Game Show Newsnet

Episode 28.2 - East Coast West Coast Beef
September 19

Chico: Got to get the cash. Gotta get the dough.
Gordon: Somehow, I think they'll be fine.
Chico: Oh yeah. Vegas'll take care of'em. They took care of Fighting Gravity, right?
Gordon: Yes. And now we need to take care of business.
Chico: Yep. This Monday is the season debut of Dancing with the Stars.
Gordon: Now every season,we have our Dancing with the Stars predictions.
Chico: Of course. Usually, we go like "first out" or "middle" or "winner". But this season has been a bit of a wet diaper... We won't go into why... "Dr." Keith Ablow... but it gives me the idea of bringing out the baby board for a little Who's Your Daddy... Dancing with Morons edition.
Gordon: Let's do it.
Chico: Let's start with the one that made headlines over the last weekend and made the graphic guys a little pissed...

METTA WORLD PEACE with Peta Murgatroyd.

Chico: Yes, that's her name. And as of Friday, yes, that's HIS (the former Ron Artest's) name.
Gordon: He's not playing with a fully inflated basketball
Chico: I suspect he never was.
Gordon: But I don't think he's going to be a complete dud here.
Chico: Neither do I. Athletes tend to do reallly well. The rest of the list we'll go over in alphabetical order.
Gordon: They do. Next one is...David Arquette
Chico: Partnered with Kym Johnson. Okay... Kym's been a little skittish for a former champion of both the US and the Australian versions of the show. I'm going to say BELOW Metta World Peace.
Gordon: I think he'll do ok. I don't think his spotlight in the media (divorcing Courney Cox) is goign to help. I think Artest edges him out.

Metta/Peta < DAVID/KYM

Chico: Next up... another little firecracker... and I'm not talking about his skills... CHAZ BONO & Lacey Schwimmer.
Gordon: Don't go talking about Chaz's firecracker.
Chico: Heh. He's gotten a lot of press, no thanks to the fine folks at Fox News. Does that translate into votes, though?
Gordon: I think what he's doing is great for his community. That being said, I think he is going to be outshined by a gay icon. Bottom.
Chico: I know which one.
Gordon: There's only one other one up there :P
Chico: I know. I'm just saying.

Metta/Peta < David/Kym < CHAZ/LACEY

Gordon: Elisabetta Canalis
Chico: Model. paired with a Chmerkovskiy. I imagine he'll be going back to hosting the Cube soon.
Gordon: You can say it, Chico.
Chico: WHO?
Gordon: Unless she performs early, first one out, Bottom.

Metta/Peta < David/Kym < Chaz/Lacey < WHO?!/VAL

Chico: Next, Kristin Cavallari and Mark Ballas. I think Mark will be a good ft for her, but what happens when she actually has to work it? I think she goes between David and Chaz.
Gordon: I agree. There is a Hills following, as seen from Audrina Partridge last season.

Metta/Peta < David/Kym < KRISTIN/MARK < Chaz/Lacey < Elisabetta/Val

Gordon: Next up...Nancy Grace
Chico: AAAAAH! KILL IT WITH FIRE! Sorry, what I meant to say was...I believe she comes equipped with her own fan base and many of them watch this show, so there's a serious threat matrix to be considered. So... OVER David, but under World Peace.
Gordon: I agree. Her fan base is RABID. Look what it did to Bristol Palin last season. I'm going to say over Metta. She's a legit candidate to win.
Chico: Looks like we're going to the tiebreaker. ... Call it in the air.
Gordon: Tails
Chico: Tails it is.

NANCY/TRISTAN < Metta/Peta < David/Kym < Kristin/Mark < Chaz/Lacey < Elisabetta/Val

Chico: Next... another Kardashian. Before you get excited, it's ROB Kardashian. But he's partnered with the winner-maker. Rob & Cheryl...I'm going to say David Arquette better watch his back. Between Metta and David.
Gordon: How have the Kardashian clan done on this show?
Chico: Let's put it to you this way... for a dancer, Kim Kardashian is a woman who's known for having a big ass and a sex tape.
Gordon: I think the 'heatthrob' is going to get trumped by another heartthrob, but I think he'll do ok. Midpack. Under Kristin
Chico: Okay so split the difference...

Nancy/Tristan < Metta/Peta < David/Kym < ROB/CHERYL < Kristin/Mark < Chaz/Lacey > elisabetta/Val

Chico: Next is your favorite...and mine...Carson Kressley. Back on ABC Mondays.
Gordon: well, not my favorite, but I think he's going to do extremely well. He's in the Top 4. Top spot for now.
Chico: Good spot for him.

