Episode 1 -
May 21
Game show moments do very very well.
HOW WELL ARE THEY?
They are SO well, that VH1 has given us a game show on
the best of those moments. Your host, which should be
very familiar to you, is Ben Stein (from Win Ben
Stein's Money, of course).
We start with Stein, who talks about how his most
favorite job was being a game show host. He talks
about how much fun it is to be a contestant, where
even if they lose, they get some sort of consolation
prize. Other people are... well, they are fun to make
fun of, as we see in the following clips...
Card Sharks - 80 year old Maury calls Madonna a he.
Family Fortunes (The British version of Family Feud) -
Why do people stand up quickly? Answer - To go to
church.
Whammy! - What sort of vehicles are used in the Tour
de France? Alan - SUV's
Family Feud - Name a vegetable you marinate. Mark -
Grapes
Distraction (UK Version) - Kuldeep admits to having
sex in front of 50 people. Oooh la laaaaa.
Next up - a highlight on the late Bert Convy, as we
get a montage of him giving out the clues on Super
Password by actually SAYING the words. That's a great
clue, Bert - but not legal. Ben - 'The Password
is...Blunder'
Next up - The Top 5 Host Screw Ups of all time, by
Chuck Woolery. #5... Match Game '90, when Ross Shafer
tumbles down his flight of stairs. I thought Jim
Peck's tumble on The Big Showdown was more impressive,
but that doesn't make the Top 5. I guess we don't have
the copyrights to that one.
(C-Note: The show is from FremantleMedia, so this show
will only cover G-T, Fremantle, and Grundy shows. Too
bad, as there are a lot of fun stuff out there. but
this can still be fun).
With that, we go to more blunders...
Family Fortunes - The host can't understand a
contestant when he says 'Bake' (and it sounded like
Bick). An Americanized Feud clip shows someone hitting
the buzzer - before the question is asked.
Then we get to a pair of classic clips - 1. the
classic Match Game clip where Gene Rayburn talks to a
woman who doesn't remember her husband's name - and
then has to apologize to her husband of 5 years. Next
classic clip - Patricia Bernard, on whom when hearing
her name on The Price is Right, immediately runs to
the bathroom, while Bob Barker does the play-by-play.
Back to Distraction UK, where we see a montage of
people hitting a buzzer - surrounded by cacti. To make
things worse, the contestants are then blindfolded and
the cacti are rotated. Ouch!
Scrabble is next. Can you spell Mosquito? These
contestants can't as they screw it up 4 times.
Masquito? Misquito? Musquito? Mosquites? This could be
the reason why the spelling part of the show was
eliminated.
Family Fortunes (UK) - Name something made of wool.
Answer - Sheep
Puzzlers - What letter fills in this word _art? _all?
_able? _arzan. The answer, of course, is T, but I'm
sure you were thinking something else.
Family Feud - Name a time most people wake up? Answer
- In the morning. Name a time most people go to bed?
Answer - At night. We get an extension of the game,
where college student David Selsby can win a prize. If
he can get 100 points on 5 Family Feud questions, he
wins.... Capsazin Foot Cream! Well, it's good to see
that the budget for most Fremantle shows easily passes
into specials about Fremantle shows.
Question 1 - Name a part of the body that everyone
only has one of. David - Brain - 31 points. Blooper
contestant - Big Toe.
Question 2 - Name a game played in the dark. David -
Hide and Seek - 7 points. Blooper contestant -
Charades. (Sort of hard to do in the dark)
Question 3 - Name a vocalist with only one name. David
- Bono - 28 points. Blooper contestant - Michael
Jackson. Wha? Even the emcee laughed at the contestant
Question 4 - Name a noise that your partner might make
in the dark. David - Cough - 31 points. Blooper
contestant - Fart.
Question 5 - Name something a dentist says. David -
Open up wide - 6 points. Blooper contestant - Just a
small prick. The dentists office is on 42nd street?
David's Total? 103 points! He wins the Capsazin!
Game Show Host Screw Up #4. On Blockbusters, Leland
answers the question with 'Ear'. Bill? That's wrong.
The right answer is ear.' This does get fixed, but
it's pretty funny.
We're not done giving away prizes. We will give away
Meghan some Citrucel is she can match Ben on Full of
_____. Meghan says 'Crap'. Do you really think you are
going to match conservative Ben Stein with Crap? No,
as Ben says 'Hot Air'.
We see a Price is Right montage with overexcited
contestants who bang the podium and shake
their...um...assets. Ruby Jean comes up on stage, and
Bob asks Ruby Jean to tell her why she can play and
the other people in Contestants Row don't. Ruby
quickly realizes her error and scurries back down the
stage.
Blind Date - How can you change her? Answer - Plastic
Surgery.
Family Feud - Something done slowly during the
weekend, but rushed during the week. Answer - Making
love, of course. Then we get, during the Fast Money
round, the question of 'Something to which you often
lose your key', which Richard has to explain to both
teen celebrities.
Distraction (UK) - A drinking competition where you
get to drink your own urine. Yum.
