January 23, 2005

Chico: Please drink responsibly.
Gordon: urp.
Chico: I said please drink responsibly, dammit!
Joe: *singing* Cooking is so fun....cooking is so fun.....now it's time to take a break and see what we have done.
Chico: Welcome back to WLTI, where Gordon is putting his thinking cap on. Aren't you, Gordon?
Gordon: I am...ahhhh...nice fit. So let's start the game that everyone except me has a chance of winning - Categories!
Jason: whoo hoo
Joe: You may have to exclude me from "everybody", Gordon.
Gordon: So this will be really Mike Vs. Jason, with Joe and I featured as the comedy. What are the Categories for today, Chico?
Chico: Today's Categories are....

Chico: Remember, person with the most points will have free reign to speak out on a game show topic of his choosing. Gordon, you choose first.
Gordon: We'll go with A MARK GOODSON/BILL TODMAN REPRODUCTION.
Chico: Okay, you've heard games passed around for "Game Show Marathon" include The Price is Right, Match Game, and What's My Line?... They said they would have six, though. Choose the remaining three.
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: Can I only pick Goodson/Todman games?
Chico: Well, FremantleMedia games which does encompass the GT library.
Gordon: I think if you want nostalgia and ratings, you have to go with Press Your Luck (Whammy), Card Sharks and Family Feud.
Chico: Jason?
Jason: I think you choose Tattletales, TTTT, and Now You See It.
Chico: Mike?
Mike: Card Sharks, Sale of the Century (that's for Joe Van Ginkel) and Password, Super, Plus, or otherwise.
Chico: Joe?
Joe: Well, for the classics, I'd do Card Sharks and Whammy (or PYL). And because it makes for such good TV, I'd also have to throw in Distraction.
Chico: Okay, if we're going for familiarity, I said... Family Feud, Press Your Luck, and Password... So the scores are...

Joe: Hey, I'm beating the Block!
Jason: Not for long, Rookie.
Mike: Oh, it's on now.
Chico: YEAH! Your board, Gordon?
Gordon: THINGS TO ASK YOUR DATE AFTER YOUR THIRD MARTINI.
Chico: Okay, we've had worse things that you'd do on reality-dating shows. Which one currently airing is the drunkest?
Gordon: huh?
Chico: As in, it makes the most use of alcohol-induced antics. Gordon?
Gordon: I have to go with The Bachelor. No food + Lots of Booze = Rotten Egg Speeches and Web Sites full of merchandising
Chico: Mike? Oh, Gordon, say "Merchandising" again a la Mel Brooks...
Mike: I will go with Next. But that might be more drug-induced
Chico: Joe?
Joe: I have to agree with Gordon. Any show that gives us the Ho of the Week must be doing something inebriatedly.
Jason: You are all so horribly wrong.
Chico: Jason, the right answer, please..
Jason: It's Flavor of Love.
Chico: YES! We have not seen hangovers on any other show!
Jason: When the first episode shows a woman vomiting into a garbage bucket .
Chico: Point to Jason!
Jason: And other woman holding her head so her weave won't get nasty. That is drunk.

Chico: Jason, it's your board.
Jason: Take that rookie and smoke it.
Joe: I feel about that question like Mike Matusow felt playing Roulette .
Jason: YOU HAD ME AT CLICK.
Chico: Before Ryan Seacrest was the most powerful man in America, he was a humble game show host. Your favorite pre-Idol show of his? Jason?
Jason: Wow.
Chico: You have like a one-in-three chance at this.
Jason: I did like his Click show. It was a good kids show. So I will say Click.
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: Click was a good show. Gladiators 2000 was the show that showed me that he could actually be good at this. I'll say that.
Chico: Mike?
Mike: Wild Animal Games. He worked with wildlife, including our good friend Randy West. And you know what they say about working with animals.
Chico: The animals or Randy West?
Mike: A little bit of column A and a little bit of column B.
Joe: You could say he still is working with animals....
Jason: Randy West is an animal :-)
Chico: That is true. Joe?
Joe: Oh crud, this is tough. Gladiators 2000 holds a soft spot in my heart, but Click is Merv Griffin-approved, so I'd have to say Click.
Chico: Joe and Jason score. Click is a good show, Seacrest was good on it, and it lasted more than a season.
Jason: high five.

Joe: Woo! Incidentally, G2K also had 2 seasons, I think
Chico: Really.. I thought they were just the same 13 episodes all over again.
Mike: I was never any good at scoring.
Gordon: That's what the models on Deal or No Deal told me, Mike.
Chico: Hiyooooo.
Mike: The low blow from the munchkin.
Chico: This is getting ugly. Better press on. Joe, your board.
Joe: CATCH THIS PHRASE, onegai shimasu.
Gordon: I would just like to point out that I am taller than Chico.
Chico: Not really.
Gordon: yeah really
Chico: You're about the same height as I am.
Gordon: You had those big boots on.
Mike: And I tower over all of you midgets. Power to the tall!
Chico: Okay, Catch this Phrase.... The question... Who should host the upcoming "Catchphrase"? Joe?
Joe: Well, from the limited amount I've seen, any stiff would seem to suffice, but I'm all for Mark Walberg.
Chico: Jason?
Jason: Two Words: Todd. Newton.
Chico: Mike?
Mike: Sure, why not? Todd Newton.
Chico: Gordon?
Joe: I feel so unloved.
Gordon: The answer you're looking for is probably Todd Newton, but let's really look. You need someone with a good sense of improv who can be funny on the turn of a dime and who can be suggestive. Two people come to mind - Frank Nicotero or Mark DeCarlo.
Chico: I need an answer.
Gordon: Frank Nicotero
Jason: Good choice.
Chico: You're all wrong. Bill Cullen :-) Okay... I was thinking Todd Newton, but I will also give a bonus point to Gordon, because Frank Nicotero hadn't entered my mind.

