|
Episode 2
July 24
(C-Note: First up, the disclaimer...
Some of the acts competing have been paid to appear. During the
production process the producer and network may have suggested changes
in the performance of certain acts for entertainment purposes...
Oh... and don't try any of this stuff anywhere.)
Get your mallets out, everyone. It's Gong Show time. A belt and $600 are
on the line...
Tonight's Judges:
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog ("Late Night with Conan O'Brien")
Brian Posehn ("The Sarah Silverman Program")
Steve Schirripa (every game show in the past 10 years... except Match
Game)
First act is Esther Goldberg and her hairless pussy... cat. She's
singing a song about her pussy... cat. Steve & Brian don't want to hear
about her cute, hot, wet... cat, as she gets the series' first
"GANG-GONG!"
Next up, Pete Tino, the Human Floor. What does he do? He holds 2000
pounds of weight on his body. That's right, 2000 pounds of woman on his
floor. Kinda like Deal or No Deal, almost. Fifteen women, one human
floor. Congrats, Pete. Let's get the scores...
Triumph: 450
Brian: 450 (200 for Pete, 250 for the ladies)
Steve: 250
TOTAL: 1150
Next act, from Florida, Miss Ashley and her mighty O-ring... no, it's a
hula hoop. And you wouldn't believe what she could do with it... It's
your standard hula-hoop act, but what an act... and what a woman.
Triumph: 420
Brian: 499
Steve: 450
TOTAL: 1369
Now we have some magic from Alberta, Canada... Matt Adeline. He'll try
to escape froma straitjacket. And he does... to reveal a grotesquely fat
man who'll try to escape from a hula hoop. He gets halfway there when
Triumph gives him the GONG!
Next is Maroogin the Mystic. He has one piece of wire, which he's going
to push through his body. That. Looks. Painful. Dave pulls the wire out
with no pain and no bleeding, just like he said.
Triumph: 295
Brian: 490
Steve: 400
TOTAL: 1185
Next up, highbrow humor with Mike Lloyd from Texas. He's going to kick
himself in the head. This is his second game show, the first being "I've
Got a Secret". This time, he's kicking various other objects on his
head. Triumph gives him a kick in the nards in the form of a GONG!
And Mike's bleeding. Wow.
Next up, Queen Laquifa. She performs the 1812 Overture... with
flatulence. Steve performs the 1812 Overture... with GONG! "She sounded
a little pitchy."
Next performer sold everything he owned and hitchhiked all across the
country to live out his dream to be on the Gong Show... Dave Jusgow from
Mahwah, NJ... Last time, he did magic and ran out of time. Tonight, he
rocks out... and runs out of time.
Time to pick us a winner. Tonight's winner of the Gong Show Championship
Belt and the $600 that goes with it... MISS ASHLEY!
We'll be back with more... STUFF... next week. |
