OCTOBER 17, 2010: Blake Patterson has just auditioned for American Idol in New Orleans. He WON'T be going to Hollywood.

Why Fox deemed it necessary to showcase this steaming pile of talent is anyone's guess.

NEW ORLEANS
New Orleans Arena

And the body count... 6500 looking for so many picks on the Road to Hollywood. And there's only one thing on their mind... "Laissez les bon temps rouler!" ... which literally translates to "Let the good times roll." Try it out on your friends, and you will be hit. Unless your friends are from NOLA. That said... laissez les bon temps rouler! *Gordon punches Chico* See?

Jordan Dorsey (21, La Place, LA) is a vocal/piano teacher learning the ropes of the industry on our school of hard knocks. He sings "Over the Rainbow". He's way too showboating, and he has no problem... well, showing that. He's through.

Sarah Sellers (28; Richardson, TX) has large lips for a marketing analysts/food & music blogger. She sings "To Make You Feel My Love". It was soulfully raspy. She's in.

Jovany Barreto (23, Harvey, LA) is a first-generation Cuban American ship builder. He's just in this to meet Jennifer, really. Especially after meeting his idol Marc Anthony. He sings "Contigo en la Distancia" by Luis Miguel. Not bad. Not bad at all. May want to change it up if he wants to attract more than just J-Lo's gaze. But right now, he's in. And he celebrates by taking his clothes off.

After meeting Randy Jackson's brother Herman, we meet cosmetologist Jacquelyn Dupree (24; Summit, MS), who has pictures of Randy in HS. She sings "I'll Stand By You". Bordering on shouting. This is a tender song, she needn't shout it. But it's a powerful voice, so she's in.

Brett Loewenstern (16, Boca Raton, FL) says that he likes to stand out. He sings "Bohemian Rhapsody". Doesn't really stand out, but the judges think otherwise. He's in...

Gabriel Franks (24, Baton Rouge, LA) is convinced that he's the next American Idol. You know what this means... Nine times out of 10, especially given that he's only seen in audition, he will NOT be the next American Idol. But he does look like Steven Tyler... or Mick Jagger. Or something. He sings "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga... What's the rule, kids? Men should not sing female songs unless they were covered successfully at one point by another man (We call it the "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You" Rule). It's very ugly. It's disease-ridden... and anything but romantic.

And I think he has a little bit of a goiter action going...

Alex Attardo (18, New Orleans) went to Idol Camp three years ago. Will this be the payoff? He's going with "Proud Mary"... Note to self... never go to Idol Camp.

Jaycee Badeaux (15, Lafayette) looks like he's 12. He sings "Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding with all the fervor and tone of a guy who has yet to peak. He's in.

We end the NOLA auditions with the requisite sob story, courtesy of Paris Tassin (23). She got pregnant at 18 with a baby who had hydrocephalus, which ultimately cost the baby her hearing. This is all for her... Her song is "Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood. She nails it. Perhaps the best of New Orleans. No surprise. She's through...

In total, 37 people from New Orleans join the 51 from NYC. Next week, the road to Hollywood passes through Milwaukee. Who'll drive the judges to drink? Stay tuned.