Chico: And if Frank is reading, I'm sorry... If you're at GSC5, I shall buy drinks. Still an even match. Mike, your board.
Joe: I thought Gordon was supposed to suck at this game.
Gordon: Game's not over yet.
Mike: The Feud of the Century.
Chico: So did I. Apparently he did his research.
Jason: He sucks at Bowling, but not at this.
Joe: But Can He Sing?
Mike: NO, HE CAN'T.
Joe: Sorry, couldn't help it.
Chico: Who would you rather have host the Feud: new UK host Vernon Kay (who we remember as host of "Hit Me Baby One More Time") or old Feud host Louie Anderson? Gordon?
Gordon: I can't go off the board, can I?
Chico: Judges *ding* I'll allow it.
Gordon: I would go for a UK host - but the host that I would want it Jimmy
Carr. Jimmy is the most suggestive guy around and he loves to drill you for a bad answer. Perfect cutting choice for the show.
Chico: Joe?
Joe: Well, Carr sounds good in theory, but he seems a little too sardonic for the job. I'll stay on the board and, that having seen Louie and not Kay, I'd have to pick Kay by default.
Chico: Mike?
Mike: I'm going way way waaaaaaaay off the board. I'd rather have a screeching falcon host the Feud over those two. I like Jimmy Carr too, but I think he's a little over-the-top for Feud.
Chico: Jason?
Jason: Vernon Kay. He is less annoying.
Joe: I hope the answer wasn't Graham Norton
Chico: The correct answer... ANYONE but Louie Anderson.
Mike: I'm hoping the screeching falcon 5000:1 longshot is right.

Joe: Even Richard Karn?!
Chico: Even Richard Karn. "If that's there, I'll give you $20,000." Final question in THIS CATEGORY IS BORDERING ON COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. This will decide it.
Joe: What it will decide can be left to the imagination
Chico: There were three published things going against Skating with Celebrities. Name them. Gordon, you have four. All three will give you seven..
Gordon: I'll have to go with being a clone of Dancing With the Stars, Possibly losing their announcer to the real Winter Olympics, and having people with no skating experience in this competition (Todd Bridges??!! Wha?)
Chico: Jason, you have 4. All three will give YOU seven.
Jason: A clone of Dancing with the Stars, having Fox rip it off, and having the untalented pass further than they should.
Chico: Mike, you have 3. Three will give you 6.
Mike: The "celebrities" were last famous 15 years ago, FOX is desperate for any sort of ratings not from 24 or Idol, and ice skating?! What were they thinking?
Chico: Joe, see Mike's situation.
Joe: Okay, this may take a bit of typing. 1) "But Can They Sing" proved that Celebrity Talent shows suck when they aren't taken seriously, and this isn't something to be taken seriously 2) We have the situation with Scott Hamilton (I think) who's probably getting pulled from Turin because of his co-hosting duties and 3) as stated in a previous article FOX has gone so bats(^_^) insane aping people that it's gotten to the point were the product isn't even worth paying attention to.
Chico: Okay... according to the Dallas Star-Telegram, this is the correct answer: 1) It's called "Skating with Celebrities". 2) It premiered against "Lost". 3) It's an ape of "Dancing with the Stars". Final scores...

Jason: And as usual Gordon and I tie. :-)
Joe: Who cares about the Star-Telegram? Dallas Morning News FTW
Chico: FTW?
Joe: For the Win.
Mike: Aww, I thought I earned a point there. I'll get the coffee and slippers for the winner...
Jason: So do we have a tiebreaker?
Gordon: Have we ever not finished in a tie, Jason?
Chico: No, but it was never for the win.
Joe: SUDDEN DEATH!
Chico: The Tiebreaking Question:

I just watched an episode of Cash Cab. How much money was given away?

Jason: $1500.
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: $1,499.
Jason: TPIR Ho :-)
Joe: Ohhhhhhhh snap!
Mike: I think Jason got it.
Chico: Correct: $1425. Gordon wins!
Mike: Whoooooooa.
Gordon: I won something? Wow.
Joe: *Final Fantasy victory theme*
Mike: I thought Gordon's supposed to suck. At this game. :-)
Chico: So did I...I don't know what happened...
Joe: People told me that, too
Chico: Okay... Gordon, you have the floor.. Rant away, but be quick about it.
Mike: Gordon has the floor every Saturday. Let the rook speak!
Jason: Mike he earned it.
Mike: True...
Joe: I'm proud with my 2nd (or 3rd) place finish.
Gordon: I would like to say that we are all tired of shows that require c-level celebrities to get an extra 15 minutes of fame. Let's have competitions that will get them off of our set. I propose the emboweling with the stars / vacation to the Bermuda Triangle with the stars 2 hour of power. Thank you.
Chico: Right! We have a commercial. We'll be back.

(Brought to you by American Idol's I've Got a Secret. All of these Idolers have secrets that have gotten on their rap sheets. An All-Gay Panel featuring Billy Bean has to figure out what they are).

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