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Wipeout
Season 6
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Episode 6.1 - Welcome Back, Jill!
August 23

To those who said that Jill Wagner would NEVER return to the "Wipeout" course after leaving at the end of season 4, I say three words... "Never. Say. Never."

We've teased her a lot, 'cause we've got her on the spot. Welcome back, Jill. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

THE WIPEOUT QUALIFIER

Tonight, the first 24 of the season will take on four brand new challenges... and one old favorite.

- The Barsy Bot 3000: It's a big bar robot. WARNING! WARNING!
- Failboxes: Guarded by the Honey Badgers.
- The Big Balls... Ballsy's Bonus in play. Anyone who knocks Drill Sergeant Smallsy off his perch on the fourth ball will win $500.
- Drippity Skippity Flippity Doo: ... It's complicated.
- Wipeout Pizza Kitchen: rollers and a big pepperoni.

The 24 students will take on the course, and the 12 who pass with the fastest time will go to the head of stage 2.

(C-Note: I wouldn't be Tebowing over a time of 3:58)

Mark "Balloon Boy" Lytle didn't just knock out Smallsy, he picked him up and took him for a tour of the rest of the course for $500! Premyer also gets paid... and Dave Freitag as well. In fact, Smallsy can't even stay on his perch for long.

ADVANCING TO ROUND 2
- Timmy "The Substitute" Morgan
- Dale Rutledge
- Johnny "Kung Fu Hot Pants" Nguyen
- Sunny "Diaperless" Aceves
- Elyssia "Roadkill Investigator" Atkins
- Greg "Mr. Twister"Lozano
- Paddy "Unpopular" Manesh
- Nathan "Jolly Green Shredding Machine" Briles
- Adam Hove
- Jayne "Chicken Sitter" Strand
- Larry "Crazy Cat Man" Mura
- Branden "The Surftographer" Aroyan

OCTOPUSHY

Contestants have to ride a platform from one side to the other while dodging spinning arms. First six to make dry land move on.

ADVANCING TO ROUND 3
- Timmy "The Substitute" Morgan
- Johnny "Kung Fu Hot Pants" Nguyen
- Greg "Mr. Twister" Lozano
- Jayne "Chicken Sitter" Strand
- Larry "Crazy Cat Man" Mura
- Branden "The Surftographer" Aroyan

WIPEOUT'S GREATEST HITS

Crowdsurf into the Percussion Section, then ride the Drumsticks to the Keyboards, and through the Swinging Axe, all the while dodging props from our crazy metalhead roadies. The first three across get an encore performance in the Wipeout Zone.

ADVANCING TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE
- Timmy "The Substitute" Morgan
- Johnny "Kung Fu Hot Pants" Nguyen
- Branden "The Surftographer" Aroyan

THE WIPEOUT ZONE

Three men enter, one leaves with $50,000. Tonight in the new-for-2013 model of the Wipeout Zone.

- The Scare Chair. Launching 30 feet into the night sky.
- The Blockbuster. They twist and turn, but the objective is the same: go from one end to the other.
- The Space Pod of Doom. It spins outward AND inward. Land on a narrow finish platform and arrive at...
- The Bounder Pounders. A pair of rotating trampolines.

Fifty-thou will go to the player with the quickest time.

First up, Timmy Morgan, who took first in Octopushy and second in Wipeout's Greatest Hits. His first try on Blockbuster ends.... in a wipeout. The obstacle is SO TOUGH (How tough is it?) that contestants can elect to take a time penalty rather than finish it. Not a problem for Timmy, he finishes. Then he takes a hard hit in the Space Pod. Second time lucky there. Solid effort going into the Bounder Pounders. He finishes in 9:30.82

Branden Aroyan is next. He took first in the Qualifier AND Wipeout's Greatest Hits. He thinks he has the advantage being launched into the Zone. He too takes two times to beat Blockbuster. He finishes with a time of... 6:26.59!

Last run of the day is Johnny Nguyen, who ALMOST beats Blockbuster on the first time out. Second time is nicely done. Onto the Space Pod... and misses the platform. It's getting close... and he's DONE. BRANDEN AROYAN IS YOUR FIRST SEASON 6 WIPEOUT CHAMPION!

And Jill is back in the house. Go Heels. Tee hee... Because Jill went to State and... yeah, anyway, more new obstacles next week. Until then... Good night.... and Big Balls.

To view this episode in its entirety or to apply to be a contestant on "Wipeout", go to abc.com/wipeout