Your Tan Is Totally
March 17 - Leg 5
PREVIOUSLY ON THE AMAZING RACE...after
a "gas 'n' go" PIT STOP, nine teams travelled from New
Zealand to Bali in Indonesia. Upon arrival, they let monkeys show
them the tasks they must partake in: scooping sand from a riverbed
and hauling it uphill or arranging fruit into a religious offering.
Jessica & John (Team Macklemore/Babe) tried one task before
switching to another...and that would make all the difference. In
the end, David & Connor (Team Ribbon Wearers) won their second
Leg in a row on three legs. And Jessica & John - through numerous
bad decisions - became the first-ever team to be Philiminated while
still holding an EXPRESS PASS. Eight teams remain in the race around
the globe for a million bucks...who will have to head home...NEXT?!
ULUWATU SURF BEACH
0501 LOCAL TIME
Here at the so-called "last paradise
on Earth", the father-and-son cancer survivors start off Leg
5 with this clue:
FLY TO HANOI,
Make your way to the airport
and then fly over 2000 miles to Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam.
Once you land, head for the center of the city and find Rap
Cong Nhan Theater. Enter Gallery 42 and find a painting with
the TAR colors where your next clue awaits.
CAUTION!! U-TURN AHEAD!!
During the PIT STOP, David called
his orthopedic surgeon back in the states, who recommended surgery
for his torn Achilles tendon with seven days. They're getting VERY
close to that threshhold...so they're seriously thinking of just
flying to Hanoi...and dropping out of the Race. Bad news for them...GOOD
news for the seven other teams, who depart the PIT STOP at these
Pam & Winnie (Team Scrappers):
Max & Katie (Team Honeymooners): 0525
Caroline & Jennifer (Team Cowboy Descendants): 0720
Joey & Meghan (Team Cute Activate!): 0906
Mona & Beth (Team Rollergames): 0912
Bates & Anthony (Team Goons): 0914
Chuck & Wynona (Team Roll Tide!): 0923
ABBEY TRAVEL AGENCY
DENPASAR, BALI, INDONESIA
0519 LOCAL TIME
Team Ribbon Wearers arrive at a travel
agency and ask for flights to Hanoi. They find that a flight that
connects through Singapore and arrives at 6pm. The next two teams
(who are well ahead of the rest of the pack) arrive to book the
same flight. And David & Conner announce to them that they WILL
get eliminated in Hanoi/ The teams are saddened by this...but are
also RELIEVED. Oh, and Max & Katie and Pam & Winnie vow
not to U-TURN each other when it comes to that. As
luck would have it, the three are the only teams on this flight.
As they take off, other teams look for later flights. There's another
connecting through Kuala Lampur that lands at 9:30pm in Vietnam.
Everyone else books that flight.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD...er, EVENING, VIETNAAAAAAM!
The first flight lands in the bustling Communist-run capital city
and two teams get cabs to the theater. They still haven't seen any
of the other teams...and they hope it stays that way..
RAP CONG NHAN THEATER
They get to the theater at 7:34pm...and
find that the Gallery closed at 6pm! ARRRRGH! That means EVERYONOE
will be at the Gallery when it opens at 9am!! So much for the lead.
They head to the Hotel des Artistes nearby and curl up on the carpet
in the lobby...and wait for everyone else. While there, Team Honeymooners
and Team Scrappers bond.
Sure enough, the other teams arrive
and get the skinny on the two missing teams: David & Connor
are in Singapore (they're really in Hanoi but they DON'T tell the
others that they will DQ themselves)...and John & Jessica are
gone. Max goes on a rant about how cocky and stupid John & Jessica
are for not using the EXPRESS PASS...and Meghan wants to PUNCH him.
VIETNAM NATIONAL MUSEUM OF HISTORY
(Yes, you're reading that right; the
next scene takes place at the PIT STOP)
The following morning, Phil and the
local greeter are waiting at the mat...and in comes David &
Connor. It's obvious to Phil that they have yet to perform any tasks
in Hanoi and, as such, cannot be checked-in. But David announces
that this is the end of their Race. He feels he's let his son down...but
Connor disagrees; his father is his hero and best friend. Phil makes
it official, eliminating them from the Race. But their heads are
held high, as they ran a strong couple of Legs...and they feel they
would've rather run four Legs with each other than win the million
bucks with anyone else.
So, with that out of the way, let's
get to the battle for first-through-next-to-last. At 7:30am, Caroline
& Jennifer and Pam & Winnie arrive at Gallery 42 and await
its opening. Together, they agree that the alliance of Team Rollergames
and Team Cute Activate! HAVE to be shot down at the U-TURN. When
the other teams sans those two arrive, they ALL agree to do so.
