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Today is

Best of Brooklyn - October 26

We've had four shows. We've had four winners. Now its time for them to take on each other for the crown of best trash-talker in Brooklyn.

Your contenders this week...

Kareem, Williamsburg, dimed out P-Money from Flatbush
Carlos, Brooklyn Heights, wrecked Reckless X from Bed-Stuy
Glenn, Bensonhurst, showed up T-Skillz from Bay Ridge
Cutless, Coney Island, shut out HD from Sunset Park

As always, Wilmer, Jason, and Sam will judge on originality, quickness, delivery and sting.

First up, the freestyle round. Glenn, thinking that this is the Wild'n Out WildStyle round, watches in horror as Cutless gets the first pick in the semi round. He picks "the gay Cowboy, because he loves Wood... son." Glenn vs. Kareem, later. Right now, Cutless vs. Carlos.

First up, the jury of their peers... P-Money, Reckless X, T-Skillz, and HD.

Round 1: Bald & Hairy Mommas. Cutless: "When she gets a fade, they have to start at her wrists." Carlos: "She has to shave with Gillette, the best a man can get."

T-Skillz: Cutless
Reckless X: Cutless
P-Money: Cutless
HD: Cutless

It's a 4-0 sweep. Cutless is moving to the final.

Next, Glenn & Kareem.

Round 2: Stupid & Poor Mommas. Glenn: "I went down her house and said to let me in, she opened the door and pulled down her (^_^)." Kareem: "She thought Dick Cheney was a vibrator."

HD: the new Ali G, Kareem
P-Money: Kareem
X: Glenn
T-Skills: Glenn

Tie ball game. Wilmer and his crew go with... Glenn.

Final round, Cutless vs. Glenn. Last one standing wins. Guest judge... Jadakiss.

Battle 1, the speed round. Thirty seconds to spit on anything. Cutless's best: "Yo momma's so fat, she put on a white shirt and went to her night job, as the moon!" Glenn's "Yo momma's so nasty, even her crabs wear condoms."

Battle 2, the target round. Glenn's friend Javier, and Cutless' brother Gavin. Cutless goes after him with gay marriage, bowl cuts, foot Tupperware and gay Smurfs. Gavin gets bumpy faces, 'Nsync rejects, and pooka shells (assist from WILMER).

Battle 3: the knockout round...

Glenn: "Your mother's so stupid, she used Visine during her (^_^) thinking she could get the red out."

Cutless: "After this battle is over, tell your mom it's over. Stop calling me, stop going to my house... in fact, you can take her panties back!" (cue the GRANNY PANTIES... with a blurred out track.)

After the deliberation, the best of Brooklyn is revealed as... Cutless! He wins another $1000 in cash money and the right to move on to the season-ending Best of New York show.

 

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