Bust Me Right in
the Head With It
PREVIOUSLY ON THE AMAZING RACE...ten
teams scrambled from Santa Barbara, Argentina to the capital of
Buenos Aires...though not before boiling water with solar power
and dragging firewood for a mile. En route to Buenos Aires, they
dealt with broken buses and, once there, they had to count heads
of cattle. At the PIT STOP, Rachel & Dave (Team Yellow Ribbon)
won again while Dave & Cherie (Team Married Clowns) were last
and sent back to the circus they came from. Nine teams are left
to circle the globe for a million dollars...who will be going back
PIT STOP #2
LA RECOLETA, BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA
0022 LOCAL TIME
At the 200-year-old rubber tree which
I'm sure Goodyear would LOVE to get its greedy hands on, the soldier
and his wife, rip 'n' read the starting clue for Leg 3:
FLY TO THE
"CORAZON DE AMERICA": ASUNCION, PARAGUAY!
Fly over 650 miles to Asuncion,
the capital and largest city in Paraguay (which, BTW, is a
country the Race has never been to before). Once you
land, travel by taxi to the Metalurgica Punta de Rieles supply
store and search the store grounds for your next clue.
You have $200 for this Leg
of the Race.
Yeah, they know they're
a HUGE target now due to their aggressive gamepaly...but they'll
muddle through. Art & JJ (Team Border Watch, who leave three
minutes later) are happy to stay where Spanish is the primary language
as they speak it well. They also have a quasi-alliance with Rachel
& Dave, hoping that together they'll dominate.
(No other departure times
because...well, before the first flight leaves, they all show up
AIRES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
Team Yellow Ribbon arrive and see a
direct flight to Asuncio departing at 8:45am. They clue in Team
Border Watch and try to get on it. But...the travel agent says the
flight is packed so they'll have to go stand-by and hope for the
best. They sigh and go to the ticket counter to get on the list.
Inevitably, the other teams arrive.
Nary & Stacy (Party In the CIA) wave to the other teams to get
on standby. They are sticking with the lie that they're teachers
so that the other teams will like them more...but this action makes
Art & JJ hate them more! And, when the OTHER teams try to get
the ticket agent to get them bumped-up the list,...oh, man, it is
Good news for the Border/Ribbon Alliance:
THEY can make the early flight! They get the tix and argue about
not trusting anyone else for the rest of the Race. BAD news for
them: Nary & Stacy and Bopper & Mark (Sons of Anar-KY) ALSO
made the flight. The bad news for everyone ELSE: the flight is closed.
They - meaning Brendon & Rachel (Team Oh, Brother!), Kerri &
Stacy (Team Double Trouble), Vanessa & Ralph (Team It's Complicated!),
Joey "Fitness" & Danny (Team Clubbers) and Elliot
& Andrew (Team Twins? Really?) - have to take a 10:40am flight...meaning
they're essentially in a race to avoid last when they arrive at:
At the "heart of America"
(that's what "corazon de America" means), eight Americans
arrive and look for cabs to this supply shop. Team Border Watch
acquire one first, but Sons of Anar-KY tail them, followed closely
by Party In the CIA and Team Yellow Ribbon.
PUNTA de RIELES (METALLURGICAL TOP OF THE RAILS)
The place is essentially a store for
backyard stuff. Grills, mobile broilers, playground sets...they
got it. Art & JJ enter the place via slides and look around
the grills for their clue. Art finally finds it and they read it
or STRUNG OUT
STACKED UP: Travel by taxi
to Mercado Centro de Abasto, the largest fruit market in Paraguay.
Once there, find a truck full of watermelons and stack them
(in a perfect 10x10 pyramid) just like the local vendors do
every day. When the vendor is satisfied with the mountain
of melons, he will hand over your next clue.
STRUNG OUT: Travel by taxi
to the auditorium at the Campus of the Universidad Nacional
de Asuncion in San Lorenzo, go inside and choose a harp (the
nation instrument of Paraguay) that is unstrung. Following
the ongoing demostration, string up the harp with 36 strings.
When the harp conductor feels the harp is ready to be tuned,
he will give you your next clue.
The lead team decide to
stack melons and, as they leave the way they came in, they bump
into Bopper & Mark. Nary & Stacy arrive in third, followed
closely by Rachel & Dave. They ALL choose to get STACKED UP.
CENTRO de ABASTO
Huh...guys are passing
watermelons around like trout at a San Francisco fish market. Team
Border Watch arrives and learn exactly what must be done. Well,
hey, they're used to getting dirty and grimy so...they get to it,
tossing the melons like pros. As they work on the 10x10 foundation,
Team Yellow Ribbon arrives to start the task. Party In the CIA and
Sons of Anar-KY then show up...and the race is on! Tossing, stacking,
sometimes dropping and shattering...the melons keep moving along
with the Racers in the heat and humidity. Bases are done so they
go to the 9x9 level...and Bopper gets bopped in the head with a
melon thrown by Mark (at least wasn't a slingshot).
