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Why Deal Failed
June 1
(guest columnist: Andrew Bennett)

You can expect a list longer than a wait at the passport office and the DMV you can select and publish specific items. Deal or No Deal's many sins, with varying grades of severity, are as follows:

A) Sheetal Shetty's game took 90 minutes to play 23 cases. Jessica Robinson's game, which ended in a $1 million win, took 58 and played to the very end, plus with higher stakes which are a usual cause of drawn-out games.

B) Kimberly Chastang's $701,000 offer was spoiled. We're already glued to our sets given the amounts of money at stake...not only will this not help, but it makes it worse.

C) General spoilers of Michelle Falco. We heard a clip of Howie saying "the largest offer ever", and since we've just seen a $701,000 offer a couple days ago, it's hard to imagine any other final two cases...unless you're a casual viewer. But in the promo, the $675,000 and $701,000 offers are referred to, so that even the casual viewer now knows this information.

D) Mary Beth Holtzheimer. You may disagree with this opinion, but I'm shocked they aired that awful's the worst hour of television I've ever seen. But aside from that, how about that 52-pickup fake in the promo, placed right after the clip of Marybeth claiming she knows the million is on the podium ( what were you afraid of?), and NBC's claim that the game would drop to the last two cases. Okay, after telling us that...why is the show lasting 60 minutes?

E) Halie Swan's game, the leadoff to the first $1M Mission, lost both 1M in round 1, and was not aired due to "lack of excitement". If that was a legitimate excuse, the games of Jessica and Michelle should not have been aired either. Thanks to what you've done to them, they also lacked excitement.

F) Toni Crispino would "be ready to go ALL...THE...WAY...."...yeah, but she quit when the net broke. That classification only applies to moves such as Wesley Autrey's final few plays. If they quit as soon as the net goes away, then no, it's not trying to go all the way.

G) Brandy Brown's $1M Madness game was the "best for last"?! Yeah? You think so? Read the case picks once again, NBC...we're not going to rate this game better than Susan's...or for that matter, any of the other four games.

H) JESSICA ROBINSON. "We're getting closer..." and other blatant spoilers, when we're already glued to the TV set because of the first promo. Do we need more? Okay, how about showing us confetti, "You all ready to see history?!" and "You're going to be the first $1,000,000 winner!", and expecting us to not know what happens at the end. On top of that, we're going to have another one? Well, based on what you just showed us, we'll know exactly when this one is coming too...

I) In the next game's promo, our player was "racing towards the $1,000,000 finish line". The first four picks included both $1,000,000 cases...seems like the 24 Hours of Le Mans to me. And this is the exact same start Halie Swan had, with the same two $1,000,000 cases!

J) Specifying someone during this Mission would get a "world record offer", as quoted by Howie...I'm still waiting, brother....

K) Noting in your TV schedule that the two games following Ritchie Bell's game would contain 8M and 9M...and expecting us to be held in suspense after the final offer is refused. Let's see, he obviously isn't winning a million...and the two cases remaining are $1,000,000 and $1....yeah, seems pretty suspenseful.

L) TOMORROW RODRIGUEZ. Why did this last 86 minutes? Jessica opened two fewer cases and lasted 58. Also, there's no point in dragging the show out this long when you tell us the board after 75 minutes of play: $300 and three $1,000,000 cases. So at the beginning of the game, the promo asks if Tomorrow will "buckle under the pressure" despite this massive net, and take the $677,000...and before the show's even half done, we see this board alternately cutting to case 15, which tells us the offer was refused. If that weren't enough of a spoiler, they drag out other segments of the game, such as the $422,000 offer at 5-case which was dragged to fill an entire segment of the show (commercials before and after it) - as if we don't know what happens already!! Directly after that move, the promo shows case 11 with a smiling Katie. So now we know case 11 is chosen next, it has $400, the offer is $677,000 and refused, and case 15 is the next case...yeah. This is going to be fun! As if oblivious, the same sort of promo, asking again if Tomorrow will take the $677,000, is shown next. By the time we finally get to case 15, we have to take a break. But we might not need one, the case, then go to break. When we come back, there's only five minutes left in the show, and by the time the case finally gets opened, there's only 3:30 left. Therefore, the 300 must be in case it is impossible to fit the reaction to a 1M, collecting the offer, buildup, buildup, deliverance of the offer, buildup, more buildup, and the decision and aftermath, in 3 minutes and 30 seconds...even if you're daytime Deal editors. Because of such things as this, what began as a ratings draw-in now becomes a parody, as no promo short of an outright declaration that the 1M is won will keep viewers.

