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with Chris Wolvie
THE GUINNESS GAME
Breaking Records (No Vinyl Discs Necessary)
April 13
In the next thirty minutes, you'll see three people attempt to break world records. You'll see all this and more today on...
 

SHOW: THE GUINESS GAME
AIR DATES: September 17, 1979 to September ??, 1980
CREATOR: David Paradine/Hill-Eubanks Group
HOST: Bob Hilton (for a time); Don Galloway (replaced him)
WATCH IT AT: YouTube

 

I confess that, when I was younger, I was all but OBSESSED with the Guinness Book of World Records. I would thumb through the paperback copy the family had and marvel at all the different ways people can set records. And this started by a stinkin' BEER company. I learned that the longest surname in the world had 490 letters in it, that the heaviest man that ever lived weighed over half a ton...and that Peter Dowdeswell was the biggest glutton on the plant with almost every eating record they had. So when I stumbled upon "The Guinness Game" one Saturday night, I was in! I mean, they had prime time specials on network TV once or twice a year...but now we can watch people trying to break world records EVERY WEEK! Looking back, it was a simple game; nothing to write home (or write a column) about...but it was the RECORDS that stole the show.

HOW WAS IT PLAYED?
MAIN GAMEPLAY
Three contestants played. Each were staked $1000 to start. The host would then introduce a possible record-breaking attempt and explain the details behind it. Then he asks the contestants if the attempt will "succeed" or "fail" and to make a wager no more than 90% of their current stake. They are given about ten seconds to lock in predictions and write down wagers on a cardboard card. With predictions and bets locked in, the attempt begins (although, if it's a particularly long or difficult attempt, it's sometimes started while the host is explaining). Depending on how the attempt goes, the contestants win or lose money towards their stake.

Two more attempts at world records are made on the set, each with the contestants predicting their success or failure. For the third round, the bets are hidden until the attempt ends. At the end of three rounds, the contestant with the most money in their stake wins the game and keeps the cash. The maximum one can win is $6859 (and that's if they wager the full 90% each time and get it right).

BONUS ROUND
The winner gets the opportunity to predict one final record-breaking attempt (usually shown outside the studio when the attempt is particularly big). After being explained about the attempt, all they have to do is predict if the attempt will succeed or fail. If they are right, they win a vacation for two to an exotic (for the time) location.

The host then ends the show by saying "...when The Guinness Game returns in exactly 167 hours, (so-and-so) minutes and (such-and-such) seconds...and you can bet on that!" The host gives the ACTUAL amount of time until the show comes back.



WHAT WORKED?
As stated, it was the attempts that made the game show. Could a group of people make a wedding dress in under four minutes? Could two people saw through three blocks of ice and two logs in under 40 seconds? Could someone speak the entire "To be or not to be" soliloquy in less than a minute? Could a bunch of guys launch a man on a human catapult over 30 other nervous people? The tension was palpable...I prayed it would last.

The actual "set" was kinda small in comparison to the rest of the studio...but that WORKED, since some of the attempts required a lot of space.

Never saw Bob Hilton hosting; was always Don Galloway. And, while he seemed a bit wooden, he knew that this wasn't about him; it was about the attempts. In that sense, he did his job rather well.

And I wonder how many people ACTUALLY timed when the host gave the time 'til the next show to see if he was right? Perhaps, had I been older, I would've tried.



WHAT DIDN'T WORK?
The music, while in the disco sound of the 70s and early 80s, were lifted from other shows. They couldn't afford their own music? After all they saved on the "set"?

Most of the attempts were one-and-done. Now I understand that was done for time constraints but...I'd like to think they could've tried, like, three times and they only SHOWED the winning attempt or the LAST attempt if they failed. Sadly, it doesn't look that way. What if the folks got NERVOUS working in front of an audience? 

And, as I said, the game itself was dirt-simple. Bet on an attempt succeeding or failing...get it right, win money...get the most money, win the game. I'm thinking that some of the people un-enamored by the record attempts saw this and said, "What?! What kind of crap game IS this?!" And that's probably why it didn't last; not everyone was like me.



WOULD IT WORK TODAY?
As cool as I think it would be, I don't see it happening. I mean, these days, people make up world records on the fly...and they set it so that no sensible person or people would even THINK about trying to break it. No one's gonna want to try...so why bother making a game around the attempts? Sure, some MAY wanna give it a crack...but not enough to make a long-lasting show around.



NEXT TIME: You think you know the music of a different decade better than those who GRADUATED then? Well,...

Chris Wolvie attempting a record for being the first immortal...so far, so good. Follow him on Twitter @ChrisWolvie and e-mail him at chriswolvie@yahoo.com.