Nearly two hours after
the first group of teams land, the second group does and they run
for cabs. Brendon & Rachel are the first out of the airport,
Kerri & Stacy a minute behind, followed by Elliot & Andrew,
Vanessa & Ralph and - currently in last - Joey "Fitness"
& Danny. When they arrive at the backyard store and look around
the grills, they arrive at the DETOUR in the same order and they
ALL choose to get STACKED UP...save for Team Twins? Really? who
choose to get STRUNG OUT instead (well, why not, as Elliot's a musician?).
After all that time in
the Iraqi desert, it's natural that Rachel & Dave should have
some...communication problems once they got back together and are
forced to be together 24/7 on this Race. Like Dave yelling at his
wife to help instead of "supervise" and Rachel yelling
back that her husband's "unsupportive". The weather gets
warmer, the pyramids get higher...and Art & JJ finish theirs
first! They get the thumbs-up from the vendor and get this clue:
Make your way to the Plaza
de la Democracia and search the grounds for your next clue.
As they get a cab and
head, they make a solemn vow to come in first as they're the only
ones who looked like their stack was perfect. "There's no excuse
for NOT finishing first," they exclaim. And they may have a
point...because the other pyramids look like if the Egyptians used
cross-eyed Hebrew slaves back in the days of Exodus. And...yup,
there goes Nary & Stacy's stack a-tumblin' down. Aaaaand there
goes Bopper & Mark's. Aaaand...well, actually, Team Yellow Ribbon's
looks good; the team gets over their communication difficulties
and are getting them stacked well eno...oops,...never mind...there
it goes. Three downed pryamids...and six frustrated Americans. While
Party In the CIA and Sons of Anar-KY decide whtehr or not to start
over, Team Yellow Ribbon U-TURN themselves and head to string up
some harps instead. Dave suggests using the EXPRESS PASS...but Rachel
doesn't want to hear about it. Soon afterwards, the other two teams
decide to do the same.
As Bopper & Mark leave,
Kerry & Stacy arrive. When the girls ask the guys if it's hard,...well,
of COURSE, the guys are gonna say it's easy! What's more, the guys
TAKE the girls' taxi, which Team Double Trouble doesn't seem to
mind. The cab goes...and girls realize that the Sons of Anar-KY
spent two hours and didn't finish! What's more, now they need a
new cab to get to STRUNG UP because there's no WAY they're stacking
385 melons! Their message to the Kentucky boys: "all bets are
de la DEMOCRACIA
At one end of Asuncion's
Historic Center, Team Border Watch exit their cab and find a rare
Clue Box on the grounds. It is there that they find their next:
TO USE THEIR HEAD?
Time to take part in a Paraguayan
tradition: the Bottle Dance! One team member must go to the
brass band nearby and observe the Bottle Dancing girls balancing
wine bottles on their heads. Then, they must go through a
choreographed dance with the dancers...without dropping the
bottle banaced on THEIR head. If they succeed, the head dancer
will hand them the next clue.
WARNING: You are given a
lot of bottles to work with (enough to cover one table nearby
the dancers) but, if you break ALL your bottles before completing
the task, you will be assessed a two-hour penalty upon reaching
the PIT STOP.
Art (having a "big,
fat head" according to JJ) decides it's time to dance. While
JJ watches in a covered gazebo, Art gets to work...though he is
throroughly intimidated by the dance the women do. Bottle after
bottle falls off his head as he tries desperately to keep up.
Back at STACKED UP, Team
Clubbers and Team Twins? Really? decide to stay and stack melons...though
their catching ability leaves a deal to be desired. And when Team
It's Complicated and Team Oh, Brother! shows up, it's a smack-talk
war as they BOTH unloaded from the same truck and jockeyed for position.
After a while (and Vanessa talking about Rachel's...ahem...panties
bunching up front, if you catch my drift), Rachel says they need
to go string harps instead. of course, that's exactly what Vanessa
was HOPING for..
Art spins around with
a bottle on his head. He gets on his hands and knees with the bottle
on his head. He does a "swimming" motion with the bottle
STILL on his head. And he gets back on his hands and knees...and,
since the bottle is STILL on his head, the head dancer hands him
a clue! JJ joins him as they read this important clue:
MAKE YOUR WAY
TO THE NEXT PIT STOP!
Make your way on foot to
the monument at Escalinata de Antequera, the PIT STOP for
this Leg of the Race.
WARNING! The last team to
check-in MAY BE ELIMINATED!
