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A supermodel, a Spice Girl, a comic cut-up, and the self-proclaimed King of all Media criss-cross the country in search of million-dollar talent. Recaps by Chico Alexander, Lee DiGeorge & Gordon Pepper, GSNN
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Auditions 7 July 7 |
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(C-Note: some of the acts that you are
about to read involve real danger in front of a live television audience. They were
designed, practiced, and supervised by professionals, taking the
contestants' safety into full account. They are extremely dangerous and
should NEVER be attempted anywhere, by anyone, at any time.) This is it. If you can't make it on this stage tonight, there's no way you can make it to Vegas. Welcome to the final night of Auditions. But first, Howie's late. But in plenty of time to meet Daditude! (42-55, LA), a dance troupe of dads. But in another life, each one of them was a professional dancer. They say they still have moves in them, but enough for 90 seconds? It could use a few moves that don't look like dads at a daughter's wedding, but at least they're on the same page physically. Mel thought it was cute and funny, while Heidi thinks America will fall in love with them. Howard says that they are not worth a million. We have 2 yeses, one no. Howie.... gets them 3. Joining them: Nick & Eddie (singers), Xavier Mortimer (magician), and Benton Blount (bearded WGWG). While we see the usual cadre of contortionists, we also see Scott Churchson (39, actor), a hand-and-face contortionist who sells life insurance on the side. He swears that what he's about to do has never been done on the show, but a lot of martial training went into it. It is... face... and hand... contorting. And the Fifth Judge isn't feeling it. Howard isn't either. Or Howie. He gets four nos. A nice rendition of "Yesterday" makes it through. Shame we don't know who he is. But we will. Next is Larry Callahan & Selected of God Choir (Detroit), a gospel choir who are of the comeback mentality. They work together. They struggle together. And they're going to be singing together "The Prayer". They have a great tone about them, but they are a little sharp. Mel was waiting for an act like this. Shame she already used her Golden Buzzer. Howard thought it was "superior" and "perfected". They get 4 yeses! "Are you a couple?" Awwwwwwwwwwwbarf. The spotlight in this act is this act: Duo Volta (31-34; restaurant server & consultant), a static trapeze act who's been training longer than they've been dating (just four months). Her life is in his hands. Oh, did we mention they broke up two months ago? Apparently their relationship off the trapeze was affecting their act. Let's see if absence did indeed make the heart grow fonder. The act was pretty much old hat until the reverse gravity flip and grab. That was worth seeing again. Howie thought it was spectacular, but the guy was stupid for leaving her ("That's actually what SHE said!"). They get through. But man is that guy stupid. She's HOT! He blew it! Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti (29; chef; Chicago) is a competitive eater. You may have seen him at the Hot Dog Eating Contest last week. Nobody has attempted what he's going to do tonight... which may involve barfing. He is drinking raw eggs. 120 of them. We hae chuck buckets at the ready.... but he's downed all of them. Howie is strangely intrigued. Heidi is amazed... I guess. Howard liked it. It's a 2-1 split pending Mel's vote... YES! And now he's gonna vomit. Now let's rock with Three Shades of Blue (19-21; Morgantown, PA), a band of brothers. The three brothers were the oldest of nine kids. They'd always escape to the basement to write and play music. Now they're hoping to translate the fan worship into a career. Howard's been looking for a good rock band for a while now. Let's see how good they are with "Feeling Good". They can play in the classic style a la the Who and the Stones, but the vocal needs work. Still, they know how to rock it. Howard says that his time had come. Mel B liked the band, but the song has been done vocally better elsewhere. Four yeses! We've seen an Evil Chicken get buzzed, Septimius the Great get buzzed, Latin Swag get buzzed. What about The Gem City Jewels (26-31; hairdressers)? They say they have IT. I don't know what they have, but with moves like... that... and voices like... those. They have something, but it isn't IT. BUZZ THEM HATERS OFF, people. Pretty Big (full figure dance company) was started to give a platform to the lovely lady lumped ladies. Tonight, the stage is their platform, dancing to "Get Up Offa That Thing". They are together. That's the start of something. Mel thinks it's "bloody brilliant" and "inspiring". They get four pretty big yeses. Joining them: Aaron Smyth (dancer), Craig & Micheline (dancing), and the Move (dancing). That's one deep-voiced woman. Oh, a drag queen? Oh, okay. So what other singers do we have? We have not your typical boyband. For one, they aren't boys. They're Vox (25-35), singers who met in college, but they've only been together as a group for a month. They'll be singing "Nessun Dorma". In harmony. In tone. In pitch. Could we have finally found the million dollar act? Howie said they feel a lot of power, calling them "the classiest boy band there is." Mel thought it was a home run. Heidi's a big fan of these guys. Howard was pleasantly surprised. Together, it adds up to a ticket to the next round. Have we saved the best for last? We'll find out as Nick decides to strut a bit before we meet Joanna Kennedy (47; Boulder, CO; passion & intimacy expert), who will be teaching kissing... to Nick. (C-Note: RATINGS MOMENT!) This has to be at least better than the professional cuddler. Joanna proves her professionalism by bringing out a blow-up doll. He'd rather have an old lady. Instead, Howard brings up... a random audience member with enormous... lung capacity. Maybe we should just leave. But not before Howard, Howie, and Mel decide to stop the act prematurely. WHAT. IS. THIS. MADNESS. His kiss gets a buzz from Heidi. Joanna's not going through to the next round, but Nick's going home with his... uh... new friend? Okay, that's it for the auditions. Next up, it's the Callback Round. And if you think you had it easy. You think you know this round. You think you know what America wants? THINK AGAIN. Because joining the panel... Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Buble, Marlon Wayans, and Piers Morgan. It's put up or get cut next time. To see tonight's episode in its entirety, or to apply to be a contestant on the next season, go to www.nbc.com/gottalent. |
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