"Round of 3:
Judge's Choice" - May 17-19
We're down to the final
three, and you know what that means... You can only go
so far on your own power, so that's what this round is
all about. Going so far on your own power... with
someone else's assignment. And who better to sit in with
the judges than Clive Davis, head of Sony BMG Music. He
will produce and the label will release the winner's
single in two weeks, so you better come with it this
week. First, though, fresh from a hometown stay are the
final three! And helping me out today.. my two siblings:
Quisla and
D'angelo.
Tonight, three
performances. First song, their choice. Second song,
judges' choice. Third song, Clive's choice. Not in that
order. First up, it's Clive's picks.
First up, Clive picks
"I'll Never Love This Way Again" for Vonzell Solomon.
What they say: Clive
notes that she hit the notes great, but warns her about
giving false emotion to true pain. "The song is about
holding onto passion, fearing you'll never love this way
again. So no smiles." Randy thought it was pitchy and
tough to sing. Paula thought her range was beautiful,
but the start was failing. Simon calls her nerves, and
said that she has to do two better songs.
What we say: It's a bit
pitchy to start, but again, she comes into her own.
But the performance is kinda confusing. She's talking
about loss, and she's
smiling. But it sounds good. "The
song sucks and the dress is horrific. But she's doing a
good job with it. But it's like turning nothing into
something, I'm not expecting much."
Next, Clive gives Bo
"Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me"
What they say: Clive
calls it "heartfelt". "You made Elton John & Bernie
Taupin proud." Randy gives Bo lifetime membership in the
dawg pound. Paula says "Pure brilliance." Simon prefers
this to the rock thing. "You come in this week favorite
to go through and after that, I think we're going to see
you next week."
What we say: I wish Bo
would come up with another move for the mic. You're
holding on for dear life, and there's so much you can do
with it. Twirl it or something. That said, this is no
longer an Elton John song. This is a Bo Bice song. Very
good. And wait... the Mic Messiah. THAT's the move I was
looking for! Coining a phrase from last year... "Write a
letter to Clive
Davis saying 'thank you very much for booking me a spot
in the final.'"
Now, Clive gives Carrie
"Crying." Let's hope she isn't crying after this...
What they say: Clive
thinks it was strong, but would've loved more spark.
Randy called it perfect. Paula called it haunting,
subdued, and nice. Simon wanted a little more stripped
down, calling the performance wooden. Round 1 goes to
Bo.
What we say: Weak to
start. Rigid to finish. And no range whatsoever.
"I
think that was a death sentence."
"kd lang did a better job."
"Towards the
end, she kinda sounded tired." I think all the
judges are deaf, dumb, and
blind. "They're trying to pimp
her."
Round 1 goes to Bo,
hands down. Vonzell chooses "Chain of Fools" for
herself.
What they say: Clive
says she has a good voice, but missed the soulful
essence of the song. Randy thought it was one of the
best. "That was what this show is about." Paula says
that she nailed it. Simon says that she had the
likability factor, saying that the vocals didn't matter
as much.
What we say: Classic Vonzell. Good job. Cash money,
baby.
Next, Bo chooses... and
he's singing "In a Dream" WITHOUT the band.
What they say: Clive
says "It was indeed bold, very crazy. I'm going to make
a prediction: we are going to have a great time making a
very special album." Randy liked that it reminded him of
the original audition. "It was courageous and it was
unbelievable." Paula calls Bo a gift on the inside.
Simon? "You may have just put 34 musicians out of work."
What we say:
"Bo Bice goes against a vandal
unarmed. My opinion... Suicide." My opinion: he
doesn't NEED a band. "No one is
ever so good that the band took AWAY from it."
Don't tell that to Simon last week. kinda reminds me of
a good live performance of the national anthem. That was
phenomenal. It's great for Bo to return truly to this
roots.
Carrie chooses "Makin'
Love (Out of Nothin' At All)".
What they say: Clive
says that she threw herself into it. Randy says that she
can definitely sing. Paula calls it unbelievable. Simon
says that she sang the first song better. "You may have
pushed that song a little."
What we say: Were you
saving all your energy for that performance? Because it
sure felt like it. Not to say that that was a good thing
at long last. I mean, there's a time and a place for an
energetic performance, and you got NEITHER right.
Hard to follow Bo, I
know. Now to the final judges' choice.. Simon chose "On
the Radio" by Donna Summer.
What they say: Clive
says that she was totally in her element. Randy enjoyed
it. Paula seconds it. Simon seconds... Clive.
What we say: Camera
schmooze (*drinks*). Simon did Baby V right on this one.
Reverb.... Good job. Totally in her element.
Paula had Bo. She picks
"Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones.
What they say: Clive:
"Tonight, you've taken three totally different songs;
you made each one your own. Tonight, this has been your
night." Randy feels like he's at the Bo show. Paula:
"One more week, everyone gets one more week for free,
then you're going to have to pay." Simon says that he's
heard this before at weddings, calling it light fluff.
What we say: Another new
mic move! And I'm getting a Gordongram here...
(Gordongram: Tonight has
been the coronation of Bo.)
Yeah, mix it up, dude...
"He's won. He's so in."
Dude... Welcome to the Kodak. Have a Fruit Roll-Up. Will
you please be our leader? "And
hell, even if Bo DOES get the boot (and I couldn't
understand WHY), I wouldn't be surprised if Clive Davis
signed you and your mic stand anyway." And the
ATGS salute to cap it. Yeah, I know who I'M voting for.
And finally, Randy
chooses Carrie's song as... "Man! I Feel Like a Woman."
What they say: Clive
calls country pop her element. "You really nailed it."
Randy is happy to see her have fun. Paula agrees. Simon
thought it was "enough to get her to the final."
What we say: I do agree
with my sister (who has correctly predicted the
winner ever since Kelly Clarkson) that Shania Twain did
a better job, I'm far less forgiving. In fact, my
opinion can be best described by the blurb currently up
at votefortheworst.com. If allowed, let me transcribe.
"Carrie Underwood can
sing country all right, but give her anything else and
it becomes obvious that she's not that talented. Her
wooden dance moves, lack of stage presence, and overall
terrified looks on stage are that of a contestant who
barely has the full package that Simon Cowell wants us
to believe Carrie possesses. If Carrie was on "Nashville
Star", they would have booted her ass off the second
they realized what a one-trick pony she is. "Love is a
Battlefield" was terrible with a reminder of Carmen
Rasmussen's sheep like vibrato, "If You Don't Know Me By
Now" was a trainwreck, and that's just the tip of the
iceberg. Take away the twang, and you've got something
pretty terrifying."
Basically put, to coin
another phrase from last season... IT HAS TO END
TONIGHT. Checotah, you can have her.
Final judgment: Bo has a
one-way ticket to the top, while Vonzell and Carrie will
have to spar for the second spot. Vonzell has two good
weapons on her. Carrie has but one. Carrie fans are
pretty much assured that the one is enough, but what
about the rest of us? You know the vote was, between
first and third, split with one percent. Every vote will
count, and tomorrow, every vote will be counted. And the
trips to the Kodak will be finalized.
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