Nothing in the clue saying
they can't ask for directions so, using their knowledge of Spanish,
they ask a policia where to go. They half-walk, half-stroll to...
a los COMUNEROS
ESCALINATA de ANTEQUERA
Near the top of a LONG
flight of concrete stairs, Phil and the female local greeter await.
The two border patrolmen jog up the steps and hit the mat in front
of them. After the greeter...well...GREETS them, Phil gives them
the great news: they are Team # 1! And for that, they win a 5-night
stay at Paradise Island in the Bahamas via the Roaming Gnomes at
Travelocity. And...chances are they'll get a LONG lead at the start
of Leg 4 for "smoking" the competition today!
OK, back to the NON-trip-winners...
at UNIVERSIDAD NACIONAL de ASUNCION
LORENZO, ASUNCION, PARAGUAY
Elliot & Andrew (the
first actually CHOOSE to be STRUNG OUT) are the first to arrive
at the auditorium and hear the heart strings being pulled...though
Bopper & Mark are minutes behind and Nary & Jamie are minutes
behind THEM. As it turns out, the strings are already strung to
he bottom of the harp and are tangled together. All the teams have
to do is untangled the strings and, watching the demo, pull them
up to the top and tie them to the tuning pegs. The Sons of Anar-KY
are good with untying...and Elliot of Team Twins? Really? feels
it's no different than stringing a guitar. Of course, when Kerri
& Staci arrive, they have NO love for the Kentucky boys.
And then in comes Rachel
& Dave...and when they see all the teams lined up, they felt
it a good time to use their trump card:
PASS - RACHEL & DAVE
The Express Pass will allow
one team the opportunity to bypass ANY task. If you cannot
or will not perform a task, simply hand the presiding local
your Express Pass, and he or she will give you the next clue,
no questions asked!
You may only use the Express
Pass ONCE, up to and including the 8th Leg, so you must determine
when it is in your best interests to use it.
As they don't know about
the teams left at STACKED UP and they feel in danger of ending up
in last, they hand the EXPRESS PASS and leave the DETOUR in 2nd,
letting the others deal with harps and melons. As they leave, Brendon
& Rachel show up and, feeling cool and more relaxed, get to
work. The athmosphere is more light-hearted here; Bopper even sings
"Folsom Prison Blues" as close to the tune of the harp-playing
as he can, eliciting a laugh from everyone. The one having the MOST
difficulty...is, oddly enough, Elliot & Andrew. Turns out stringing
a harp is WAY harder than stringing a guitar..
Speaking of STACKED UP,
the melon rinds are plentiful as the workers look on in mild disgust
at the mess they'll have to clean up. Team It's Complicated!'s pyramid
topples on one corner but they work them back up. Team Clubbers
is tossing melons like Eli Manning tosses miracle catches and the
two muscular men are well on their way to finishing.
At the Plaza, the ex-EXPRESS
PASS holders get to the ROADBLOCK and Dave decides to use his head...or,
more like the BACK of his head from the looks of where he's balancing
the bottle. And, one-by-one, the bottle fall off his odd-shaped
head and crashing to the ground. Already Rachel is thinking they'll
have to take the penalty...but she's still optimistic. Dave goes
through all the bottles rather quickly...and thus gets the next
clue by default. They walk to the PIT STOP and Phil says they're
the second team to arrive...but that being unable to do the ROADBLOCK
means they have to wait two hours before being checked-in. As of
now, they're still in second...but the question is, with two teams
still pushing watermelons and the others stringing harps, will they
STAY in second? Or, for THAT matter, will they even stay in the
Back at the auditorium,
the teams work fast and thoroughly. Strangely enough, it's Team
Oh, Brother! who gets their harp checked first by the conductor.
The man looks it over...and gives them the thumbs-up! They leave
the DETOUR in 3rd, much to the chagrin of the other teams. But they
keep working... and the Sons of Anar-KY are the next to get the
inspection and the thumbs-up, departing in 4th. This does NOT sit
well with Team Twins? Really? A musician being beat in a task with
musical instruments?! Incomprehensable!!
As Vanessa & Ralph's
pyramid collapses again, Joey "Fitness" & Danny's
is completed. To the applause of the workers, the young men are
given their clue and leave for the Plaza in 5th. Ralph thinks of
U-TURNing themselves...but Vanessa wants to stick with it...even
though more melons are dropping. They get up to the last melon...and
it tumbles down yet again! As Vanessa stands still in sadness, Ralph
gets ready to re-build it from the bottom up..
Team Double Trouble gets
their harp checked...and they leave the DETOUR in 6th, leaving two
other teams to wallow. But not for long: Party In the CIA finish
in 7th. So the twins - the first ones to PICK this task and the
first to ARRIVE at it - are left alone in their angered misery...and
the fact that they have to RE-string because they missed a hole.