Super Password - Richard Moll gets 'Hairy' and 'Palm'
as clues. 'Is it dates.. or lack of dates?' Ouch.
Family Feud - Name something you should do in
moderation or you'll be sorry later. Answer - Sex
(Duh).
Match Game - The agent said to King Kong, boy do I
have a deal for you. You're going to be the 8th dwarf
in Snow White and the 8 Dwarfs, and you're going to be
named ______. Scoey Mitchell's (who is around as
Pro-Black as you can get without being anti-White)
response? Whitey.
To Tell The Truth - A child African explorer says his
name is Peter Ogubobby Pilangian. Child #2 - 'My
name's the same as his.'
Your Face or Mine (UK) - A person is making his
judgment based on ...breast size. Well, at least he's
doing what we are traditionally thinking.
Scrabble - Chuck Woolery wants to 'recrap' the scores.
We segue-way to Woolery discussing the Top Host
Bloopers #3 - Art James doing a live commercial for
Peter Pan Peanut butter, as he sticks a knife through
the jar. Oops.
After a Bob Barker calling out a contestant who is
acting too much, someone who matches John F. Kennedy
to a penny and calls it a 'Pennedy' and a Blankety
Blank (you know, that's what they call Match Game in
the UK) quip that features 'Sausage' written as 'Saugage',
we get a Family Feud montage that forces Richard
Dawson to stop asking questions. 'What Month do we
first get to see a woman pregnant?' 'September'. 'Name
a Yellow Fruit' 'Orange'. And of course, the clip of
an excitable woman squeezing Richard Dawson's...
assets.
Match Game - 'I just married the school teach and on
our honeymoon she gave me a _____' David Bosley -
'Oral Exam'
To Tell The Truth - You operate a multi-spindle
machine. What do you make?' Answer - '$2.68 an hour.'
Family Feud (Ray Combs) - 'Name something that women
borrow from each other.' Contestant - 'Their husbands'
Only 20 years ahead of his time.
Distraction UK - We get to see people hit buzzers -
placed in mousetraps.
Family Feud - 'Name part of a telephone' Answer - 'The
bottom part'
Match Game - 'Did you hear that Ronald McDonald has a
picture in Playgirl Magazine? That got a great shot of
his ______.' Contestant - Quarter Pounder. Bert - Big
Mac.
We get a montage of kids in Child's Play that cuss
(which is too long to recap here). After that, we get
more contestants to play a game! This one is beat the
clock, where one person is blowing up a balloon and
another person has to pop it using a pin, which is
embedded in a piece of cork. TO make it more fun, the
person holding the cork is blindfolded and the team
only has 45 seconds to get this done. The prize? A
package of Little Debbie Honeybuns! Ooooooh. The
couple attempts this stunt as we here the theme of the
2000's Beat the Clock in the background. Nice touch.
They complete the stunt in time and the couple decides
to share the honeybuns. AwwwwBarf.
Contestant screw up #2 - Chuck Woolery himself, as he
asks a obviously Jewish contestant what he got for
Christmas. He then asks what he got for Hanukkah.
Contestant - 'It hasn't happened yet'.
Blockbusters (UK) - What O is the generic word that
includes any living material. Right answer - '
Organism'. Contestant's Answer - 'Orgasm'.
Family Feud (Dawson) - This family is nuts. The first
person is asked to name an animal with 3 letters, and
we get 'Frog'. We need a brand of gas and we get
'Regular'. We need something that comes with a summer
storm and we get 'Snow'. His family teammate comes out
and we still need an animal with 3 letters. Richard -
'You can not and you do not want to duplicate any of
his answers.' Well, he doesn't duplicate it as we get
the animal answer of 'Alligator'.
Family Fortunes (UK) - Name an occasion or a place
where you will be noticed if you came late. Answer -
'Funeral' Ouch.
To Tell The Truth - The panel is given a dish of beef
stroganoff, which they dig in and eat. We get an 'Uh
Oh' from Bill Cullen when they find out that the beef
is coming from dog food. Gene Rayburn responds by
almost decking everyone with the stroganoff.
After we get an outed contestant in Distraction (UK)
and someone who wants nipple piercings (Whammy!), we
get this classic clip from the pilot of Match Game '90
(with Bert Convy hosting). The question - 'At the
Cannibal Halloween Party, they don't bob for apples,
they bob for _____.' Marsha Warfield's Answer?
'Boobs'. We get down to Gloria Loring, who fights with
Bert Convy to not show her answer. Bert wins the
fight, and the answer is... 'Balls'. The audience goes
nuts, and Brad Garrett clips that they will be having
a party at his place that night. Heh.
Screw-up #1 - The classic Match Game segment where
Gene, instead of saying she has nice dimples, says
that she has nice nipples! That gets riotous applause
- and that also ends the show as we fade out.
My take? Very entertaining. It would be better to have
more shows that aren't Fremantle, and it would be fun
to have reality shows, like American Idol bloopers,
but we could have those later on. Either way, this was
a lot of fun.
Do you mean we have a series of these shows? Yes we
do. Join us in 7 days to see the next episode of it.
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