Episode 28.5 - A Little Learning with Mr. Pepper
October 10

Jason: THE MOON! :)
Chico: Anyway, welcome back to the show, thanks for being a part of our week and allowing us to be a part of yours. Now... it was a very special week this week for an 80s classic. The definitive kids' game show of the last 30 years if not EVER... celebrated its 25th anniversary.
Jason: Double Dare!
Chico: That of course being Double Dare. It's going to take a while before we see that again, but until we do, we get a whole slew of kid-centric game shows. Sad to say that none of them come remotely close to holding a candle. Well, some do. But Double Dare is a classic. You can't touch that.
Gordon: And with the influx of new kiddie shows coming in, we figure that all of the people who want to make a show need to know something.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: And so... here now we present the 6 Things We Think You Should Know about creating, developing, and otherwise running... a kid's game show.
Jason: Oh cool! This is teaching :)
Chico: This IS teaching.
Gordon: I'll start.

1. The game needs to be something kids will watch

Gordon: Just educational isn't enough.
Jason: Loud, Silly...exactly :)
Chico: It also has to be fun... colorful... crazy.
Jason: The best kids shows make the kid say...I WANT TO BE...THERE.
Chico: I want to run the obstacle course. I want to be in the Finders Keepers house. I want to run the FUn House. I want to slide down the Braindrain.
Jason: I want to do the Bop-tagon.
Chico: That's what she said.
Jason: OH!
Chico: Next...

2. The host has to be an overgrown kid as well.

Chico: You'll get nowhere if your host can't relate to the players.
Jason: He has to be the "doofus older brother/fun uncle" type. The best example was to me JD Roth of Fun House. He was SO good at it it was scary.
Chico: He was the cool older brother. What was he, 19 when he hosted FH? My mistake.. he was 20.
Jason: TO be that good at 20 was scary.
Chico: You know how old Seacrest was when he got Gladiators 2000? 19. He was another cool older brother.
Jason: Summers.. older uncle?
Chico: As for Marc Summers, he was America's crazy uncle.
Jason: Same with Todd Newton. But you can't talk down to the kids. They will SMELL that in a second!
Chico: Jack Barry, on the other hand was Jack Barry. And as good as he is, he sucks with kids.
Gordon: Yep. Keep them young. Next one...

3. Make it something you can play at home with the parents - WITHOUT the TV being on

Chico: Of course.
Jason: Why do you think Minute to Win IT was so popular with kids?
Chico: They could try it at home.
Jason: BINGO. Kids love to make up their own versions of games.
Chico: Like, here's the instructions, here's the things you need, HAVE AT IT.
Jason: Or try it. It fuels the competitive spirit.
Gordon: In the same vein: Double Dare, Silent Library
Chico: Family Game Night, of course.
Jason: Because they are versions of home games.
Chico: Easy. Next...

4. PLEASE don't hide behind a pretense.

Chico: Kids are smarter than you give them credit for.
Jason: How do you mean?
Chico: If they sense something's not quite right, they'll tune out in droves. You notice that Majors & Minors wasn't on the schedule this week? For a talent competition... it's not that competitive.
Gordon: See The Glee Project and Our Little Geniuses, which got the gate.
Chico: Granted, it'll return on the 23rd, but I wonder for how long? Don't try and be something you're not. Pictureka and Finders Keepers? They were search and seize. Simple as that. Make the Grade... Jeopardy! for kids.
Gordon: Scrabble is Scrabble. Life is...I don't know what it is.
Chico: Life is a mistake. That's a prime example of hiding behind a pretense.
Jason: Got it :)
Chico: You want to talk about robbing me with a false prospectus? That's it, right there. Next one...

5. Longevity is based on Marketability. Fine, it's learning. It also has to sell.

Chico: Double Dare sold a lot.
Jason: It's not just about the show. Its about the games, toys, shirts, et al
Chico: Home games, video games, pocket games, books, T-shirts.
Gordon: How many Gazillions of Dollars did Carmen Sandiego make?
Jason: A BOATLOAD
Chico: Carmen Sandiego... don't even get me started on that.
Jason: It made money even before the PBS Game.
Chico: The games, the cartoon, the single of the theme music. You know you love it.
Jason: It has to be a platform to launch other things.
Chico: And finally...

6. No fake junk. We want real kids with real emotion and real enthusiasm.

Chico: You notice how we turned on the first class of kids on Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Why was that? Oh yeah! Because they were actors playing roles.
Jason: Remember that interview we did a few years back?
Chico: Prime example right there.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: Successive classes were better about it. And they were... hello, real kids. Go figure.
Gordon: So that's 6 things you need to know. When we come back, 6 things people need to learn
Jason: Good stuff
Chico: MORE LEARNING after this..

(Brought to you by Bubble Dare. Try doing Physical Challenges when you're in a 20 foot bathtub,)

Chico: I could do it. I need a ladder, though.
Jason: (hands Chico the GSNN Aluminum Ladder)
Chico: NICE!
Jason: BTW, Like the Logos on it?
Chico: Is this every game since the beginning?
Jason: Big ladder...lots of Logos
Gordon: To finish the lesson, I give out homework in the form of resolutions. Call this civic service.
Jason: I like Civics
Chico: I like service.
Gordon: Chico, start it off.
Chico: Okay...

