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Why Deal Failed
June 1
(guest columnist: Andrew Bennett)
You can expect a list longer than a wait
at the passport office and the DMV combined...so you can select and
publish specific items. Deal or No Deal's many sins, with varying grades
of severity, are as follows:
A) Sheetal Shetty's game took 90 minutes to play 23 cases. Jessica
Robinson's game, which ended in a $1 million win, took 58 and played to
the very end, plus with higher stakes which are a usual cause of
drawn-out games.
B) Kimberly Chastang's $701,000 offer was spoiled. We're already glued
to our sets given the amounts of money at stake...not only will this not
help, but it makes it worse.
C) General spoilers of Michelle Falco. We heard a clip of Howie saying
"the largest offer ever", and since we've just seen a $701,000 offer a
couple days ago, it's hard to imagine any other final two cases...unless
you're a casual viewer. But in the promo, the $675,000 and $701,000
offers are referred to, so that even the casual viewer now knows this
information.
D) Mary Beth Holtzheimer. You may disagree with this opinion, but I'm
shocked they aired that awful decision...it's the worst hour of
television I've ever seen. But aside from that, how about that 52-pickup
fake in the promo, placed right after the clip of Marybeth claiming she
knows the million is on the podium (yeah...right...so what were you
afraid of?), and NBC's claim that the game would drop to the last two
cases. Okay, after telling us that...why is the show lasting 60 minutes?
E) Halie Swan's game, the leadoff to the first $1M Mission, lost both 1M
in round 1, and was not aired due to "lack of excitement". If that was a
legitimate excuse, the games of Jessica and Michelle should not have
been aired either. Thanks to what you've done to them, they also lacked
excitement.
F) Toni Crispino would "be ready to go ALL...THE...WAY...."...yeah, but
she quit when the net broke. That classification only applies to moves
such as Wesley Autrey's final few plays. If they quit as soon as the net
goes away, then no, it's not trying to go all the way.
G) Brandy Brown's $1M Madness game was the "best for last"?! Yeah? You
think so? Read the case picks once again, NBC...we're not going to rate
this game better than Susan's...or for that matter, any of the other
four games.
H) JESSICA ROBINSON. "We're getting closer..." and other blatant
spoilers, when we're already glued to the TV set because of the first
promo. Do we need more? Okay, how about showing us confetti, "You all
ready to see history?!" and "You're going to be the first $1,000,000
winner!", and expecting us to not know what happens at the end. On top
of that, we're going to have another one? Well, based on what you just
showed us, we'll know exactly when this one is coming too...
I) In the next game's promo, our player was "racing towards the
$1,000,000 finish line". The first four picks included both $1,000,000
cases...seems like the 24 Hours of Le Mans to me. And this is the exact
same start Halie Swan had, with the same two $1,000,000 cases!
J) Specifying someone during this Mission would get a "world record
offer", as quoted by Howie...I'm still waiting, brother....
K) Noting in your TV schedule that the two games following Ritchie
Bell's game would contain 8M and 9M...and expecting us to be held in
suspense after the final offer is refused. Let's see, he obviously isn't
winning a million...and the two cases remaining are $1,000,000 and
$1....yeah, seems pretty suspenseful.
L) TOMORROW RODRIGUEZ. Why did this last 86 minutes? Jessica opened two
fewer cases and lasted 58. Also, there's no point in dragging the show
out this long when you tell us the board after 75 minutes of play: $300
and three $1,000,000 cases. So at the beginning of the game, the promo
asks if Tomorrow will "buckle under the pressure" despite this massive
net, and take the $677,000...and before the show's even half done, we
see this board alternately cutting to case 15, which tells us the offer
was refused. If that weren't enough of a spoiler, they drag out other
segments of the game, such as the $422,000 offer at 5-case which was
dragged to fill an entire segment of the show (commercials before and
after it) - as if we don't know what happens already!! Directly after
that move, the promo shows case 11 with a smiling Katie. So now we know
case 11 is chosen next, it has $400, the offer is $677,000 and refused,
and case 15 is the next case...yeah. This is going to be fun! As if
oblivious, the same sort of promo, asking again if Tomorrow will take
the $677,000, is shown next. By the time we finally get to case 15, we
have to take a break. But we might not need one, Howie...open the case,
then go to break. When we come back, there's only five minutes left in
the show, and by the time the case finally gets opened, there's only
3:30 left. Therefore, the 300 must be in case 15...as it is impossible
to fit the reaction to a 1M, collecting the offer, buildup, buildup,
deliverance of the offer, buildup, more buildup, and the decision and
aftermath, in 3 minutes and 30 seconds...even if you're daytime Deal
editors. Because of such things as this, what began as a ratings draw-in
now becomes a parody, as no promo short of an outright declaration that
the 1M is won will keep viewers.
