You Know I'm Not
As Smart As You!
PREVIOUSLY ON THE AMAZING RACE...eleven
teams left Santa Barbara and headed to Santa Barbara...that's S.B.,
California to S.B., Argentina. Along the way, they skydived and
made a LOT of empanadas before arriving at the first PIT STOP of
the Race. Rachel & Dave (Team Yellow Ribbon) were the first
to shopw up, earning the EXPRESS PASS that will allow them to skip
any task from now until the end of Leg 8. Misa & Maiya (Team
FORE!) were THIS CLOSE to the PIT STOP...but couldn't FIND it until
it was too late. They were the first to go home. Ten teams remain
in the hunt for the million bucks...who will be Philiminated NEXT?!
PIT STOP #1
de CAFAYATE HOTEL AND SPA
OUTSIDE OF SANTA BARBARA, ARGENTINA
0246 LOCAL TIME
After a rest period in which they admire
their EXPRESS PASS, the soldier and his wife get Leg 2 started thusly:
HEAD FOR THE
Drive yourselves to the Town
Square of Cafayate, Argentina (just down the road, really).
Once there, wait for a chasqui (a mounted postman) to come
by and deliver your next clue to you.
Unaware of what a "chasqui"
is, and confident that they can pocket their EXPRESS PASS, the couple
takes off. The other teams' departure times (local time) are:
Brendon & Rachel (Team Oh, Brother!): 0248
Art & JJ (Team Border Watch): 0249
Nary & Jamie (Party In the CIA): 0321
Vanessa & Ralph (Team It's Complicated!): 0331
Elliot & Andrew (Team Twins? Really?): 0421
Kerri & Stacy (Team Double Trouble): 0523
Dave & Cherie (Team Married Clowns): 0527
Bopper & Mark (Sons of Anar-KY): 0529
Joey "Fitness" & Danny (Team Clubbers): 0535
Team Border Watch learn what a "chasqui"
is as head off...with Team Oh, Brother! tailing them. JJ feels this
is typical of Brendon as "he's a UCLA student". And nobody
knows Party In the CIA are actually feddies; Nary & Jamie have
been telling everyone they're school teachers. How very CIA of them!
And did you know that Dave of Team Married Clowns had LP Hodgkin's
disease...TWICE?! That's, essentially, white blood cell cancer,
folks! Fortunately, he's been cancer-free for the last 11 years.
A barking dog greets Team Yellow Ribbon
as they arrive at the square. A nearby information booth informs
them that the "chasqui" will not be by until sunrise.
So much for the lead. Before the large daystar even TOUCHES the
horizon, all the teams are there, waiting for the postman.
As it must, the sun rises. And, at
around 6:35am, hooves are heard on the street. Ah, it's senor postman;
he checks and sees...and he has a letter, a letter for...well, EVERYONE!
Twenty Americans run to the horseman and grabs the clues as soon
as he pulls them out of his saddlebag. And that next clue is the
BOIL MY WATER
or LIGHT MY FIRE
BOIL MY WATER: Travel to
one of three isolated villages on the enclosed map and provide
them with a means of cooking...the natural way. Once you arrive,
go to the nearby flatbed truck and take out one of the "solar
kitchen" sets. Then, using the picturs on the side of
the box as a reference, set up the kitchen. Then, point the
kitchen directly at the sun and place a tea kettle full of
water in the center. Once the kettle starts to whistle that
the water is boiling, show the solar panel expert and he will
hand you your next clue.
LIGHT MY FIRE: Head for the
riverbank (at El Taller Obelisco) marked on the map and collect
firewood and clay. Load them onto a provided donkey and transport
them about one mile to the Artesanias Pottery Workshop. You
must make sure it is enough firewood (40 sticks) and clay
that the shop owner can build into a good fire. Once she apporves
of the delivery, she will hand you your next clue. If she
doesn't, you must take the donkey back to the riverbed and
An issue occurs when Brendon
& Rachel snatch Art & JJ's clue right out of their hands.
In the end, once everyone has their clues, everyone BUT Team Border
Watch choose BOIL MY WATER; the partolmen figure it'll take FOREVER
to boil water.
