February 27, 2005

Jason: Wasn't that the name of it in Season 3?
Chico: Sounds like a reality show that we would come up with... "You're Flushed."
Don: lol
Gordon: (Slaps the WLTI table and points in a gun motion)..."You're Flushed"
Chico: *sound effect* Welcome back. Please wash your hands after using the break. Thank you. Our good friend Travis Eberle joins us as we look at the clock and... It's time to visit the doctor. Gordon... your papaya hat.
Gordon: (Puts on Papaya Hat) Thank you, thank you. While my real-life counterpart gets to ogle Paula Abdul, I'll be ogling some letters.
Jason: You also get ching from match.com
Gordon:  I do. Very ching ching and some bling bling.
Chico: Pick up the phone got some money coming in... Money comin' in... Money comin' in...I've got a letter here...
Gordon: What do we have for me?
Chico: Your first letter, sir...

Gordon: Hi, Janet in Houston. First of all, we have to go to the situation on how the newspaper found out about it. That reason, I'm afraid, is because someone in your family had very loose lips... Lips sink ships, and in this case, this ship happens to be stunt sweeps. Family Feud should be upset with you, and rightfully so. I'm hoping you did not sign a 5 million dollar non-disclosure
agreement, because it would be time for someone to collect. In the meanwhile, lay low and don't answer the door if someone that looks like Richard Karn is a-knocking. An even better idea is to take a vacation and go looking for those same caves that Jennifer Lopez was hiding in when she was trying to escape the anacondas. Signed, Dr. Pepper.
Chico: Didn't Jennifer Lopez die in that one?
Gordon: No, but her acting career may have.
Jason: A letter just came to me, if the Good Doctor is ready.
Gordon: I am ready.

Travis: <boo>... :-)
Gordon: Hello Kiebler Elf. From what I've seen of you, you are one hot cookie. Unfortunately, the other elves can sometimes mislead you, as they are stunned by your golden crust. Dancing With the Stars could be a delicious opening, but it could also lead to you going the way of the Caruso Cracker. So what to do? I would follow the lead of your fellow Elf D.J. Fudge, who made a nice niche for himself in the movie business while still maintaining a cookie cutter job so I would say the same thing for you, because you don't want to try to set a new brand for yourself and wind up with only crumbs, and you don't want me to end your story with 'That's the way the cookie crumbles'. Signed, Dr. Pepper.
Don: I think I'm hungry now...
Chico: Me too..
Jason: Don...any letters for the doctors.
Don: As a matter of fact, I happen to have one.

Gordon: Hi B.G. Let's look at your history. The first version of you was a game where you had to balance up to 5 products (with a 5 dollar leeway). The new version of you is that you had to put in money amounts to match the price of a prize. Quite frankly, I think that the games are completely different and that the only thing they have in common is the use of a scale. I don't think the problem is a crisis of identity as much as I think that you have a natural imbalance problem. I think the best thing I can do is to give you some nice vitamins, which you can get at...
Chico: *airhorns while Gordon says stuff*
Gordon: ... By the way, did I mention that that's where I go to get my vitamin supplements, protein shakes and other work out products? Well, now you know. And hey, what do you know? I got a plug in!
Chico: Good for you...
Gordon: Well, that's what Dr. Phil does.
Chico: Heh.. Next letter?
Travis: I have it. Found whilst snooping around the vault deep underneath NBC Studios.

Chico: Heh.
Gordon: Hi SSJ, and thanks for the soda plug. Let's me answer the questions. I think the show is compelling enough to watch once - or even twice a week. My concern is that the wackos at NBC will be tempted to run this thing into the ground. You're actually better off if the return only gives 'good' ratings, and not powerhouse ones, so that NBC will calm down and nurture the show. Unfortunately, based on what the Olympics have - or should I say, haven't - done, they may be getting desperate, which leads into the next question. I absolutely agree that there should only be 25% of the board with 'high' values, because like the people who ran '21' found out, the public doesn't care if one win makes you a millionaire - you have to earn it. What network was 21 on again? Oh yes, NBC. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. Signed, Dr. Pepper.
Jason: Do we have time for more letters?
Chico: Of course!
Jason: I have one more.

Gordon: Hi Larry. Thanks for the e-mail. You actually should be a proud. You are the only South American animal that is talked about on a daily basis by us hard core game show freaks. Do we talk about Alpacas? No. Bolivian Mountain Snakes? No. Two-toed monkeys? No. We talk about you! Congratulations! There is only one down side to this, though - I am sure that a couple of misguided
people still think that you were used by Hannibal to cross the Alps. There's only one way for you to deal with this situation...sue. You need to sue Millionaire and demand that you get a 30 minute documentary to air in Millionaire's time slot about the values of the llama and how you're better than just an icon for stupid Millionaire contestants. But you should be proud and bray with pride!
Wait a sec...llamas don't bray, do they?
Chico: No Gordon, they don't. I've got one more letter here...
Gordon: You realize that at least one answer that I give is to sue someone? What sort of world have we evolved into?
Chico: I have no idea... Anyway...

Gordon: Well yes, but it's not because you have done all of these things. It's because you've NEVER done anything on a game show...ever. Bad, Danny! Very Bad! Your penance is to get some game show experience under your belt. Unfortunately, the only celebrity stuff going on in the U.S. is The Surreal Life or Celebrity Fit Club, so you're going to have to go to the UK to maybe be in the next Big Brother or 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here'...Did you know that the show is nominated for a Rose D'Or award? Maybe you can finally be in something with class instead of some junky overhyped bad Jumanji remake of a movie. Signed, Dr. Pepper. Is that it with the mail?
Chico: Thank you. That's it. You can ogle the final two women now. Dr. Stark... Ew, I feel dirty saying that...
Gordon: ogling away.
Chico: Meanwhile, we've got a break. We'll be back with WLTI's Vs. after this...
Gordon: This is the big ogl.. I mean show.

(Brought to you by Dr. Pepper. Not the official drink of WLTI, but nevertheless smooth, refreshing, and can beat Mr. Pibb in poker and take away all its money.)

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