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| MONDAY | TUESDAY | WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY | WEEKEND | PRIMETIME | SCHEDULE | ARCHIVES: 30 90 | WLTI | STATE OF PLAY | ABOUT | |||||
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Previous Episodes May 26 June 2 |
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A supermodel, a Spice Girl, a comic cut-up, and the self-proclaimed King of all Media criss-cross the country in search of million-dollar talent. Recaps by Chico Alexander, Lee DiGeorge & Gordon Pepper, GSNN
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Auditions 3 June 9 |
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(C-Note: some of the acts that you are
about to read involve real danger in front of a live television audience. They were
designed, practiced, and supervised by professionals, taking the
contestants' safety into full account. They are extremely dangerous and
should NEVER be attempted anywhere, by anyone, at any time.) Another night of talent is upon us. Will we see the Million Dollar Act this week? Come with me... Before we get to our rundown, I'd like to share a conversation had between myself and my co-editor & accomplice Gordon (who you'll hear more from as the season goes on)... G: "I don't know if you're watching AGT, but the Media Ho Offender button is working overtime." C: "Where've you been these last two weeks? Nothing BUT repeat offenders. America has run out of talent. So they're taking it from other shows." G: "And other countries." Admittedly, I was watching "Are You Smarter" and "Hell's Kitchen", strictly for editorial purposes, I assure you. I don't usually watch AGT until it becomes available on the NBC app (usually the next day). So right now I, along with you, am going to see how accurate Gordon is (C-Note: for the record, I know Gordon is accurate, because... well, he usually is. It's just a matter of to what scale). First on stage is DJ Smart, who merges video mapping with dancing. Hopefully we see what he's thinking of. I don't know who's doing the mapping behind the scenes, but they could do an infinitely better job. The real magic begins when he conjures up a woman toward the end of the routine. Hopefully it gets better as the season goes on. But for all we know, this could be his only shot. It's a very beautiful dance number, but the effects need to be sweetened a bit. Howie, who is non-plussed usually by dance acts, is ... plussed? The rest of the judges feel likewise, as they pass him through. Paul Zerdin (42; London, UK) is a ventriloquist who used to do magic before getting into puppets. He's been a big fan of Sesame Street, which triggered his love of ventriloquism. His dream is to be the next Terry Fator, but he's worried about being not funny. I'd worry more about the puppet upstaging you with his "talk" of the judges' rudeness. He's actually one of the better puppeteers to come from this show, though he needs to work on controlling his controlling hand. It's usually a good sign when NBC is flashing your Twitter handle on screen (@PaulZerdin). The judges give him a standing O and a quartet of yeses. After a trip to the green room... run on a donut that we can't say (C-Note: Because 1) GSNN runs on Krispy Kreme, and 2) said sponsoring donut joint is not paying us), we get a drag act & a pair of dance acts that've been elsewhere we're sure and a pair of dancers, one of them 96. Meet Tao Porchon-Lynch & Vard (96, 26). Vard is a dance teacher, and Tao... will be 97 in August, God willing. She was born and raise in India, became a model in France, and was in pictures with Marilyn. Together, they're ballroom dancers, so let's see what six years of dancing together gets'em. It starts classy, but as soon as Pitbull's "Fireball" starts playing, it gets... dirty. She's... well, we'll say she's very nimble. VERY nimble. Very easy pass there. Alondra Santos (13; El Monte, CA) is part of a mariachi ensemble of all her family members. She loves singing "to the moon and back". Her family loves karaoke, so it'll be interesting to see how she does on stage by herself. She's got quite a set of pipes on her, but it sounds a little heavy-handed for my liking. I mean, you don't expect a voice like that from a 13-year-old girl. I'm sure it'll get a little polish as the competition goes on, but the judges like it enough to send it to the next round. Interesting that the judges love her story more than the act itself. Judging by who the producers are talking to in the holding area, we're going to see a singer next. Ellen & Terry, aka The Orchids (36, 49; Tulsa) met at karaoke, and they say it's about to be on and poppin'. Their 90 seconds go to "Girls Just Want to Have Fun". And I just want to get this over as quickly as possible... Come on, Howard... come on... There's the fourth buzz. These Orchids are plucked... but not before the Third Orchid comes out to join the group. Come now, Nick, you're just