Oddly enough, the first
village hosting BOIL MY WATER just happens to be the pottery workshop
that end LIGHT MY FIRE. Rachel & Dave, Vanessa & Ralph and
Dave & Cherie and Nary & Jamie get the four "solar
kitchens" on the truck (thus forcing everyone else to go to
the next location) and start to build. Art & JJ drive PAST them
en route to the riverbank. Now...the pictures on the side of the
boxes are of COMPLETED panels, which makes it kind of hard to know
what really goes where. But the teams plow along. Dave from Team
Yellow Ribbon prefers to work on his own...so Rachel seems to be
getting in the way, according to him.
At the second BOIL MY
WATER spot, Elliot & Andrew, Joey "Fitness" &
Danny and Kerri & Stacy stop...just as Team Border Watch passes
by en route to LIGHT MY FIRE. Stacy is the "builder" and
"tweaker" of the two cousins so she's in charge of helping
to set the kitchen up. That leaves Bopper & Mark and Brendan
& Rachel to go to the furthest village. Just then, Art &
JJ show up, asking for directions to the riverbank and getting no
help. As they drive away, the Sons of Anar-KY seem to put the kitchen
together fairly quickly and fairly easily.
As for Team Border Watchers,...they're
wondering donde el infierno THEIR task starts! They stop
at another small village and ask for directions...and learn they
are WAY off course. JJ fixates on the fact they are now twenty minutes
behind everyone else...but Art wants him to let it go as they FINALLY
find the place. They pant heavily as they run to the riverbank,
check out how the donkey is supposed to be loaded up and get to
collecting, determined to catch up.
Back at village # 1, Rachel
& Dave finish their panel and begin to point it at the sun...while
the others aren't even HALF-way done. And the others start throwing
epithets that CBS can actually AIR as they struggle. At #3, Bopper
& Mark finish their task and put the kettle on, waiting for
it to boil while Team Oh, Brother! still struggle with their own.
At #2, Danny cuts his hand but shrugs it off.. Then Team Clubbers
see that Team Double Trouble is close to completion and all but
beg for help from them...which, for some reason, the cousins give
Team Married Clowns get
the same idea to peek at Team Yellow Ribbon's completed kitchen...and
only THEN do they realize that there are pictures for reference.
DOH! "The things you miss," says Cherie, "when you're
hopped up on adrenaline." As more teams finish and start to
boil, Art & JJ finish the collection and start their long trek
to drop off the stick and stones...and get their donkey's rope stuck
on a branch. At this point, it's anybody's Race...
...but, in the end, a
kettle whistles...and it belongs to the Sons of Anar-KY! They depart
the DETOUR in first with this clue:
TRAVEL BY BUS
TO THE CITY OF BUENOS AIRES!
Drive yourselves back to
Salta and travel by charter bus (on an 18-hour trip) to Buenos
Aires, the capital of Argentina. Once you arrive, find your
way to the Mercado de Hacienda de Liniers (Liniers Cattle
Market) where your next clue awaits.
As they drive off for
Salta, Team Border Watch arrive at village #1 and, subsequently,
the pottery workshop. They unload for the shop owner, get the nod
and depart in second, much to the other teams' chagrin. The next
whistling kettle belongs to Team Yellow Ribbon, who quickly leave
in 3rd. After the two all-male teams speed by village #3, they honk
at Team Oh, Brother! in jest. Good thing THEIR kettle went off right
then; who knows WHAT they'd've done?! Dave & Cherie are next
to depart in 5th, followed closely by Team It's Complicated!, Team
Twins? Really?, Team Clubbers and Team Double Trouble. Party In
the CIA waited...and waited...and FINALLY got a whistle, meaning
they can depart in last place for...
The first bus departing
for Buenos Aires is ready to roll...but not without the first four
teams - Bopper & Mark, Art & JJ, Rachel & Dave and Brendon
& Rachel - on it. The second bus isn't quite as far behind,
so the second group - Dave & Cherie, Vanessa & Ralph, Elliot
& Andrew and Joey "Fitness” & Danny - can still make
up time. The last two teams - Kerri & Stacy and Nary & Jamie
- have to settle for the next bus...still close but not THAT close.
