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The Biggest
Chubby
July 31
Last time, the comics were plunged first
into the all-woman of Luenell... only to find that love was more
shocking than rocking. Donnell got his walking papers leaving seven
comics to eat... or be eaten... quite literally.
Tonight on Reality Bites Back.... "The Biggest Chubby."
The person who gains the most weight this week will be immune from
elimination.
to start it out, we get weighed...
STARTING WEIGHTS (in lbs)
Theo: 184.2
Bert: 214.4
Amy: 144.0 ("I haven't vomited in weeks.")
Chris: 153.4
Mo: 180.4
Tiffany: 144.0 (Like Amy, she hides it all in her back bumper)
Red: 225.0
Now for the medical... "Contestants, believe it or not, there are
dangers involved with any force-eating challenge." So for this episode,
the chubbies are being provided with two professional trainers... Lavell
Crawford and Billy Merritt... two fat comics.
TEAM LAVELL
Amy
Mo
Bert
Red
TEAM BILLY
Tiffany
Theo
Chris
Theo says that Chris looks like he's weighed in at his birthweight.
First stop... DONUTS! "This is where champions go to die." This is where
Lavell says that you get fat for real. Billy, on the other hand, has
meat hanging from the ceiling. "These will make you larger...
stronger... BETTER people."
We get it, Theo. You think Billy's a pedophile.
Mo is hyped to be on Lavell's team. "He's got the man tits and the back
roll." Meanwhile, Blue Billy's Blue Team has, on the other hand... mac &
cheese... and butter... and corn syrup.
Lavell serves up dessert... a ham-sicle.
The rest of the challenge looks like your typical episode of "Hurl!" ...
right down to the small guy (Chris) biting off more than he can chew...
AND then throwing it back up.
Now the teams head out to meet Michael in... "Custard's Last Stand." Two
pools... 3000 pounds of custard. Each team will have one person as the
designated eater. Ten minutes later, whoever eats more wins. Red
chooses... Red. And Blue chooses Theo, the only "man" on the team.
Bert: "That's so close to your balls, Theo! You're eating cream off of
our balls!" At five minutes, both contestants are flagging... and at one
minute left, Theo throws caution to the wind and dunks his head.
Time's up. Red... Theo... Together, they ate a combined 17.5 pounds...
most of it Theo's... 9.5 pounds. But there's no real reward. It was just
our producer's sick fantasy of making human creamhorns.
Words from the winner? "I just feel really ashamed of myself."
One more opportunity to pack on a few pounds with .... venting for
one... then eating burgers while we see a prepackaged montage about how
this experience has changed our lived... how you can put ranch on
everything... and how...
"THIS TENDER MOMENT HAS BEEN RUINED BY MIKE'S HARD LEMONADE."
FINAL WEIGH-INS
Bert: 214.4 223.8 +9.4 4.4%
Tiffany: 144.0 147.4 +3.4 2.4%
Theo: 184.2 193.2 +9.0 4.9%
Amy: 144.0 145.9 +1.9 1.3%
Red: 225.0 233.6 +8.6 3.8%
Chris: 153.4 162.6 +9.2 6.0%
Mo needs to gain 11 pounds to win...
Mo: 180.4 193.3 +12.9 7.2%
That makes Mo Mandel the Biggest Chubby! He is immune... AND then that
contestant will choose one... and on and on down the line until there
are two.
Mo will choose... Theo Von. Theo will choose... Chris Fairbanks.... who
chooses Amy Schumer... who chooses Red Grant... who chooses between
Tiffany or Bert..
"I'm gonna have to go with the easy decision, who is on my team... Bert
Kreischer." Words from the eliminated Tiffany? "Mother(^_^)."
And all they (or we) can do is laugh at her.
Next week, six comics and three angry INS agents. It's big... loud...
shiny... violent... and stupid. It's "Almost American Gladiators" as
reality... bites back. |
