Best of Manhattan - November 2
Last week, we crowned the best
of Brooklyn, then moved the show to Manhattan. Now the best
of the four shows go against each other for the title of the
Best of Manhattan.
Your contenders this week...
Trakstar, East Village, ran
all over Porter from Upper West Side
Jonny Mal, Tribeca, tore a new one on Joe from Times Square
Emilio, Hell's Kitchen, knocked the (^_^) out of Lord from
E-Man, Washington Heights, brushed off Nick from Alphabet
As always, Wilmer, Jason, and
Sam will judge on originality, quickness, delivery and
First up, the freestyle
round. Jonny Mal might as well have worn a target on his
chest. Trakstar gets the honor, taking on "Suge Knight",
E-Man. Then we'll have Emilio and Jonny Mal.
First up, the jury of their
peers... Joe, Nick, Lord, and Porter
Round 1: Old & Lazy Mommas.
E-man: "She fought Eve for Adam." Trakstar: "She
gotta douche with embalming fluid."
We've got a tie, so it goes
to Wilmer and the boys. They give it to... E-man.
Next, Emilio & Jonny Mal.
Round 2: Cheap & Crazy
Mommas. Jonny Mal: "She didn't want to pay for your
abortion. Now I'M stuck paying child support." Emilio: "She
actually think you funny."
Joe: Heads, Jonny Mal...
Nick: Jonny Mal
Lord: Jonny Mal
Porter: Jonny Mal
3-1, winner, Jonny Mal.
Final round, Jonny Mal vs.
E-Man. Last one standing wins. Guest judge... E-40.
Battle 1, joke until you
choke. Jonny Mal's best: "Yo
momma's like Burger King. She's a real Whopper." E-Man's "Yo momma
so stupid, she thought E-40 was a vitamin." E-man
Battle 2, the target round.
E-man's wife and CJ Mal are in the crossfire. Jonny Mal goes
after him with twins and coconuts. E-man gets Mr. Miyagi and
Battle 3: the knockout
Jonny Mal: "This guy thinks
he's gangsta. But you're not packin' a 9. Your wife told me
it was about 4 1/2."
E-man: "Your mother is
so fat, I took her to the ballpark, she (^_^) everybody's
(^_^), including mine." And down go the trousers, and sure
enough, his (^_^) isn't there.
After the deliberation, the
best of Manhattan... going to the Best of New York show...
will be... Jonny Mal! He gets $1000 more, tickets for
five to Mobb Deep's show, a Nintendo DS Lite, and the chance
to be crowned King of New York later in the season.