Well, when you have 18
hours or bus riding to do, best you can do is curl up and get some
shut-eye for the road ahead. All ten teams do just that... watching
the scenery... leaning back... closing their eyes... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
SALTA AND BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA
The teams on the second
bus wake with a start. On a Race where anything can happen, something
did: one of the windows on their bus was shattered in! Fortunately,
nobody was hurt. But "repairing" the window (read: duct-tape
the window up with cardboard) takes time. And, by the time they're
ready to roll (about two hours later), the third bus passes them
by...which should be much to the delight of the two all-girl teams
who are now closer to making it three all-girl teams in a row to
win the Race.
The first bus, having NO problems,
arrives in the morning at the
Argentine capital. Teams Sons of Anar-KY, Yellow Ribbon, Border
Watch and Oh, Brother! depart and look for taxis. They get them
and haul...just as the last bus to depart enters the city limits.
Team Double Trouble and Party in the CIA still think they're in
9th and 10th - not 5th and 6th - en route to...
DE HACIENDA DE LINIERS
A clue bag hangs from
a statue of a horse flanked by two statues of gauchos. It is here
that Rachel & Dave arrive at first, only to run into a:
This is the largest cattle
market in the world...and one of you is about to find out
HOW large! One team member must listen to an auctioneer tell
the weight of all the cows in one corral and then quickly
count the number of heads of cattle in said canal and work
out the average (rounded down to the nearest kilogram). They
must work out the average before the auctioneer finishes the
auction and moves on to the next corral or they must start
again. If they tell the correct average to the waiting guacho,
he will hand them the next clue, which they can only open
when they reunite with their partner. You may NOT use a calculator
to work out the average.
Rachel decides to count
heads and runs to catch the opening bell of the auction. The auctioneer
annouces the weight of the first corral: 5919 kilograms of future
hamburgers. As the auction starts, Rachel works fast to try to count
the cattle...but, of course, cattle doesn't like to stay put, especially
when being priced for the slaughter. So the counting is hard for
her...especially with the auctioneer talking loud and fast.
Brendon & Rachel get
dropped off on the OTHER side of the market and start to run. This
allows Art & JJ to speed past them and get the clue, they the
former "House Guests" and Bopper & Mark are right
behind. JJ, Rachel B. and Mark choose to count heads...and they
arrive to do so just as Rachel R. figures out the average and runs
down to tell the gaucho. Her guess...is incorrect. So now she must
join the others at the NEXT corral, which has over 10,000kgs of
beef in it. JJ and Rachel R. team up to try to solve the riddle...and
Rachel B. decides to mosey up beside them and listen for the right
number. Mark works with numbers and livestock fairly often so he
should have no trouble doing it alone,...right? Uh,...wrong. His
guess is turned back by the gaucho.
As the second bus arrives
at the station, Rachel R. and JJ figure out the average of the current
stall and both head down to the gaucho to confirm...right behind
Rachel B., whose guess is wrong. The current auction had 7540kgs
of cattle...and there were 22 head of cattle...making an average
of 342.72kg (or just 342 for this clue). The gaucho accepts this
and hands JJ his next clue. Rachel R. follows suit and gets the
clue in second. The two teams reunite and rip 'n' read:
MAKE YOUR WAY
TO THE NEXT PIT STOP!
Travel by taxi to El Gomero,
a famous 200-year-old rubber tree found in the middle of the
Recoleta Neighborhood of Buenos Aires. This is the PIT STOP
for this Leg of the Race.
WARNING! The last team to
check-in MAY BE ELIMINATED!
As the two teams excitedly
depart, Bopper and Brendon encourage their teammates to not distress
and concentrate. JJ was glad to have rid themselves of the "tagalongs"
of Team Oh, Brother! and is not one bit ashamed of not helping the
panicky Rachel B. After a few more frustrating attempts, Rachel
B. and Mark decide to work together as well...though she's STILL
Rightfully so, too, because
Nary & Jamie and Kerri & Stacy just arrived. Nary and Stacy
are the averagers for this ROADBLOCK and join Rachel and Mark...JUST
as Mark works out an average for the two of them. And THIS time,
it's right! Bopper & Mark leave in 3rd and Brendon & Rachel
right behind them in 4th. As the Sons of Anar-KY get a cab (and
Mark grovels about not rounding), Team Oh, Brother! are cab-less...and
Rachel starts to cry for screwing things up. Brendon does his best
to calm Rachel down...though not too successfully until they get
LA RECOLETA, BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA
Two taxis pull in the
park where the huge rubber tree stands tall and proud. Phil and
the local greeter (a soccer player in Team Argentina garb) likewise
stand tall and proud as the teams run for the black mat in front
of the host. Two Americans hit the mat, get the greeting and get
the good news from Mr. Keoghan:
"Rachel & Dave...you
are Team # 1...again!"