M) Now, not too long after this, there are two huge offenses in one
episode. The first is a claim before Steve Smiley's game that he would
dominate the board (forget the exact wording). If you mean DECIMATE the
board, then you're probably right. The top three cases were removed in
the first five picks!
N) Meanwhile, the promo for the second game said that Tia would "knock
low amounts off the board". I think you forgot one really high amount
removed in round 1.
O) As earlier mentioned, for Thanksgiving Day, NBC claimed Ashley Otte
would get a "record-setting" $1,100,000 offer, when she got it in the
playout. I think we know two offers larger than and one equal to that.
And this is while they profess that they are trying to change the
show...
P) Right after the game ends, Davon Clark's promo is shown...but the
game isn't aired until December 29. Wha? This also caused Howie's quip
of "Join us next time when another contestant goes for $2 MILLION!" to
be false.
Q) During that specific game, when it finally turns up, Howie throws to
commercial after the first offer is shown, leaving the "question in our
mind" as to whether the $72,000 will be taken...if you didn't already
tell us the game goes at least to the final three cases, and even what
they are! Howie will also proceed to throw to break when the board is
two small cases and those $400,000 and $1,000,000 cases. But we know the
final three include $400,000 and $1,000,000...this is going to be a fun
break. I could fill a whole pocketbook with similar offenses, but
there's only 26 letters in the alphabet.
R) DIANE JORGENSON... I expected nothing less than a millionaire for
this kind of wait...it would drop your sentence for this crime to
perhaps life with parole after 30 years.
S) A claim in a promo for Denise Kinard included an audio clip that the
final two cases in the game are $1 and $1,000,000. That means absolutely
nothing as to when that occurs...sure enough, those are the final two,
but she quit three rounds ago at $95,000. So not only are you still
liars who obviously learned nothing over the hiatus, but you even spoil
the PLAYOUT.
T) In the very last game, after the third offer is refused, with 11
cases remaining, there is a clip of Howie saying "This could be the
greatest comeback in Deal history." Really? I've heard similar things
such as this, like "You could set a record tonight on Deal or No Deal",
when it was only used as a "what if?" question. Sure enough, the words
turn up, but as "If we can keep that $400,000 going, this could be the
greatest comeback...". And on the very next case, the $400,000 is
erased. That is the final EPIC FAIL.
Here is a separate analysis of the final episode's second game, which
will not be published unless you feel the real need to publish it, as it
is about the contestant and his posse. The way this episode went will
tell you why
this episode was the series finale. Sum up: Is this Deal or No Deal, or
Jerry Springer?
Thomas Fritze's parents were obviously the worst choices anyone has ever
made for supporters, in the entire history of this game show. They
wanted him to quit at 15-case because they couldn't handle refusing
$144,000. Well, excuse me...but this show is a million-dollar game show.
If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen!
Their respectively most egregious offenses are:
- For Mom: At 6-case, she claimed there was no safety net. OVER NINE
THOUUUUUUUUSAND FAIL.
- or Dad: This is OVER NINE HUUUUUUUUNDRED THOUSAND. His behavior was so
blatantly inexcusable that I doubt he's Thomas' real father. He
attempted to teach a mathematician who has Deal or No Deal figured out
how to play Deal
or No Deal, citing the mathematical statistics at 5-case, and in any
case, they were INCORRECT! The $120,000 loss if 750K is hit is right,
but under his system of "expected gain/loss", there is also a $240,000
to $270,000 gain if a small case is hit. And then he tries to pass this
off as fatherly duty.
Here's America...do I need to say more?
NO. DEAL.
Andrew Bennett can be reached
via our address here.
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