And they get AWFUL quiet when said two teams arrive. Joey &
Meghan and Mona & Beth (correctly) assess that they are targets.
At 9am, the teams file into the Gallery
and pick up this clue, their next:
TO TAKE IN THE SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF THE SOCIALIST REPUBLIC
One team member must enter
the theater and watch a performance of a patriotic Vietnamese
song. At the end, the performers will reveal a message, the
words of a celebrated quote. Memorize the quote (you may NOT
take notes of any manner) and then enter the gallery where
you must find the same words on one of many old political
posters. Performances run every five minutes after the previous
one ends and no one is allowed in or out of the theater during
the performance. When you think you've found the right poster,
take the poster and run it back into the theater to a judge.
If the judge verifies it as correct, he will hand you your
And your 'BLOCKers for this Leg are:
Jennifer, Meghan, Pam, Anthony, Beth, Katie and Chuck. All seven
enter the theater and watch the performance from the front row.
And...it's kind of a good thing no one speaks Vietnamese because...well,
the song is all about pride of being Socialists, to which I'm certain
at least one of the Americans would take exception (though I'm sure
the old Soviet Union flags being waved gave them a clue). But, this
isn't about politics; it's about Racing. The dancers come out and
show them the phrase: "VIHN QUANG THAY THE HE THANH NIEN CHUNG
TA" ("GLORY TO OUR YOUNG GENERATION"). After reading
about it, the seven Racers sprint out of the theater and towards
There were HUNDREDS of posters with
all sorts of messages on them. Many of them were CLOSE to the phrase...but
had one or maybe two consonants changed. Anthony tries first...but
the poster says "QUARS", not "QUANG". Next is
Jennifer...but hers is likewise wrong. Chuck's says "JHE"
instead of "THE", Meghan's says "JETSON instead of
"NIEN". Katie's being methodical. Pam, being a film art
director, has a good eye for details. She grabs a poster, brings
it in and, with other waiting behind her, gets the nod and the clue
from the judge! She runs to Winnie and, outside the theater, they
rip 'n' read their next clue:
SO YOU THINK
YOU CAN DANCE?
Make your way to Cong Vien
Thong Nhat and take part in the Mua Sapa, a Vietnamese
bamboo dance. When the dance is done, you will receive your
They are the only ones
to get it right before the five minutes expire so, as they leave,
the other six head back into the theater to watch the patriotic
song and dance again. But the alliance have a plan: Beth and Meghan
would each memorize half of the phrase and then work together to
find the right posters. So, when the performance ended, out they
sprinted. A minute later, it's Chuck who brings a poster...and gets
it right! He & Wynona leave in second...but followed CLOSELY
by Caroline & Jennifer as Jen got the right one. Katie gets
it right next and Max & she are on their tail. Meghan FOUND
the right poster...but sticks around to help Beth. However, the
bell rang for the next performance and she had to put the right
one back and watch the performance yet again.
At the end of the third
take, Meghan finds the right poster again and helps Beth. The two
of them run to the judge and get the thumbs up and the clue: Joey
& Meghan in 5th, Mona & Beth in 6th. But Anthony is RIGHT
behind the girls and gets it right, allowing Bates & he to leave
in last...but RIGHT behind the other teams.
CONG VIEN THONG
It took some time for
Team Scrappers to find where the dance is taking place...but they
finally follow the music to a row of schoolgirls kneeling in two
rows...and moving bamboo sticks apart and together in time to a
beat. Two dancers demonstrate how to step between the bamboo in
time. And the two "besties" enjoy the culture as they
follow in the footsteps. They get to the end and receive their next
MAKE YOUR MOVE
or MAKE YOUR MEAL
MAKE YOUR MOVE: Travel to
the Temple of Literature and set up a board of xiangqi
(or Chinese chess)...with HUMAN pieces. Using a pre-set chess
board as a guide, choose four pieces and then find four people
with markings of the same shape AND color as the pieces. Then
set those people at the right starting places on the large
chessboard before you, along with a giant staff for each player.
If you do this correctly, the chess-master will hand you your
MAKE YOUR MEAL: Head to the
Ngoc Son Temple and pick up two empty baskets and two baskets
full of live chickens. Then head through the bustling streets
of the Hoan Kiem District and, using the list of ingredients
included, purchase all the ingredients to make pho ga,
Vietnam's national dish. Once you buy all the ingredients
(in the correct amount), bring them to the cooking station
and have them weighed. The chef will show you how to make
the soup and you will follow suit. If the chef finds your
soup to be satisfactory, he'll hand you your next clue.
