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Dark Rising - August 10

Last time, our heroes had to save the day against a band of dogs, and when one of them couldn't, she was sent packing (Cell Phone Girl). Then came an extreme makeover, which led to another elimination, but the Iron Enforcer wasn't sent home just yet, as he underwent a transformation into The Dark Enforcer.

The next morning begins with Monkey Woman hanging from a shelf while dusting it, while Feedback practices his kung fu skills.

Stan calls the heroes into the living room, telling them that every superhero needs a supervillain. Batman has the Joker. Spider-Man has the Green Goblin. And our heroes have... the Dark Enforcer. "He is threatening all of you, and it's right here, right now."

And sure enough, up the stairs he comes. What makes a good supernemesis? "Maybe it's a guy who's been shot by other people. Maybe it's everyone favorite punching bag. Maybe it's a guy who everyone claims uses steroids."

Maybe it just happens to be Steel Chambers, who once was the Iron Enforcer.

Tyveculus felt betrayed. Fat Momma felt like she should keep our guard up. And she does that as what started as a conversation about what should happen if you turn turncoat ends as a shouting match between Lemuria and Fat Momma. Feedback puts it succinctly: "I guess the Dark Enforcer has already succeeded. Now we're turning on each other? That just doesn't feel right."

The next challenge... Lunch? Stan sends our heroes out to the corner cafe with $20 to get a lunch. He said that the choices they make will let him know if they are superhero material. Stan wants to see the choices they made until the Dark Enforcer shows up, telling him that he planted a few employees.

Stan then reminds the team of the #1 rule of being a superhero, "You never give up your secret identity."

Quincy (Tyveculus) does just that. So does Tonya (Creature). So does Tonatzin (Lemuria). So does Chris (Major Victory). So does Mary (Monkey Woman). That's five... of seven. Not only that, Monkey Woman tells her waiter basically the ins-and-outs of how to get on a reality show.

Forget lunch. It's an elimination time. Fat Momma and Feedback are the only two who are safe from elimination.

Stan calls Monkey Woman out for giving her true identity without being asked, and gave up websites for up-and-coming actors. "Because I, too, am an actress." That REALLY puts Stan off, as everyone had to be here for the right reasons. Not only that, at the audition, she told Stan that she was a real-estate investor. Without calling out any more heroes, Stan dismisses the Monkey Woman.

Lesson learned. Once you're a superhero, you're a superhero 24/7. Also, honesty is the only policy for a superhero.

The next day brings the next challenge. This one will test your courage. To the roof!

The object: save a woman from a burning building... by walking across a beam high up from one rooftop to another.

Tyveculus has the advantage, having saved more than his fair share of damsels in distress on burning rooftops, but I bet he never had to do it blindfolded. Here's the Dark Enforcer again.

Creature is up first... What she doesn't know is that she's not on the rooftop AT ALL. Furthermore, the girl she's trying to save... meet her twin sister. And the Dark Enforcer has come up with another hitch... a wind machine.

Meanwhile, all of the heroes made it back safely only to find out that they're NOT five stories from the ground, they're NOT in the middle of a windstorm, and they're NOT rescuing the lady on the other side of the alley. Yep. This is what you call a superhero superpunk'd.

Back in the lair, the heroes have to prepare for yet another elimination. This time, each hero must choose one of their own for elimination and justify that choice.

Creature stands up first.... and tells the group that she should be the one taken off the show. She's not sure she's the superhero she wants to be...

Major Victory ... also picks himself.

Tyveculus says that Lemuria lacks self-control.

Feedback also thinks that he should be the one to leave.

Lemuria also volunteers herself.

Fat Momma says that Feedback could snap at any moment.

We take it to the room for an elimination. In danger tonight: Tyveculus, Fat Momma, and ... that's it. Both of them lacked self-sacrifice in the prior test. Superheroes would never sacrifice another hero.

Was Tyveculus being sincere or does she not like Lemuria? Was Fat Momma really as compassionate as she let on? In the end, she was... more so than Tyveculus.

"Tyveculus, turn in your costume." But in some ways, as a firefighter, he's already a superhero.

Back on the roof, Fat Momma tells everyone says that she should've been the one to go. Back in the lair, though, she tells everyone else that she thought that everyone was fake in saying that they should be the one to go. She wants to continue in the game now for payback for Tyveculus. "To be continued..."

Until next time, true believers...

 

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