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Lies My Blogger Told Me
February 11
I know this is hard to
believe, but I'm not the only one who's blogging about game shows. Some
of them are insightful, some are fatuous, but in this case, I would go
so far as to say some are dangerous. The entry on a particular website
had “ten things game shows won't tell you.” I won't name the website,
but since you're smart enough to read this, you can do a little google-fu,
you can find the original.
Essentially there are ten things that game shows won't tell you, and the
overarching thesis of the article is that going on a game show is an
arduous trial and not worth your time. I disagree. Without people
appearing on game shows, there wouldn't be any game shows. So I will now
dispel and dispute the claims of this bit of electronic effluvium.
The first paragraph is about how boring you are to all concerned. No
lie: game shows want people that we can root for, or root against. Any
game show is going to ask you for a few tidbits from your life so that
the host can spend a few moments in amiable chit chat before getting
back into game play. If you cannot come up with five decent
conversational thumbnails about your life, you probably won't get
picked. But I can't think of someone in my sphere of family or friends
that doesn't have a wacky collection, or predilection, or brush with
celebrity. Something. Without those little fleshings-out, contestants
just become cogs in the machine, and I'd prefer they weren't. The
writers say that you're lousy on camera; that you don't show enough
energy when you win or lose. Frankly, I'd like to see contestants who
are real, who display actual emotion, and not caricatures who swoon and
prance around the set.
Yes, you must pay taxes on your winnings. Yes, if you're a dumbass and
spend the money you win without putting some aside, you will be in a
boatload of trouble. Just ask Richard Hatch. Their contention is that
since the game show doesn't come right out and say “You will have to pay
taxes on the twenty-five thousand dollar grand prize,” that they're
being deceitful. I don't buy it: my job takes a cut of my paycheck, and
I don't go around huffy about it. The writers also claim that the prize
values are inflated, but if you win “$40,000” of car, and can prove that
your SUV could be purchased at a local dealer for $32,950, then you
would only pay taxes on that amount, and not the listed value.
But at least you might win something. Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune and
Millionaire all have $1,000 minimums. You could show up, not answer a
single thing right, and you'll take home pocket money, or at least
enough to cover the cost of travel and lodging. With the exception of
The Price is Right, gone are the days of Rice-a-Roni, Turtle Wax and the
Encyclopedia Britannica going home with departing contestants. Companies
aren't providing cases of Certs anymore, and I'm sure people would
rather be able to pay for the trip than to take home a bunch of random
stuff.
Another on their laundry list of problems is that taping the show takes
a long time. So what? You're there with a chance to win tens of
thousands of dollars, and your flight isn't until tomorrow. That's a
terrific hourly rate even if you flame out and just win that $1,000.
Soak up the experience. Don't worry if there are some people who are
trying to make a living as “professional game show contestant.” Don't
worry if your reflexes aren't as good as your knowledge. Don't worry
about some dipstick blog commenter giving you a hard time whether you
win or lose.
If you manage to get on a game show, you've won already. Don't worry
about anything else other than having a good time, because if you do
that, you can take home that prize to your friends and family for years
and years.
You can ask Travis Eberle about his audition experience by dropping
him a line at
traviseberle@gmail.com. |