Well, DUH! Pam & Winnie
have played Chinese chess before so, obviously, they choose MAKE
YOUR MOVE. About five minutes later, the second group of teams arrive
and dance amid the bamboo. But Team Roll Tide! forget to hold hands
like the dancers did so they have to start from the beginning. Team
Honeymooners do like wise...but they LEARN from their mistake whereas
Chuck & Wynona do not. As such, Max & Katie hit the DETOUR
in second and decide to MAKE YOUR MEAL. Joey & Meghan arrive
and make quick work of the task and choose MOVE...while the married
'Bama couple screw-up again and again. More teams arrive and ace
the dance; Team Goons likewise choose MOVE, as does Team Rollergames.
Only THEN does Team Roll Tide! get their act together, hold hands
to dance and leave for MEAL in sixth.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand Team Cowboy
Descendants have a crappy cabbie and get lost. Eventually they arrive,
dance and enter the DETOUR in last, choosing to MAKE YOUR MOVE and
TEMPLE OF LITERATURE
Ah, a temple to Confucius.
How we've missed you. And here comes Pam & Winnie. The "pieces"
are in one courtyard while the board is in another. They decide
on four blue pieces close to each other. The staffs are easy to
place. Finding the right "pieces"...that's the tough part.
They figure out that the markings on each piece's uniform must coincide
with the pieces on the real chessboard...but Winnie doesn't think
COLOR matters so they grab two blue and two red pieces and bring
them to the board. The chess-master shakes her head...and Team Scrappers
NGOC SO TEMPLE
Meanwhile, at MAKE YOUR
MEAL, Max & Katie arrive, get their list and haul their baskets
into the district. One problem, though; the list of ingredients
was in English...and none of the vendors can READ or SPEAK English.
Fortunately, they run across someone who DOES and ask for her help.
After that, things get fairly easy and Team Honeymooners start to
have a little fun.
Oh, so it's the COLORS!
Pam & Winnie figure it out and head back into the pieces' courtyard...just
as other teams start to show up. So it's a good thing they grabbed
the other two blue pieces and got the nod from the chess-masster.
They leave in first with this clue:.
Make your way to the B-52
Memorial, site of a B-52 bomber shot down during the Vietnam
War at Huu Tiep Lake. Search the grounds for your next clue.
As they hope for a U-TURN
while leaving, the other teams work out what they have to do.
Back at MEAL, Max &
Katie get all their ingredients and head for the nearby cooking
station to get said ingredients weighed. But there was an error
in the chili peppers and the basil. So as they head back into the
crowd to try to get more, Chuck & Wynona show up at the temple.
they get the list and the empty baskets...but Chuck thinks the chickens
can be left behind. (I'm telling ya, they are doing NOTHING to bunk
the "rednecks is dumb" stereotype today!) And THEN they
go the wrong WAY to the market...AND Wynona's scared of getting
run over in the street! They finally find a rickshaw driver who
brings them to the market (no idea if that's against Da Rules of
Da Race...but we'll see)
Don't ask WHY the people
of Hanoi have left an "enemy" bomber in the middle of
a small lake. Ask what Team Scrappers will do once they ARRIVE at
said bomber and find this:.
A DOUBLE U-TURN forces two
different teams to do BOTH parts of a DETOUR instead of one
or the other. Teams may be U-TURNed more than once during
a Race, but may only UTILIZE a U-TURN once. Normally, a team
using a U-TURN must use the touchscreen interface to put two
pictures up: one for the team they are U-TURNing, and their
own so that said team knows who U-TURNed them. But, since
this is a BLIND U-TURN, the team will only show who they're
U-TURNing, leaving the giver a secret.
As per the plan, Pam &
Winnie use it.
With that out of the way,
they get this important clue:
MAKE YOUR WAY
TO THE NEXT PIT STOP!
Head for the grounds of the
Vietnam National Museum of History, built in a colonial French
building and the PIT STOP for this Leg of the Race.
WARNING! The last team to
check-in MAY BE ELIMINATED!
The two friends head for
the prize while the teams at MOVE get their pieces in place and
the teams at MEAL get their goods in order. Well, Max & Katie
do, anyway. Team Roll Tide! have the language barrier to deal with.
They start to wonder if they should do MOVE instead.
Speaking of, you wouldn't
think that hockey players would be good at chess...but Team Goons
proves you wrong. They are the second to leave the DETOUR. Meanwhile,
the other two all-female teams have NO clue what they're doing,
allowing for Joey & Meghan to pass right by them and head for
their fate in third...for now, anyway.