M) Now, not too long after this, there are two huge offenses in one episode. The first is a claim before Steve Smiley's game that he would dominate the board (forget the exact wording). If you mean DECIMATE the board, then you're probably right. The top three cases were removed in the first five picks!

N) Meanwhile, the promo for the second game said that Tia would "knock low amounts off the board". I think you forgot one really high amount removed in round 1.

O) As earlier mentioned, for Thanksgiving Day, NBC claimed Ashley Otte would get a "record-setting" $1,100,000 offer, when she got it in the playout. I think we know two offers larger than and one equal to that. And this is while they profess that they are trying to change the show...

P) Right after the game ends, Davon Clark's promo is shown...but the game isn't aired until December 29. Wha? This also caused Howie's quip of "Join us next time when another contestant goes for $2 MILLION!" to be false.

Q) During that specific game, when it finally turns up, Howie throws to commercial after the first offer is shown, leaving the "question in our mind" as to whether the $72,000 will be taken...if you didn't already tell us the game goes at least to the final three cases, and even what they are! Howie will also proceed to throw to break when the board is two small cases and those $400,000 and $1,000,000 cases. But we know the final three include $400,000 and $1,000,000...this is going to be a fun break. I could fill a whole pocketbook with similar offenses, but there's only 26 letters in the alphabet.

R) DIANE JORGENSON... I expected nothing less than a millionaire for this kind of would drop your sentence for this crime to perhaps life with parole after 30 years.

S) A claim in a promo for Denise Kinard included an audio clip that the final two cases in the game are $1 and $1,000,000. That means absolutely nothing as to when that occurs...sure enough, those are the final two, but she quit three rounds ago at $95,000. So not only are you still liars who obviously learned nothing over the hiatus, but you even spoil the PLAYOUT.

T) In the very last game, after the third offer is refused, with 11 cases remaining, there is a clip of Howie saying "This could be the greatest comeback in Deal history." Really? I've heard similar things such as this, like "You could set a record tonight on Deal or No Deal", when it was only used as a "what if?" question. Sure enough, the words turn up, but as "If we can keep that $400,000 going, this could be the greatest comeback...". And on the very next case, the $400,000 is erased. That is the final EPIC FAIL.

Here is a separate analysis of the final episode's second game, which will not be published unless you feel the real need to publish it, as it is about the contestant and his posse. The way this episode went will tell you why
this episode was the series finale. Sum up: Is this Deal or No Deal, or Jerry Springer?

Thomas Fritze's parents were obviously the worst choices anyone has ever made for supporters, in the entire history of this game show. They wanted him to quit at 15-case because they couldn't handle refusing $144,000. Well, excuse me...but this show is a million-dollar game show. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen!

Their respectively most egregious offenses are:

- For Mom: At 6-case, she claimed there was no safety net. OVER NINE THOUUUUUUUUSAND FAIL.

- or Dad: This is OVER NINE HUUUUUUUUNDRED THOUSAND. His behavior was so blatantly inexcusable that I doubt he's Thomas' real father. He attempted to teach a mathematician who has Deal or No Deal figured out how to play Deal or No Deal, citing the mathematical statistics at 5-case, and in any case, they were INCORRECT! The $120,000 loss if 750K is hit is right, but under his system of "expected gain/loss", there is also a $240,000 to $270,000 gain if a small case is hit. And then he tries to pass this off as fatherly duty.

Here's I need to say more?


Andrew Bennett can be reached via our address here.