CARSON/ANNA < Nancy/Tristan < Metta/Peta < David/Kym < Rob/Cheryl < Kristin/Mark < Chaz/Lacey < elisabetta/Val

Chico: Looking good for former game show host. How about former game show marathon host? Ricki Lake.... and Derek Hough.
Gordon: She's got a following. I just don't think the dance skills are going to be enough here. Right under Metta
Chico: I think Ricki's going to crack. She's not quite in dancing shape. Under Kristin. Split the difference again...

Carson/Anna < Nancy/Tristan < Metta/Peta < David/Kym < Rob/Cheryl < RICKI/DEREK < Kristin/Mark < Chaz/Lacey < elisabetta/Val

Chico: Who's next?
Gordon: JR Martinez, Soldier turned All My Children Actor.
Chico: Can I say it now?
Gordon: Sure.
Chico: With all due respect to soldiers everywhere... WHO?!
Gordon: Oh no. I think we may have a slight disagreement here. What I thought you were going to say is...WINNER.
Chico: Could be. I mean, I can see how corporate service, civil service, and service to a guy who's TV show is about to go down the tubes is going to be well... served.
Gordon: Soap Star, he can dance. You know he has a Military background as he was injured in battle with burns covering 40% of his body,
Chico: He's perfect for this show. And Karina knows how to work dirty. Just putting that there.
Gordon: And you have the soap opera voters. I think he's in your Top 4 and the leader to win. Especially since this year's crop is, shall we say...lite. Top.

JR/KARINA < Carson/Anna < Nancy/Tristan < Metta/Peta < David/Kym < Rob/Cheryl < Ricki/Derek < Kristin/Mark < Chaz/Lacey < elisabetta/Val

Chico: Chynna Phillips is next. The requisite has-been of the group.
Gordon: I think Carnie Wilson would have been a fascinating read here, yes?
Chico: VERY fascinating.
Gordon: However, we don't have that.
Chico: Chynna Phillips... not so much. You remember when she was the hot one?
Gordon: I see an early Belinda Carlisle-like exit. Over Elisabetta
Chico: Agreed.
Gordon: She's still hot. Just obscure.

JR/Karina < Carson/Anna < Nancy/Tristan < Metta/Peta < David/Kym < Rob/Cheryl < Ricki/Derek < Kristin/Mark < Chaz/Lacey < Chynna/Tony < Elisabetta/Val

Chico: FINALLY...Hope Solo. I think Maks may actually have a shot to win this.
Gordon: I do too, She should be in the Top 4 without a question, Right under JR
Chico: Good call. He's been the Steve Carell at the Emmys of the group: always the bridesmaid... NEVER the bride. So the final tally. JR Martinez and Karina Smirnoff is going to be your daddy, followed by...

Hope/Maks < Carson/Anna < Nancy/Tristan < Metta/Peta < David/Kym < Rob/Cheryl < Ricki/Derek < Kristin/Mark < Chaz/Lacey....

Chico: And this year's dragon butt.... Elisabetta Cunning Linguist and Maks' little brother. We're gonna get letters.
Gordon: We'll see how that works out in a few months., Meanwhile, We'll bring in or bathroom supplies - next!

(Brought to you by the XY Factor... America's search for the next hot guy with guitar (TM) )

Gordon: Hosted by Jason Block?
Chico: I'd watch.
Gordon: I would too. I would watch toilets also, so I may not be a good judge. As a matter of fact, here comes one now.
Chico: *Hamsters wheel in SuperToilet*
Gordon: whoo hoo!
Chico: We're going to clear out the list this week. Let's start with...

THE BIGGEST LOSER NBC - 8p ET Tuesdays
CHICO	GORDON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH

Gordon: Push of course. I want to see Anna do her thing...oh who am I kidding? I just want to see Anna.
Chico: I'm actually going to cover this season. ... Anna Kournikova MIGHT have something to do with it. PUSH. (FF victory cue)
Gordon: Good casting move.
Chico: You want to see Anna do SOMETHING... YOU know.
Gordon: (Comes out with Jello) what makes you say that?
Chico: NEXT SHOW!

THE X FACTOR Fox - 8p ET Wednesdays & Thursdays
CHICO	GORDON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH

Chico: Simon Cowell... He's baaaaaaaaaack. PUSH.
Gordon: Trepidatious Push here. How many music shows can we have?
Chico: Music shows or GOOD music shows? Because this week alone.. TWO good music shows. Next...

THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER: TEAM BISPING vs. TEAM MILLER Spike - 10p ET Wednesdays
CHICO	GORDON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH

Chico: Always good stuff... Should be especially good for the final season on Spike. PUSH.
Gordon: Should be a lot of fun. PUSH as well.
Chico: (FF victory cue)

SWEET GENIUS Food - 10p ET Thursdays
CHICO	GORDON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH

Chico: It's like Last Cake Standing... if it were hosted by Chairman Kaga.
Gordon: Push. The Food Network does pretty good in competition shows.
Chico: Very good. PUSH. (FF victory cue... *gong*) Next...

MAJORS & MINORS Hub - 8p ET Fridays
CHICO	GORDON	FLUSH
FLUSH	JIGGLE

Gordon: The last music kiddie show I saw was the Glee Project, and it left a sour note. Jiggle.
Chico: I really hate to do this, but ... it's a competition. There are winners and there are losers. We can't very well have a show where everyone's in it the whole way through. FLUSH.

THE AMAZING RACE CBS - 8p ET Sundays
CHICO	GORDON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH

Gordon: PUSH of course.
Chico: PUSH (FF victory cue) We'll have more about this next week. Next...

HALLOWEEN WARS Food - October 2
CHICO	GORDON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH

Chico: Again, Food Network competition. PUSH.
Gordon: Again, it should do well. I give it a pumpkin.
Chico: ("Zombie Jamboree" plays)
Gordon: yee haw!

SWEET HOME ALABAMA CMT - October 20
CHICO	GORDON	FLUSH
JIGGLE	FLUSH

Chico: Great... at least we know this dater has a viable connection with Alabama. Jiggle.
Gordon: I already saw one season of this. I do not need to see another. FLUSH
Chico: Two more shows...

WORK OF ART: THE NEXT GREAT ARTIST Bravo - October 12
CHICO	GORDON	FLUSH
FLUSH	FLUSH

Chico: .... sorry, still doesn't work for me. FLUSH.
Gordon: The first season didn't do it for me. Sorry. FLUSH
Chico: Clogged! Help me out, G. ONE...
Gordon: TWO!
Chico: THREE! PLUNGEITPLUNGEPLUNGEITPLUNGEITPLUNGEITTTTTTTT!
Gordon: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Chico: And finally...

THE NEXT IRON CHEF: SUPERCHEFS Food - October 30
CHICO	GORDON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH

Gordon: This is good eats. I give you a one up Mushroom Quiche.
Chico: I see your 1UP Mushroom Quiche... and raise you a super starfruit sorbet *hums Starman theme*
Gordon: ...we're geeks.
Chico: But bear in mind we're lovable geeks.
Gordon: We are. Loveable Speed Round after the Lovable Break.

(Brought to you by The Piers Morgan Amnesia Pills. Good for combatting horrible variety acts, jetlagged cross-country flights and scandalous events that you may have been involved with 10 years ago that you would conveniently like to forget the details about.)

Chico: Just don't take too many or else you may end up like Augustus. Lifeless with no memory of basic bodily function.
Gordon: I'm going to order a packet for Chico.
Chico: Thanks. I'm going to need it.
Gordon: I'm sure he'd like to forget 15 seasons worth of Bachelor.
Chico: I would.
Gordon: But I do remember to get a Speed Round running. Speed Round starts...now! Survivor. Is Cochran on notice?
Chico: YEP.
Gordon: I think he's in a world of trouble. I think Ozzy, who picked the wrong pony, needs to be careful as well.
Chico: They still need the strength, though. Strength is very important.
Gordon: It is. We'll see if the tribesmates realize this. Jeopardy starts this week: Any chance of a monster run?
Chico: I think we're going to see a fiver to start.
Gordon: Possibly, but I don't think that lasts the week.
Chico: Not the week, just five days. I believe he already has two. I could be wrong.
Gordon: You're right.
Chico: OK. X Factor. Will it hit?
Gordon: It will to start. We'll see what happens with the ratings. What show are you looking most forward to this week?
Chico: TPIR, duh. 40 Years. WINNING. Speaking of, ... it starts in 20 minutes. Let's check the mail!
Gordon: What do you got?
Chico: ... Nothing. But we can pose a new Facebook question. Finish this sentence...

BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION
"The show I'm looking forward to most this fall is..."

Chico: .... go to Facebook.com/wlti.gsnn to answer. Next week, you've heard about it... you've seen it... you're no doubt tired of it... We're going to finally review The X Factor.
Gordon: And get through a bunch of other shows and make fun of Dancing With the Stars contestants.
Chico: Should be great. Thanks to Jason for hanging out with us. Until next week, for everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander... still on the east coast.
Gordon: And I’m Gordon Pepper, feeling jetlagged, saying Game Over, and Spread the Love.