Team Honeymooners get
the right amounts of ingredients and FINALLY get to cooking. Max
says he can now enter a Vietnamese restaurant, order the pho
ga and say, "Eh,...I made better in Hanoi."
The chef seems to like it enough; he allows the team to depart the
DETOUR in fourth. Meanwhile, Chuck & Wynona (thanks to Chuck's
stubborness) is WAY behind.
VIETNAM NATIONAL MUSEUM OF HISTORY
We saw them earlier Philiminating
a team...now Phil and the greeter are ready to crown a Leg winner.
And, of course, it's Pam & Winnie who are Team # 1! And they
are headed (thanks to Travelocity) to Whistler, Canada for skiing,
snowboarding, a glacier helicopter ride and even a sleigh ride.
Guess they'll find out once and for all "oh what fun it is
to ride", eh? They refuse to act confindent, though; they heard
what happened to John when that happened.
Team Cute Activate! are
second to the U-TURN...and the first TO be U-TURNed on this Race.
They are NOT happy about this at all. BUT...Da Rules state that
a team can USE a U-TURN before having to do THEIRS. Even though
it hurts, they want to stay in the Race...so they do it:
At least they have a chance
to stay ahead of ONE team as they about-face and head for MAKE YOUR
Maybe more than one...because
Teams Cowboy Descendants and Rollergames are STILL not sure what
to do! Caroline & Jennifer start to move the OTHER "pieces"
thinking they have to PLAY the chess-master. (And THEY are doing
nothing to debunk "blondes are dumb" myth.) Mona &
Beth work it out, though. They put the right pieces in the right
places and leave the DETOUR in 4th. Caroline & Jennifer FINALLY
get their act together and move their own pieces to the right places...and
leave in fifth.
A few teams hit the U-TURN
and find that a) they are safe and b) they don't have to use their
own. So...to the PIT STOP they go.
THERE's the market. Team
Roll Tide! quickly gathers their ingredients and goes to get them
weighed...just as Joey & Meghan arrive for their U-TURN. When
they head for the market, the keepers recognize that THESE Americans
want exactly what the OTHER Americans wanted...so they waste little
time getting the ingredients together.
Max & Katie check-in
as Team # 2...Mona & Beth as Team # 3...Bates & Anthony
as # 4...and Caroline & Jennifer as # 5. So it's a battle for
More bean sprouts are
needed for Chuck & Wynona...and more of EVERYTHING is needed
for Team Cute Activate! Obviouslty the vendors screwed up majorly
for them. But Wynona also realized that the other teams have the
chickens and...they DON'T. So back the dumb clucks go to get those
dumber clucks! As they do so, Joey & Meghan get the ingredients
on their own and get it right. They make the soup, get the nod from
the chef and race back to the B-52 memorial...while Team Roll Tide!
starts cooking themselves.
Team Cute Activate!'s
cabbie gets them lost...and Team Roll Tide! gets the nod and the
clue. They both get to the bomber within minutes of each other...and
it's heart-breaking for Chuck & Wynona when they see the U-TURN
with their mugs on it. So...they trudge off to play some chess,
certain they're dead meat. Joey & Meghan are checked-in as Team
# 6. But Meghan is "a huge ball of fiery righteousness"...and
the team agrees that it's "no more Mr. and Ms. Nice Guys!"
Four chess pieces in place
later and Chuck & Wynona bring it in. Phil gives them the bad
news: they are the last team to arrive.
Wynona feels so weak...but
Chuck is still proud of her.
Then Phil says, "Dave
& Connor had to withdraw from the Race which means...you are
officially, Team # 7!"
Tears of joy! They promise
to start fresh in the next Leg!
(OK, Vietnam Socialist
Boys Choir, take us out!)
AFTER LEG 5:
BALI, INDONESIA to HANOI, VIETNAM
1) Pam & Winnie
(+1) - Canada
2) Max & Katie (+1)
3) Mona & Beth (+3)
4) Bates & Anthony** - London (+3)
5) Caroline & Jennifer (-1)
6) Joey & Meghan (+1)
7) Chuck**** & Wynona (+1)
ELIMINATED IN 8th) David & Connor - EXPRESS PASS [gifted,
used], Bangkok, $10G (-7)
ELIMINATED IN 9th) Jessica & John - EXPRESS PASS [unused]
ELIMINATED IN 10th) Idries & Jamil
ELIMINATED IN 11th) Matt & Daniel
* = One ROADBLOCK
more than partner
BIGGEST IMPROVEMENT IN LEG: Mona & Beth and Bates &
BIGGEST DROP IN LEG: David & Connor
To see this episode in
its entirety, or to apply to be a contestant on "The Amazing Race",
visit the official website at