Yo Momma: Best of the Best
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Today is

Best of Manhattan - November 2

Last week, we crowned the best of Brooklyn, then moved the show to Manhattan. Now the best of the four shows go against each other for the title of the Best of Manhattan.

Your contenders this week...

Trakstar, East Village, ran all over Porter from Upper West Side
Jonny Mal, Tribeca, tore a new one on Joe from Times Square
Emilio, Hell's Kitchen, knocked the (^_^) out of Lord from Harlem
E-Man, Washington Heights, brushed off Nick from Alphabet City

As always, Wilmer, Jason, and Sam will judge on originality, quickness, delivery and sting.

First up, the freestyle round. Jonny Mal might as well have worn a target on his chest. Trakstar gets the honor, taking on "Suge Knight", E-Man. Then we'll have Emilio and Jonny Mal.

First up, the jury of their peers... Joe, Nick, Lord, and Porter

Round 1: Old & Lazy Mommas. E-man: "She fought Eve for Adam." Trakstar: "She gotta douche with embalming fluid."

Joe: Trakstar
Nick: E-man
Lord: E-man
Porter: Trakstar

We've got a tie, so it goes to Wilmer and the boys. They give it to... E-man.

Next, Emilio & Jonny Mal.

Round 2: Cheap & Crazy Mommas. Jonny Mal: "She didn't want to pay for your abortion. Now I'M stuck paying child support." Emilio: "She actually think you funny."

Joe: Heads, Jonny Mal... Tails... EMILIO
Nick: Jonny Mal
Lord: Jonny Mal
Porter: Jonny Mal

3-1, winner, Jonny Mal.

Final round, Jonny Mal vs. E-Man. Last one standing wins. Guest judge... E-40.

Battle 1, joke until you choke. Jonny Mal's best: "Yo momma's like Burger King. She's a real Whopper." E-Man's "Yo momma so stupid, she thought E-40 was a vitamin." E-man chokes!

Battle 2, the target round. E-man's wife and CJ Mal are in the crossfire. Jonny Mal goes after him with twins and coconuts. E-man gets Mr. Miyagi and wedding.

Battle 3: the knockout round...

Jonny Mal: "This guy thinks he's gangsta. But you're not packin' a 9. Your wife told me it was about 4 1/2."

E-man: "Your mother is so fat, I took her to the ballpark, she (^_^) everybody's (^_^), including mine." And down go the trousers, and sure enough, his (^_^) isn't there.

After the deliberation, the best of Manhattan... going to the Best of New York show... will be...  Jonny Mal! He gets $1000 more, tickets for five to Mobb Deep's show, a Nintendo DS Lite, and the chance to be crowned King of New York later in the season.


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