Finally, they throw up their hands and try to leave for STACKED
UP...but there're no cabs in the area. Elliot bites on his foolish
pride and goes back into the auditorium, determined to finish the
(Rachel & Dave penalty
time left: 47 minutes)
At the ROADBLOCK, Rachel
does the task for Team Oh, Brother! while Joey "Fitness"
goes for Team Clubbers and Mark for the Sons of Anar-KY. The three
get to the kneeling-down part of the routine before the bottles
shatter. As they try again, Party In the CIA selects Nary to do
the ROADBLOCK and Team Double Trouble picked Kerri. The five Americans
work on it...and it's Rachel who conquers it first. They leave the
ROADBLOCK in 3rd...though they may not check-in that way. Joey "Fitness"
is the next to get on his belly and finish the Bottle Dance so he
and Danny leave in fourth.
The two teams run down
the street towards the staircase, but Team Oh, Brother!, despite
nearly getting run over, arrive at the mat first. As Rachel sucks
in air, Phil informs them that they are the third team to ARRIVE...but,
because Team yellow Ribbon is still in the "penalty box"
nearby for another half-hour, they are actually Team # 2! Team Clubbers
are then marked as Team # 3 (BEST IMPROVEMENT OF THE LEG).
Back at the dance, it
looks like Mark is about to finish...Nary is getting there...and
Kerri drops the bottle as she drops to all fours. Mark gets the
clue and he and Bopper leave the ROADBLOCK 5th, Nary is on her belly...and
Kerri drops ANOTHER bottle. Nary & Jamie depart in 6th.
5 minutes remain in Team
Yellow Ribbon's penalty...Sons of Anar-KY and Party In the CIA run
towards the PIT STOP together...15 seconds...the others see Phil
and jog up...5 seconds...
...and the two teams hit
the mat JUST as time runs out. Bopper & Mark are proclaimed
Team # 4, Nary & Jamie as Team # 5 and Rachel & Dave as
Team # 6 (BIGGEST DROP OF THE LEG)...making them the first
team EVER to not complete a task and STILL be in the Race!
Meanwhile, back at the
DETOUR - STRUNG OUT, Team Twins? Really? are still working on their
harp...and at STACKED UP, Team It's Complicated! vows to be there
til MIDNIGHT if they must to stack those melons. As they work and
work, Team Double Trouble finish the ROADBLOCK and get checked in
as Team # 7.
As Vanessa & Ralph's
ugly-looking pyramid reaches its completion, Elliot & Andrew
FINALLY finish their harp and leave the DETOUR in 8th...unaware
that Ralph is placing the final melon to allow him and his girl
to leave in last.
At the ROADBLOCK, Elliot
choose to "use his head" in the task...with Andrew shaking
his own head at the task and Elliot's greased hair. Vanessa &
Ralph are certain they're last as they cab it to the Plaza. They'll
finish "dirty and disgusting"...but they vow to finish.
And look how happy they are to see the twins there! Ralph decides
to do the task...and the Battle to Avoid Elimination begins!
The two men balance the
bottles... they spin around...and the bottles drop. More bottles...more
drops. Elliot gets around and starts to drop to his knees...but
the bottle drops before he gets to all fours. Ralph still struggles
just to spin around...but he gets there eventually. Elliot can't
kneel down withour dropping his...so Ralph has a chance...and he
DOES it! Team It's Complicated! leaves in eighth...much to Andrew's
chagrin. But as they run off, Elliot finally gets on his stomach
and keeps the bottle intact! Team Twins? Really? leave in last...but
can their younger bodies pass the divorcees?
AThe twins sprint, even
with backpacks...the couple starts to slow down due to Vanessa's
exhaustion...they see Pihl and the greeter...they run up the steps
Rocky Balboa-style...they hit the mat...and Phil exclaims...
"Vanessa & Ralph...you
are Team # 8! You're staying in the Race!"
Try as they could, Elliot
& Andrew just couldn't pull it off. Phil tells them they're
last to arrive...and regrets to tell them that they're out of the
Race. Still, a high-five by the twins and hugs by Team It's Complicated!
on a Race well-run. Elliot thinks he let his brother down...but
Andrew says they'll laugh when they see this on TV. This was a big
opportunity for them and they'll remember it forever.
AFTER LEG 3:
BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA to ASUNCION, PARAGUAY
1) Art & JJ
(+1) - Bahamas
2) Brendon & Rachel (+2)
3) Joey "Fitness" & Danny (+5)
4) Bopper & Mark (-1)
5) Nary & Jamie (+1)
6) Rachel & Dave (-5) - Express Pass (USED), Grenada
7) Kerri & Stacy (+2)
8) Vanessa & Ralph (-1)
ELIMINATED) Elliot & Andrew (EVEN) (9th)
ELIMINATED) Dave & Cherie (10th)
ELIMINATED) Misa & Maiya (11th)
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