Episode 3 -
Welcome back to classic comedy Game Show Moments from
FremantleMedia (nee Pearson Television). Will we get
another 30 minutes of Family Feud, or will we actually
have some diversity? Let's find out...
"The first game show was called '____ of Fortune'
because they didn't invent the wheel yet.' says Ben.
Apparently, they had Family Feud, because we start
with this. Host Richard Karn - "Name an animal who's
eggs you'd probably never eat for breakfast."
Contestant - "Hamster." Karn - "I hate to tell you,
but those little pellets aren't eggs."
More Feud - Name something you add boiling water to.
Answer - A Kettle.
After getting a contestant who curses for giving the
clue in Password, a contestant on the Australian
version on The Price is Right who brays for a minute
(C-Note: it is federal law and edict that any moment
involving TPIR from Oz include Larry Emdur and a glass
of water) and a guy who talks about sexual experiences
using a toilet, we get another Feudism... Name
something you write about on a holiday postcard.
Answer - Send a postcard home.
We get the pantomime show "Showoffs" where we have
Dick Gautier humps the floor to get the word
"Honeymoon", right into this week's Top 5. The
category - Top 5 Wardrobe Malfunctions. The star on
this segment - America's Next Top Model's Jay Manuel.
#5 - A contestant's underwear is falling off on Family
There's no doubt what #1 has to be, as someone's
breasts make a cameo appearance on the beginning of
The Price is Right. I'd be shocked if that wasn't
It's time to go back to the 60's era where we see an
armadillo pooping on Bud Collyer - the host of To Tell
the Truth. We then see a pooping cow - also on the
show hosted by Bud Collyer. Poor bud. Then we have a
UK Distraction clip with pooping pigeons - except they
are supposed to be pooping on the contestants - who
have their mouths wide open thanks to dentist tools.
We get another overanxious contestant on TPIR who is
waiting to leave her husband for Bob. We also get
contestants falling on the set of Password Plus, as
Allen Ludden explains that the female contestant fell
'in his hole'. We also get a firefighter rescuing a
woman stuck on the toilet, using KY Jelly and tongue
depressors to get her off. We also get a Distraction
skit where the contestant's money is burning in a
toaster, and the contestant is fanning the flames -
which actually makes the money burn quicker.
Of course, we've gone five minutes without any Family
Feud clips, so let's have some of those. A slang word
for money... Monet. (C-Note: Beats some of the answers
I've heard). Something you wash once a week...
Yourself. Something that comes in 7's... fingers.
Time to play the in-studio Feud! Today's contestant is
Kendall Swenson, an assistant to a musical attorney.
After saying that the can't sue Yanni for sucking, we
get to see her questions. The prize this week is... 7
Ounces of Wheat Nuts! Mmm, mmm, good...
Question #1 - Name a famous Willie. Answer - Willie
Mays (32), Contestant's answer - Willie the Pooh.
Apparently, the contestant didn't get enough of the
pooping animals earlier.
Question #2 - Name a job that helicopters are used
for. Kendall's answer - Traffic Reporting (4).
Contestant's Answer - Tuna Fishing.
Question #3 - Name something a woman wouldn't be
caught dead leaving the house without. Kendall - Purse
(31). Contestant's Answer - Tampon.
Question #4 - Name an invention that has replaced
stairs. Kendall's Answer - Escalator (17),
Contestant's Answer - The Wheel.
Question #5 - Name a part of the body that gets bigger
as adults get older. Kendall - Ears (6). That totals
90 and she doesn't get any Wheat Nuts. Contestant's
Answer - Penis! No Wheat Nuts for Kendall, but
apparently, the contestant was thinking about nuts, so
Wardrobe Malfunction #4 - In a classic Tattletales
spot, Gary Burghoff is asked if he would pose naked.
He is in the booth with the camera off. When the
camera comes back on, Gary has no shirt, and his
stunned wife - as well as the other female contestant
- come out to take a peek.
The Name's The Same - the name is "A. Maid", and when
the panel asks if a man can get pleasure form it, the
audience applauds in laughter. "When you press one of
these things in the dark, does it light up?... Would
you say that they are pleasant to sit on?... I pass
before I get arrested."
