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December 14

I'll be straight out of the gate: I have never much cared for "The Newlywed Game." I didn't like it when Bob Eubanks hosted, when any of the other hosts did, when Bob hosted again, or this current version.

Most of that stems from the fact that I don't think it is terribly interesting to watch husbands and wives tell the more intimate details of their lives for a paltry prize package, but that's besides the point.

Recently, a featured video on Alex Davis's Buzzerblog site showed a man answering the question "What does your husband do better than your ex?" The husband says "Australia," and then proceeds to explain that Australia is (to him, anyway) a euphemism for "going down there," that is to say, intercourse. This goes on for a couple of minutes (and we later find out that the couple's parents were in the audience) and finally, one of the other husbands asks, incredulously, "Australia?"

I have news for everyone: The Newlywed Game is known for slaughtering sacred cows. If you're going on a game show to win a trip by telling about what goes on behind closed doors, then don't insult our intelligence by calling it "Australia." Own up to it and call it what it is.

Travis Eberle needs more than a washer and dryer combo to tell about his, well, I guess this bit doesn't work. Send e-mail to