encouraging them. More girls (?) coming next with Scott Heierman (25; Lexington, KY; pizza delivery boy), who does comedy about being adopted, being 300 pounds, and being jealous by people who were not... any of those things. The best comedy, I've always found, was self-deprecating. This is the funniest man... in the room tonight. Mel B enjoyed it. Howie wants to see him in the club (not like that). Heidi thought it was fabulous. Howard thought it was the whole package. No pun intended. He.. or she... he... gets the pass. Next as we begin hour 2 is Michael John (26; Los Angeles), a magician who got started almost 20 years ago. Besides magic, he also loves baseball. He almost went pro, but he wasn't happy unless he was honing his magical craft. A lot is riding on the next 90 seconds, as Mel B joins him on stage for a card trick. She takes her card, the ace of hearts, and bites down on it. Michael is going to take the 4 of spades and do the same thing. If he did this right.... the cards... switch! Next trick... Mel B hits SM's initials onto his chest. Now a close-up magician won the whole thing last year, but that was for lack of better acts. This guy's gonna have to step it up. He will, but first, the yes from the panel... and thank you. Dance acts are getting in by the boatloads. How will Ouahib Arkoub (30; Algeria), a cab driver, fare? He says he's energetic and fun to watch.... He says a lot of things. His hips (or lack thereof) don't lie. Howard buzzes. He's the only one. What kind of world are we living in when the voice of reason is Howard Stern? He dances some more, this time with Howie. Now because the panel did not buzz him out, they are obligated to judge the act. They don't. So we're left to surmise that he doesn't. Because we would've heard otherwise, right? RIGHT?! LA Children's Orchestra is up on stage next. They play a mean buzzer, but they'd rather hear more beautiful tones. We get their version of "Eleanor Rigby"... which is good... for a group of students barely into their teens. The fact that they're moving in circles... well, I get that they're supposed to be adding a new dimension, but it just sounds sloppy. The judges beg to differ. They're through. Next, Chicago's Ultimate Tumblers (which we've seen before.. somewhere), Pitch Slapped (from either "Sing It On" or "The Sing-Off"), and Rhythmic Circus (which we haven't seen ... anywhere) get through, but the focus is really on Heidi being... her sweet little self. Leroy Patterson (31; Downey, CA) is a self-describe "pain junkie". And has been since the day he was born. He likes getting slammed into various things to the point where he's dislocated his jaw. "Oh, there will be blood." Thanks for the spoiler, Leroy. He shows us dedication to his craft by taking his clothes off, throwing down 5000 thumbtacks... and falling on top of them. TWICE. Among other things. Heidi's done. And sure enough, he's bleeding. Yeah, we're gonna need the Clorox. Mel B & Howie say yes. WHY. Heidi says no. It's about Howard now... he gives him his third yes. He gets to the next round, but I'm willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that he makes it no further. Vladimir & Vladimir aka Duo Vladimir (Ukraine) are acrobats named... Vladimir. They've been performing for 7 years. Vladimir has a three-year-old son, while Vladimir is a new father of a daughter. They say that this next act is dangerous, and if done incorrectly, could lead to serious injury. No kidding. Did we mention that it also involves knives in their mouths and balancing the tips of said knives?? Because that's important. They have balance. They have strength. What they lack is coordination. We've seen acts like this done before... and better. Still, it'll be interesting to see if they have anything else in their sheaths (as opposed to their sleeves, because they're not wearing shirts). Next stop, next round. Sharon Irving (29; Chicago)'s grandfather marched with Dr. King. She's really shy, but her grandfather told her to step out of the church and into the limelight. She's going to take us to church with the night's closer... Hozier's "Take Me To Church". The irony of this song choice is that it's about religion's rejection of homosexuality. But Sharon, whose grandmother passed recently, sells the hell out of this song to the point that Mel B does something that she says she's never done (at least didn't do last season)... GOLDEN BUZZER! @SharonIrving, through to Live Shows! So to answer the over-arching question... this show is the epitome of the American dream. We have acts from all corners of the globe and all turns of the dial, only to end up here. It'll be interesting to see what recycled acts we find next week. Or who knows, maybe the act of the night will be something we've never seen before.. To see tonight's episode in its entirety, or to apply to be a contestant on the next season, go to www.nbc.com/gottalent. |
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