For winning back-to-back
Legs, the couple will spend seven nights on the Carribean island
of Grenada, courtesy of (who else?) Travelocity(TM), the official
trip-prize-giver of The Amazing Race. Oh, and don't worry,
Dave; it's been thirty years since we invaded and Gunney Highway
and his troops cleared it out.
Art & JJ are Team
# 2...and they're not happy! Well, at FIRST, they're not because
they're so competative...but they get over it quick.
The final bus pulls up
to the station and the four teams who WERE in the middle of the
pack are now running to avoid being Philiminated or SPEED BUMPed.
As they head for the market, Stacy and Nary work on the ROADBLOCK.
Stacy's great at math (having an 11-year-old at home)...but not
with distractions. And there are a LOT a distractions at this loud
Back at the tree, Bopper
& Mark are Team # 3 (BEST IMPROVEMENT OF THE LEG) and
Brendon & Rachel are # 4.
Stacy runs to the gaucho
with her guess...and receives the clue! She and Kerri leave for
the PIT STOP in 5th...but not alone as Nary gets HER guess right
as well and she and Jamie leave in 6th...and the market continues
with the auctions, awaiting the final four teams.
Speaking of which, Teams
It's Complicated! and Clubbers arrive and Jessica and Joey "Fitness"
elect to count the beef. Minutes behind them is Team Married Clowns,
Dave volunteering. In last is Team Twins? Really? and Andrew goes
for it. While Andrew digs math, Dave and Jessica are horrible at
it...and Joey "Fitness" has only seen cows in picture
books or on buns so...might throw him off.
Team Double Trouble arrive
at the PIT STOP...and get the good news about being the second bus
to arrive and, consequently, them being Team # 5. And there was
MUCH rejoicing! And a CHEER as well! Party In the CIA get the same
good news, save that they're Team # 6. And even MORE rejoicing!
Back at the auction, Dave
has a LOT of difficulty with the math...but Vanessa (who has experience
in "tuning out men") concentrates...and she and Ralph
leave in 7th. This gives Joey "Fitness" and Andrew the
idea to pool their resorces to "beat the clown". And,
sure enough, Joey "Fitness" & Danny depart in 8th
with Elliot & Andrew right behind in 9th...leaving the math-flummoxed
Dave in the dust! But, just like a clown, even a frown won't stop
At the PIT STOP, Team
It's Complicated! learn about the other bus passing them and, as
such, they are Team # 7. Hey...they're still racing so...whatever.
Team Clubbers check-in as # 8...and Team Twins? Really? as # 9 (BIGGEST
DROP OF THE LEG). At least Elliot gets to kick it around with
the soccer player/greeter.
Dave keeps plugging away
as Cherie cries some more "tears of a clown". With most
of the corrals empty, Dave FINALLY gets the nod and the team head
for the PIT STOP...though almost certain of what's going to happen.
Sure enough, when they arrive at the tree (with red noses on their
conks), Phil lets them know they're in last...and that he must "send
out the clowns"; they are eliminated. They've been through
worse together (as stated above) so...no regrets. They put on their
noses again and clown around as they depart.
No million-dollar clowns
this time. o/~ Well, maybe...neeeeeext yeeeeeeeeeear. o/~ (Oh, stop
AFTER LEG 2:
SANTA BARBARA, ARGENTINA to BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA
1) Rachel &
Dave (EVEN) - Express Pass, Grenada
2) Art & JJ (+1)
3) Bopper & Mark (+6)
4) Brendon & Rachel (-2)
5) Kerri & Stacy (+2)
6) Nary & Jamie (-2)
7) Vanessa & Ralph (-2)
8) Joey "Fitness" & Danny (+2)
9) Elliot & Andrew (-3)
ELIMINATED) Dave & Cherie (-2) (10th)
ELIMINATED) Misa & Maiya (11th)
To see this episode in
its entirety, or to apply to be a contestant on "The Amazing Race",
visit the official website at