"Ellenville, NY" -
Hello, Ellenville! This hour is dedicated to you and
your aluminum tubing. There's a possibility that all 200
Ellenvillians may go home with an incredible prize... an
HP laptop each, but only if Javier Gonzalez can pull
through the Name Your Neighbors game. That comes later,
though. Can the resident arbiter of useless information
pull through in the clutch? We'll find out...
But first, some tidbits
about Ellenville, situated in the unmowable majesty of
the Catskill mountains. Ellenville, the hang-gliding
capital of the northeast. Ellenville, home of the patrol
Gem car. Ellenville, home of a boy who delivers the
paper. That would be paperboy Logan Rotolo. He brings
news that "Ellenville Man Sleeps With Supermodel."
Hardly newsworthy, we know. But he's in the group
tonight. Randy Miller is the dude in question. That's
his wife Jean there. Still defiant, so we bring up a
Swede named Brigitte, a camera, and the strangest thing
of all, going to bed... at 9:30. So far, nothing out of
the normally. Until, at 1:31a, Jean gets out of bed, and
in comes Brigitte. And he's sleeping through the whole
enters via hot tub with a Mediterranean cruise... sans
wife. OR he could spend one night with Jean in the
Poconos, one door over from the place where they met.
Randy says... Poconos. A faithful man, that guy is.
Meanwhile, Johnny feels a bit off about this, so he
takes Brigitte to the Poconos and gives the cruise over
to the Millers! And when they get home, they'll have the
hot tub awaiting them. Seriously.
And sitting in with the
band today is trumpeter Jack Gillette. Presenting the
computer to be won tonight is town manager Elliot
Auerbach. The computer itself is an HP Lance Armstrong
special edition, signed by the biker and emblazoned with
the phrase "Live strong."
Tanya Allen-Lyles was
"thinking big" in her application to get on the show.
How big? A Hummer. That's big. It just so happens that
we have one of those... And it fits in the palm of
Johnny's hand. How disappointing. Meanwhile, we bring
out the life-size version, a 2006 Hummer H3. And all she
has to do is "Identify That Song in Various Speeds". Did
we mention that Tanya has an insane amount of CDs? And
in the bathroom, no less! The game is, identify the song
as its being blared out of the car speakers as the car
is going by. Playing flag girl is Kristen Osterhoudt.
First vehicle, driven by
Arthur Lee Grant. His song at 20 MPH is "Rhinestone
Cowboy". She nails it. Second vehicle, driven by
Meredith Dunn, traveling at 30 is "Play That Funky Music
White Boy". She nails it. Third and final vehicle,
driven by a professional driver... a very fast one...
140 MPH. Slow it down a bit.... Okay, Tanya has to
think... "Crazy On You" by Heart. She's right! She's got
a gas guzzler!
Singing with the house
band is Irish tenor Joe Wolfe. Vicki Cohen, meanwhile,
loves infomercials. So she gets to watch an infomercial.
The product: herself (going for $19.95, call
1-800-654-2192). With that, it's time for... The
Ellenville 2005 Naked Calendar!
director Brendan Burke
February: building super Rebecca Wood
March: janitors Myron & Mark Logan
April: hang-glider Greg Black
May: mechanic Keith McGriff
June: runner Taahira Hakim-El
July: Married couple Andrew & Sam Bugna
August: fireman John Wojciechowicz
September: foreman Michael Jeter
October: scary Arnold Rosen
November: paintballer Sean Selear (and friends)
December: balloon artist Annette Steele
Playing sax with the
band is Erica Stoeckeler. "Don't Crash, Javier".
Meanwhile, Sally & Serge Dealy are in the crowd enjoying
the show. Rose & Bernie O'Donohue is enjoying the show.
Lonely man Andrew Bugna is sorta enjoying the show. He
and Sam (from earlier) own a restaurant, where she is
working right now. They spend a lot of time in the
restaurant, too much time to spend on home improvement,
mail, and their kids. He's even lost track of his
favorite baseball jersey. He thought it was in the
basement. It's actually... in London. His Father's Day
pictures by the phone and restaurant... are in Paris.
His Ellenville High football jersey at school... is in
Egypt. And his wife... is in the Florida Keys (with kids
Mali, Drew & CJ). Andrew's about to join them for five
days. Meanwhile at the restaurant... "Sorry, we're
closed thanks to ABC (have fun, Bugnas!)".
Time to close up shop,
but not before Javier has a chance to "Name Your
Neighbors". Simple premise: if you can name six of them,
you win laptop0s for 200. First, though, some words from
Adam "Batman" West. "Good luck, Ellenville! Those
computers are sweeeet!"
Did we mention that he's
also on Family Guy? On we go...
Is window six Jean
Miller? YES! Ellenville is land of the laptops... and My
Kind of Town! Until next week, "live strong".