"Style" - June 2
expects the himbos to look good while trying to please
her. She feels that they lack style and fashion sense.
The men will be receiving professional makeovers. The
men sit around the table after they hear the news.
John (who is a doofus) says that he will not cut his
hair. He doesnt care if they paint his toenails pink,
put on mascara or make-up, he just doesnt want his
Austen, showing more wit and intelligence than I
thought possible, says that Ricardo and Slavko are
late because they were stuck in the bathroom trying to
lick their reflections off the mirror.
Jerry says that she lives in a fishbowl and has to
always be aware of how she looks. She has to have the
best of everything, expensive jewelry and designer
clothes. Imagine is everything and the himbos have a
way to go.
The men are sent to John Carnes Salon, where only the
Whos Who of London are allowed admittance. Jerry
shows up to direct the makeovers with her friend
Rachel Fuller (Pete Townsends girlfriend). Jerry goes
down the line of men and points out what is needed.
(Maurizio has dandruff). Jerry looks at Slavko and
asks if he is wearing makeup, but he says no. (Jerry
says in her fake accenty voice, Darling, he was
wearing more make-up than I was.) Jerry says that all
men with hair on their backs must have it removed.
Mike has hobbit feet and has all of the hair waxed
off. John apparently has been shaving his back Well,
actually his dad does it for him, since he cant reach
(You heard right; his father shaves his back How
pathetic!). Frank has his eyebrows waxed. He says that
he would rather be punched in the face than have his
eyebrows waxed again.
Jerry and her friends consult with Johns stylist
about his hair. He says that he is going for a surfer
boy look (Unfortunately, though, Johnny dont surf).
Jerry says that his hair is a bit Elvis, Darling,
Elvis in his bad phase and tells him that he needs a
very short haircut. After Jerry and Rachel leave, John
refuses to get his hair cut. Jerry returns and talks
to him about being a naughty boy. John says that he
is being a diva, Jerry says that she is the only diva
allowed on the show. John finally relents and gets his
hair cut short.
Jerry sends the men to Esprit (which is less
female-oriented in Europe than in the US) to get new
wardrobes. Jason says that he didnt get too much
advice because Ricardo was monopolizing the stylists
time. Jon complains that all of the clothes are too
big for him. Seth tries on a purple striped shirt and
says that purple is nice, if you are Donny Osmond.
The men return home. Ricardo and Slavko talk about the
5% club and the 95% club. They consider themselves
the 5% men, men who are better than all the rest of
the men in the world, while the rest of the guys are
in the 95% men, average guys. They figure that they
will be the last two men standing in the competition
(which means that they wont be).
Jerry sends the men to the London College of Fashion
where they will learn to walk the catwalk at a fashion
show. Jerry says that the fashion show will test the
himbos ability to show grace under pressure. She
needs a man who will complement her and blend into her
life and not be fodder for the tabloids. (Oh yeah, I
really believe that the Jerry Hall is really going to
hang out with whatever guy she chooses for a year
First the men go to catwalk college where they learn
to walk. (I kept expecting to hear the 90s band Right
Said Fred and their Im too sexy for my shirt song,
but no such luck.) Frank says that theres no way they
will be able to teach a short, stocky man like him to
walk the catwalk. Jason says that this activity was
tailor made for Ricardo and Slavko since every day
they do primping and prepping for fashion shows around
the house. Mike and John are told that since they have
disabilities i.e. they are short, they are really
going to have to work to sell themselves on the
catwalk. Slavko says that John looks like a monkey on
The men get their hair and make-up redone for the
fashion show. Then the men are given three outfits to
wear. Jerry and fashion designer Vivienne Westwood
shows up to help judge. As the men walk down the
aisle, Jerry hoots, hollers and makes comments at
them. The men show up first in suits, then wear
Vivienne Westwood designs, which are more avant garde.
Anwar gets stuck wearing a skirt; Devonric, pink silk
shorts; Austen an outfit that looks like Huckleberry
Finn; while John steals the show in his midget
gladiator garb. The men are surprised with an
unexpected fourth outfit to model, which is only some
Calvin Klein jockey shorts underwear. Maurizio accuses
Anwar of stuffing his underwear. Seth thinks that he
was given underwear that was too big because he says
that he looked as though he was hung like a light
switch out there.
At the end of the fashion show, Anwar throws a lily at
Jerry. He says its to let her know that he would go
in his speedo or butt naked to keep her happy.
(Isnt it buck naked?)
After the fashion show, Jerry throws a VIP party.
Jerrys agent is so impressed with Austen that she
gives him her business card. Seth went directly to the
bar because he felt so uncomfortable with the
modeling. Jerry goes up to the men and tells them how
proud she was of each of them.
Then the bitch, Katy shows up (without her motorcycle)
and the himbos penises shrink noticeably. Jerry
discusses the men and says the Ricardo is really vain.
Seth drinks too much and she doesnt get Johns nipple
Katy says that Jerry has made a decision and carries a
clipboard with names on it. As each mans name is
called, they are allowed to pass the guards and go
through the velvet rope. If they arent on the list,
well You Cant Always Get What You Want.
Katy hands the clipboard to Chris (an exceedingly tall
and thick black man who speaks in a basso profundo
English accent), who starts reading names of the men
who can stay: Anwar, Jason, Austen, Devonric, Slavko,
Seth, Ricardo, John, Maurizio, and Frank. Mikes name
is not called and he must leave. Jerry says that Mike
was always nervous and reminded her of a chihuahua dog
on the 4th of July. Mike says that he is not
disappointed because he gave 150% (showing that he
has little understanding of math) but he is thankful
for the opportunity.
Next Week: Ricardo is bitchy and Jerry makes them men
learn about art. It looks like they will all by
sketching a female (could it be Jerry or Katy?) in the
nude and then having their artwork auctioned off (for