Let's say you're a celebrity looking to dance on television. How do you get people to like you?

Chico: Well... first of all, you have to be LIKABLE.
Jason: And you have to have to have a good backstory
Chico: If people are already sick of you, that won't help.
Gordon: And then get plastic surgery with the dude that does all the Bachelor women.
Chico: And do us all a favor and wear it proudly. So resolved: you were chosen to be on a reality show... IT'S TIME TO GET REAL.
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: Next one...

America's Next Top Model All-Stars. Their ratings are falling off the Catwalk (and H8R isn't helping). How do they get help?

Jason: Again...be real.
Chico: How about not loving you some you so damned much. Remember when Ramsay brought back that one guy into Hell's Kitchen? Robert? He said straight up, "I'm giving you another chance, but you are starting from zERO."
Gordon: Have half a brain and be likable. You knew this season was going to be problematric when they brought back the 'Most Controversial; people, but not the ones we wanted to see come back.
Chico: Agreed.
Jason: Thats a big strike.
Chico: I'd like to see Elyse from season 1 again. THAT's not happening.
Gordon: That's what all the all-stars have been. I want GOOD contestants not NOTABLE ones. There's a difference.
Chico: Resolved: forget notable, we just want good. Next...

While we're on the subject of moves not helping... Anna Kournikova was supposed to be the jolt in the arm of the Biggest Loser.

Gordon: We don't want nice, We want mean and effective,
Jason: Thats why Jillian works :)
Chico: Then NCIS, Dancing with the Stars, and baseball came in. People tune in for conflict. We've yet to see any. We want fire and ice, not flowers and other things that feel nice, though I bet she does feel nice. =p
Gordon: And Anna just hasn't been effective. Being given the old geezers doesn't help
Chico: Dirty old men. :-)
Jason: Exactly.
Gordon: So resolved: Make her better than AK - Very pretty, rarely wins.
Chico: Nice poker reference.
Gordon: Thank you. Next one?
Chico: Next one...

TPIR had a very special episode on Friday in its Ford Warriors in Pink episode... but it didn't feel special. Probably because people actually won stuff, but how can we make such shows even better?

Jason: Don't force the theme. Make it organic
Gordon: The best themes come naturally - like our episode.
Chico: Yep. It was just pink all over the place. That's all they needed. BTW... you like the logo for the page? It's subtle but present. That's the idea. It's pink, it'll stay that way all through October.
Gordon: Exactly.
Jason: Right on the money.
Chico: So resolved: LESS IS MORE.
Gordon: Next one...

Million Dollar Mind Game. The first show to be burned off on Sundays - WITHOUT A SINGLE EPISODE BEING AIRED.

Chico: Where. Do. I. Begin. Okay, so you want to put on a game show... You should probably make certain that it's worth putting on before you commit to it!
Jason: And maybe make a show people want to watch
Chico: Preferably one without Vernon Kay.
Jason: Yeah
Chico: Want people to watch? Make it watchable.
Jason: nods
Gordon: Resolved: You know Research and Development? Do some of that before greenlighting a game show.
Chico: And finally?
Gordon: Last one...

The Yankees (Sniff, sniff, sniff)

Chico: It's okay... it's okay...
Jason: Seriously. Resign everyone and send AJ Burnett to Siberia
Chico: Tell John Sterling to sit down and shut up?
Gordon: I like John STerling. We need pitching besides CC and Nova
Jason: And Hughes
Chico: Yeah, the mound wasn't stacked. AT ALL.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: Depth. look into it
Gordon: Resolved: Get starting pitching
Chico: And with that, we're going to pitch a Speed Round right after this...

(Brought to by the iSad 2. ... as in iSad 2 C Steve Jobs leave us....)

(Silence)

Chico: .... Thank you.
Gordon: Speed Round starts...NOW! Survivor: Who's heading off to Redemption Island Recess?
Jason: Cochran
Chico: Brandon
Gordon: I'll say one of each. DWTS: Who needs to go to Charm School?
Chico: ... that dumb bum Rob Kardashian needs to go
Jason: Sounds right.
Chico: Him or that Nancy Grace chick. Let her argue about why she was voted off again. I think we're all over her "arguments"
Gordon: I'll go with that. Jeopardy: Will Joon stay the head of the class?
Chico: I think he lasts three more games.
Jason: I say 2. But he leaves with more than 200K.
Gordon: I'll go with that. Any notes to the teacher?
Chico: Yes. Bill and Cathi need to stop falling. And Marcus needs to stop loving him some him.
Gordon: And that wraps up this episode. Special thanks to Jason Block for joining us.
Jason: Glad to be here :)
Gordon: Next week - we get spooky.
Chico: Ooh.
Jason: I am scared
Chico: you should be. For everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander... game over, and spread the love :-)