Best of Brooklyn - October 26
We've had four shows. We've had
four winners. Now its time for them to take on each other
for the crown of best trash-talker in Brooklyn.
Your contenders this week...
Kareem, Williamsburg, dimed
out P-Money from Flatbush
Carlos, Brooklyn Heights, wrecked Reckless X from Bed-Stuy
Glenn, Bensonhurst, showed up T-Skillz from Bay Ridge
Cutless, Coney Island, shut out HD from Sunset Park
As always, Wilmer, Jason, and
Sam will judge on originality, quickness, delivery and
First up, the freestyle
round. Glenn, thinking that this is the Wild'n Out WildStyle
round, watches in horror as Cutless gets the first pick in
the semi round. He picks "the gay Cowboy, because he loves
Wood... son." Glenn vs. Kareem, later. Right now, Cutless
First up, the jury of their
peers... P-Money, Reckless X, T-Skillz, and HD.
Round 1: Bald & Hairy Mommas.
Cutless: "When she gets a fade, they have to start at her
wrists." Carlos: "She has to shave with Gillette, the best a
man can get."
Reckless X: Cutless
It's a 4-0 sweep. Cutless is
moving to the final.
Next, Glenn & Kareem.
Round 2: Stupid & Poor
Mommas. Glenn: "I went down her house and said to let me in,
she opened the door and pulled down her (^_^)." Kareem: "She
thought Dick Cheney was a vibrator."
HD: the new Ali G, Kareem
Tie ball game. Wilmer and his
crew go with... Glenn.
Final round, Cutless vs.
Glenn. Last one standing wins. Guest judge... Jadakiss.
Battle 1, the speed round.
Thirty seconds to spit on anything. Cutless's best: "Yo
momma's so fat, she put on a white shirt and went to her
night job, as the moon!" Glenn's "Yo momma's so nasty, even
her crabs wear condoms."
Battle 2, the target round.
Glenn's friend Javier, and Cutless' brother Gavin. Cutless
goes after him with gay marriage, bowl cuts, foot Tupperware
and gay Smurfs. Gavin gets bumpy faces, 'Nsync rejects, and
pooka shells (assist from WILMER).
Battle 3: the knockout
Glenn: "Your mother's so
stupid, she used Visine during her (^_^) thinking she could
get the red out."
Cutless: "After this battle
is over, tell your mom it's over. Stop calling me, stop
going to my house... in fact, you can take her panties
back!" (cue the GRANNY PANTIES... with a blurred out track.)
After the deliberation, the
best of Brooklyn is revealed as... Cutless! He wins another
$1000 in cash money and the right to move on to the
season-ending Best of New York show.