|
Round of
Six
June 18
Last week, we saw Blu get brazen, the judges get booed, and Gordon be bored. This week, someone gets booted, and hopefully we get some semblance of balance...and I'm not just talking about the tightrope walker. According to Joey Fatone, we have acts which will blow your mind. More Fear! More Drama! and No Safety Net! (Of course not. They have a safety wire).
Joey Fatone reintroduces us to the celebrities. And we remember what happened last week. Stacy wowed the judges, but not the audience. Christopher wowed the audience, but not the judges, and Blu didn't wow anyone, saying that it was bullcrap. Unfortunately, she was describing the judges, and not the show.
We now have results, with Joey about to announce three celebrities who are safe. First up...Stacy Dash!. Next up...Antonio Sabado Jr.! FInally, the last safe celebrity is...Janet Evans! Wee Man, Blu Cantrell, Christopher Knight and Rachel Hunter are still in danger of getting booted.
Stacey Dash doesn't have to worry about that. She does have to deal, however, with the Circeau, which is the same apparatus that Rachel Hunter had to deal with last week. She gets spinning with Sasha.
What The Judges Think - Aurelia Cats loves her grace and amazement. Mitch Gaylord says that she came out fully confident and is the person to beat. Louie Spence says that THIS is what Circeau is about and he loves Stacey. 9 + 9 + 9 = 27, or a 9.0 Average.
What Haterade Thinks - I didn't like it as much as the judges did. She did better than Rachel did last week, but I still didn't think it was emotionally magical. Maybe I just don't see the excitement in someone spinning in a metal ring, as it gives me Leonid The Magnificent flashbacks. Sorry.
Antonio Sabato Jr. is next. He's doing a love story - but it's in the art of Hand Balancing with partner Illeana. We see clips of them warming up...and massaging partner Illeana...and...errr...Blu says that it's a family show and tells them to get a room. Ok then...
What The Judges Think - Aurelia loved his contact with the partner and he had good technique. Mitch was impressed with his strength. Louie says that the Americans do it bigger and better, and adds that he liked the emotional energy - though he warns Antonio about the focus. 8 + 8 + 8 = 24, or an average of 8.0.
What Haterade Thinks - I don't see anything exciting about the first half of the act except it's a feat of strength. The second half, however, was entertaining due to the intricate moves that Illeana was performing with him - the end of the act dual body pushup was impressive. What I also liked is Antonio's facial expressions. He actually emotionally committed himself into the act.
The last of the first safe contestants, Janet Evans, who says that she wants to replace tricks with grace. It's her turn to get the Flying Silks, and she plays an on-again, off-again lover. She has to be intimate with Sebastian - who's not her lover. She better find her inner lover. She goes flying through the air with Sebastian.
What The Judges Think - Aurelia found it believable, but wanted more technique. Mitch disagrees and thought she had both. Louie agrees with...both. It was amazing, but he wanted more. 7 + 8 + 7 = 22, or an average of 7.3.
What Haterade Thinks - When she was on the ground, you could see her desperately exuding emotion and passion. When she was in the air, you could see her desperately looking for an air sickness bag. It's an improvement over last week, but she still needs some more confidence when she's doing the stunts.
But who is safe? The next safe Contestant is...Christopher Knight! Joining him in the safe zone is...Wee Man! That leaves either Rachel Hunter or Blu Cantrell is leaving.
We'll get to the damsels in distress later. Right now, we see Christopher Knight, who may be in distress because he will be setting himself on fire. He's playing with fire - eating it, Juggling with it, and it possibly exploding in his trousers. His pun book explodes, as he gives us every bad fire joke in the world in his intro. Don't forget kids, playing with fire - bad. Playing with old tired, clicheic puns - just as bad.
They clown around, between juggling, breathing, blowing, and exploding his pants. Chrstopher says that he thinks his 20 something year old wife, Adrienne Curry, thinks he's lost his mind.
What The Judges Think - Aurelia liked the acting. It wasn't what Mitch expected (he expected more acrobats), but he liked the vaudeville style, adding that he made the vaudeville look easy. Louie cringed when Christopher blew his crotch up, adding that the fire was just as dangerous. 7 + 7 + 7 = 21. It's an average score of 7, and the audience soundly booed the judges.
What Haterade Thinks - I agree with...the audience. Sure he's not doing acrobatics or twirling around - but I think that his difficulty level is just as tough as - if not more so - most of the acts. The judges are too distracted with the flash and the eye candy to really appreciate what Knight is doing. Booooooooo.
Wee-Man risks his life on The Wheel of Death..and gets saved by the Safety Wire. Wee Man will next be on The German Wheel - the same Wheel that caused Christopher Knight to break his arm. Of course, being that he's Wee Man, and that it's a German Wheel, you may as well call it a Wee-nerschnitzel Wheel for Wee Man. Wee will try to synchronize his wheel with his new bro Vladimir.
What The Judges Think - Aurelia called it lazy. Mitch says that the performance needed a lot more work. Louie loves when he is in Jack-Ass, but he didn't see the same thing here, and he didn't know when Wee Man was clapping if he should be delivered a fish. 4 + 6 + 4 = 14, an average of 4.7. The judges continue to boo, like they never stopped when they were booing with Christopher.
What Haterade Thinks - This time I agree...with the judges. Even though Wee Man did a perfect Coin Spin after the performance, you only get one shot - and that shot was a blank. Wee Man is arguing with the judges, which is always a no-no. Is he disadvantaged because of his height? Sure, but he has to get through it, and he didn't.
After a promo of watching the circus carnies talk about what's needed to be successful, we see the bottom celebrities - Rachel and Blu. The first person leaving the circus is...Blu Cantrell. No surprise there. She had a fun time. But Blu, as you can expect, isn't done without giving out one last pot shot. Blu wants a competition where she can put her leg over her head vs. Aurelia's singing Blu's songs...er...song. I'll say this about Blu - she can cover Meredith Brook's song 'Bitch' without much of an issue.
But with Blu leaving, we get one last celebrity performing - and that would be Miss Hunter. She gets...the hammock? She tries a small hammock - and falls right through it. Oops. They give her a bigger hammock, and the trainers admit that they are having issues with trying to find some moves. Ummm...what about a new act? But ever the trooper (or a stubborn mule), Rachel does the hammock.
What The Judges Think - Aurelia liked her hard work, and said there was considerable improvement. Mitch loved that she used her size to her advantage. Louie loved her taking risks...but saw some mess ups. 7 + 8 + 7 = 22, for a 7.3 - and more booing from the audience.
What Haterade Thinks - She gets caught in the hammock to start - and the camera conveniently pans out to the crowd. She redeems herself with some very impressive feats of strength when she lifts up a male gymnast, and she was much improved, but I can't rank her in the high echelon because of the early slip-ups. Rachel does respect the marks, and her modesty may keep her around. But let's see who the judges and I think may not be around.
Judges Rankings
9.0 Stacey Dash
8.0 Antonio Sabato Jr.
7.3 Rachel Hunter
7.3 Janet Evans
7.0 Christopher Knight
4.7 Jason 'Wee Man' Acuna
Haterade's Rankings
Christopher Knight
Antonio Sabato Jr.
Janet Evans
Rachel Hunter
Stacey Dash
Jason 'Wee Man' Acuna
All signs point to Wee Man leaving, but I think his fan base may call to save him. I also think that Knight has a strong fan base, which may lead to trouble for for Janet or Rachel. We'll see in 7 days who's next to exit, stage left.
|
