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Auditions: Memphis (or "The King is
Dead... Accept It") - January 23
This recap would be best illustrated by the
lyrics of Marc Cohn's "Walking in Memphis"...
"Put on my blue suede shoes and I boarded a
plane,
Touch down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain."
That's precisely what happened with American Idol
today in this town of 650,000... except the "rain" in this case is people who
think they can sing... but obviously can't.
The denizens of this town have descended upon
FedEx Forum, the home of the Grizzlies, to try out.
"WC Handy, won't you look down over me..."
First to go is Frank "Frankenbeans" Byers (21;
Waldo, AR), a cheerleader for Southern Arkansas University. He's brought his
entire pep crowd with him. He's "Heard It Through the Grapevine". We need a
decent soul singer in the crowd. And after that.. we still do. Simon thought it
was corny... and a song change doesn't help. The other two agree. Aaaand cue the
trombone... "Wah wah wah waaaaah."
And Simon comes outside to tell them to put a
sock in it. Tell ya, man... Cheerleaders... They're always there for you. One
down, 15,999 to go.
Next, Timika Sims (16), who'd have to be animated
to get past "corpse stage". People just call her Miky... Hmm... After Simon's
reminded of who Mya is (as opposed to Meyer or Mayer or Mayor), she sings a very
lifeless, very nasal "Rock Wit U" by Ashanti. Another song change, another
denial. It's another no.
Next, Chris Rivera (18; Black Mountain, NC) sings
"Superstition". Good news... it's better than Timika... Bad news... it's still
not good. Alexis Partee (20; Southaven, MS) has her way with the Hollywood
Squares theme music (aka Teena Marie's "Square Biz"). That's a no-go as
well.
"Yeah, I've got a first class ticket, but I'm
as blue as a boy can be."
Jason "Sundance" Head (27; Porter, TX) claims to
be a personification of the Blues. At least he's got the DNA to be the American
Idol. His father, Roy Head, was one back in the 60s with "Treat Her Right". He
has no moves. He sings "Stormy Monday" by Bobby "Blue" Bland. Here's your decent
soul singer. Paula calls it powerful. Simon calls it one of the best. "I'm
gonna be amazed if you don't make the finals."
Sundance Head - GOING TO HOLLYWOOD
Is Wandera Hitchye (23) next? No. Cookie-cutter.
The rest of her time comes off as your typical episode of "Cheaters", complete
with the "Get that (^_^) out of my face."
"I'm walking in Memphis, I'm walking with my
feet ten feet off of Beale,
I'm walking in Memphis, but do I really feel the way I feel?"
The "no" club is a big one today.
Travis McKinney (22) is going to sing for his
girlfriend. He wants to bring emotion to American Idol for the first time. If
that's emotion, I'd rather do without, thank you.
"Muriel plays piano every Friday at the
Hollywood,
Brought me down to see her, and she asked me if I would
Do a little number, and I sang with all my might,
She say 'Tell me are you a Christian child,' I say 'Ma'am, I am tonight!'"
How about Danielle McCullough (18; Collierville,
TN)? She just wants to make them smile today. She sings "Baby, I Love You"
by Aretha. She's on tone and she's got the energy. Randy didn't think it was
amazing, but Simon liked the bluesy feel. Randy says she's gone first day. Paula
and Simon disagree.
Dani McCullough - GOING TO HOLLYWOOD
Day 1 ends there. Day 2 begins with Paula getting
love from the people... Her biggest fan today, Topher McCain (28; Kennesaw, GA).
His wife was messing around, so she left. Why? "Because she's a bitch." "I
believe the auditions are a new beginning for me." He gets "Footloose"... but
the pitch was all over the place, and the energy wasn't really there. Simnon
compared it to a performance from a wedding after a few beers. "It's all good."
"And you called your ex-wife a bitch on national
TV!" Always on the bright side, Simon.
Next Memphis belle... She thinks that first
impressions are lasting impressions, and that the judges would probably say that
she's really neat, conservative, all that. Then we take a look at the first
impression... of Janita Burks (20) singing "Disco Inferno". It's a handful. The
guys say no to the vocals.
Next, ... we're doing Communist Idol with Fidel
Cas... err, sorry, it's Sean Michel (27; Bryant, AR). He sings "God's Gonna Cut
You Down" by Johnny Cash. Nice soulful rendering. Paula likes the tone. Simon
says yes. Paula says yes. Randy says yes.
Sean Michel - GOING TO HOLLYWOOD
Melinda Doolittle (28; Brentwood) is a
professional background singer. She thinks of it as fun, wanting to be in the
background. So what's changed? "I need to get over the fear and stand in front
of people. She sings "For Once in My Life", the Stevie version. Very loud, but
at the same time, very true to the nature of the song. Paula says she's good.
Simon calls it brilliant, but she needs to amp up the confidence.
Melinda Doolittle - GOING TO HOLLYWOOD
"Saw the ghost of Elvis on Union Avenue,
I followed him up to the gates of Graceland, and I watched him walk right
through."
Robert Lee Holmes (21) swears he sounds just like
Elvis. He tries singing to "Burning Love" by the King. ... at least he got the
words right. The rest of it.. terrible.
"Now security did not see him, they just
hovered 'round his tomb."
MONTAGE!
"But there's a pretty little thing waiting for
the King down in the jungle room."
Finally, we have Phil Stacy (28; Jacksonville,
FL, who made the ultimate sacrifice to be on Idol. Right now, he's missing the
birth of his second baby. The last thing she wants to hear today is the name of
his song, "Let's Get It On". Was the risk worth it?
Wait, we have a change in the play, it's "My
Girl." Starts out rocky, then gets better. Randy likes the voice. Paula wanted
to hear something else.
Back to "Let's Get It On." Randy and Paula
thought that was better. Simon thought "My Girl" was better.
Better hurry to your baby girl to tell her...
Phil Stacy - GOING TO HOLLYWOOD
And at the end of the day, it's a new beginning
for 22 singers.
"Put on my blue suede shoes and I boarded a
plane,
Touch down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain."
And we're doing it all again next time... in New
York City. | 