We get a pratfall on The UK version of Blind Date,
while a contestant thinks that an animal with good
sight is a bat. Match Game - Charles Nelson Reilly
gets into it with a cameraman, which prompts host Gene
Rayburn to come down and manually move the camera.
Distraction - (UK) A girl says that her boyfriend used
to pay her for sex. Too. Much. Information.
Family Feud/Fortunes (UK) - Name a way of toasting
someone. Answer - Over a fire. Les Dennis says that if
the answer is up there, he'll pay her himself, but
sure enough, 12 people said it. The host is out £12.
Let's swing over to the U.S. version - Something twins
might share while growing up. Answer - A mother's
breast. Name a character from Alice in Wonderland.
Answer - The Tin Man.
We get a "Your Face or Mine" where we find out that
the guy in a straight relationship likes to kiss men
and enjoys drinking pee. He then kisses the host Jimmy
Carr. Jimmy's response? "I don't want to be
unpleasant, but that tasted like piss."
Wardrobe Malfunction #3 - In Family Feud (Combs)
Tawnni Cable hits the buzzer... with her boob. Ray -
"I need an answer...probably 2."
We get a silly montage of Bert Convy being
French-kissed, while Allen Ludden chats about 'doing
it' on Password and a Playboy Bunny claiming that it
took her all night to lose her virginity. Gene Rayburn
has to do his duties and kiss a 70 year old woman - on
the lips - and she seems a bit too eager to do it.
Family Feud - Name a specific food with an edible
skin. Answer - Banana. Something your neighbor has
that you wish you had. Answer - A beautiful wife. Well
someone had a bad divorce, eh?
Name something that has a hole in the middle, and the
contestant says something so unintelligible that Ray
Combs has to hit her in the head. Name something that
you jump on and ride. Answer - Your partner.
The Price is Right - we have a contestant with very
shaky knees - shaky to the point that Bob has to
comment about it. We get more Child's Play clips and
...oh look, more Feud. Name a bad habit do you have
that you most like to lose. Answer - 'Picking My
Nose'. Name a place where you would keep a pen. Answer
Password Plus - we have people asking in the form of
the question, which gets an admonishment from Allen
Ludden - who then asks if the answer to the puzzle is
Jeopardy. We get a contestant who slips down the
stairs in "Atinale al Precio" (the Mexican TPIR) and
Bert Convy mistakenly calling the guys on the stage
Family Feud - Name a reason why you would be on your
knees. Answer - To be beheaded.
Distraction - We get a clip on people answering
questions while attaching rubber bands on your face.
That leads us to Lisa and Shawn, who will be doing a
Beat The Clock stunt which had nothing to do with
rubber bands, but has plenty to do with them trying to
get out of a coat in 45 seconds. They successfully do
so, and they win as a reward... Philips Milk of
Magnesia! Shawn gives it to Lisa, who says that she
needs it. What a nice guy that Shawn is...
Wardrobe Malfunction #2 - A woman on the Price is
Right comes down - and busts her bra, leaving her
breasts flapping in the wind.
Match Game - The police commissioner says, I think
Batman and Robin are... Contestant - Queer. Family
Feud (UK) Host - Name something that is bad for you.
Contestant - Sex. Host - You're doing it all wrong.
Contestant - No I'm not, I have 4 kids.
We get another Distraction round where the buzzers are
attached to mouse traps, then we get Family Feud -
Name something people take with them to the bath
besides a soap and a towel. Contestant - Duck.
Richard, of course, has a field day with the answer...
until it shows up with 11 people saying it. Richard -
"I get to retire after the show." Richard is more able
to make fun of this answer - Name something strangers
talk about. Answer - their mutual friends.
Match Game 98 - Susan said being married to a drill
sergeant has it's drawbacks. After we make love, he
expects me to _____. Contestant - Do Push Ups. George
Hamilton - Stand at Attention... which gets him
smacked a little. Rondell Sheridan's answer - 'Clean
his Weapon', which gets him smacked by all of the
women and gets a whoop from the Dawg Pound.
Wardrobe Malfunction #1...Super Password??!?!. Well,
Rip Taylor does go nuts and rips off his hairpiece
(while Bert Convy attaches it to his chest), which is
funny, but Yolanda's boobs popping out of her dress in
The Price is Right should have been number one.
There's no time for that discussion though - this
episode is over. Join us in seven days as we get to
debate on another Top 5.