Roses, Music, and a
From Hollywood... Looking like a pilot-stage...
it's Late Night Liars! Tonight, the nips and tucks of Shelley Oceans! The wraps
and bandages of William A. Mummy! The couture and doggie-bags of Cashmere
Ramada! And the tight shirts and wry wit of Sir Sebastian Simian. With your announcer Weasel! And
the last sane man on earth, your host... Larry Miller!
And here are our players...
training for triathlons
The object of the game is simple... Spot the
liar. For each liar you spot, you win cash money. Most money at the end of the
game goes on to play for $10,000... more or less.
ROUND 1: Rose Varieties That Can't Possibly Smell
Mummy: Torched Flamingo
Cashmere: Golden Showers
Two are lying... Which is a real pope, and which
is a lie?
And the real answers...Golden Showers.... and
Seagull. So Don takes the money and the lead. Suzie takes... a powder.
ROUND 2: Tasty-Sounded Supreme Court Justices ($834)
Mummy: Justice James W. Melon
Cashmere: Justice Salmon P. Chase
Sebastian: Justice Warren Burger
Shelley: Justice Felix Frankfurter
This time, only one panelist is lying. Which one
of these is innocent?
Sebastian... is telling the truth. So was
Shelley... ... and so is Cashmere. We're still at $587-nil in favor of
ROUND 3: Can't Stop The Music
You have to pick a panelist and determine whether
or not they're lying, if you are right, they pay you cash according to the
random-ometer, which ranges from $100 to... "more than that".
Don starts with Shelley. Tony Bennett's
famous song, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco", has nothing to do with
his hometown. He's going TRUE... Tony was born in... Astoria! SPIN THE
BOARD! Don wins... $943 more for a total of $1530. Suzie can still win
She picks Sebastian. The story: to earn a
gold record nowadays from the RIAA, an artist must sell at least a
million copies of a given recording. Suzie goes TRUTH... No, it's only
half-a-million. DON WINS! Suzie leaves with $500 and a set of Perfect
Weasel sets the jackpot at $10,000.... with $4
interest for a total of $10,004!
Don will have 43 seconds to correctly identify
eight statements as either true or false. Tonight, he is playing with Mummy, who
has the late great GARY COLEMAN, and Cash, who has DONALD TRUMP. Get eight in 43
seconds, and you win the $10,004.
GARY: once ran for governor of
- TRUTH (1)
TRUMP: has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
- LIE (X)
GARY: once appeared commercials for the payday loan company Cash Call.
- TRUTH (2)
TRUMP: filed for personal bankruptcy in 1999.
- TRUTH (X)
GARY: filed for personal bankruptcy in 1999.
- TRUTH (3)
TRUMP: once shaved Vince McMahon's head on national TV.
- LIE (X)
GARY: as a child, starred in the sitcom "Webster"
- LIE (4)
TRUMP: as a teen, attended the New York Military Academy.
- TRUTH (5)
GARY: popularized the catchphrase, "What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
- TRUTH (6)
TRUMP: tried to copyright the catchphrase, "You're fired!"
- TRUTH (7)
GARY: graduated from the Wharton School of Business in 1968
- LIE (WIN!!!)
Congratulations, Don! That gives you a grand
total of $11,534!
Next week, another "guest" raids the panel. She's
a cutey-patootey. Until then, remember, if you have to lie, at least run for
Congress. Okay, guys... that's LAST CALL.
(C-Note: Celebrity voices are impersonated, no
celebrities were harmed in the filming of this episode)
To view extras too hot for even late
night, go to www.pmz.tv