"Show 101" - July
29 We keep talking about game shows, and once in a while, something debuts or shows up that none of us catch until the night before. This is one of these shows. This is an improv show called Wild N' Out - and you know it's Wild
when we are greeted with Nick Cannon looking like a cross between RuPaul and
Jay Alexander doing a faux newscast and a heavyset Asian in Drag doing the
red carpet. We continue to get Jay-Z and Beyonce clones, and if this is a
sample of what we're going to be getting, then we are going to be getting
Wild.
Nick Cannon is the emcee on this show, which
features two teams of comedians duking it out in a series of Freestyle
Comedy, improv and insults. Team #1 (The Red Team) is Affion Crockett and
Rasika Mathur, Katt Williams and Mikey Day and Leonard Robinson. Team #2 is
Nyima Funk, Rob Hoffman, Joshua Funk, Darnel Heath and Spanky Hayes. Nick
Cannon is the captain of the Red Team, while the Captain of the Black Team
is Orlando Jones (It Factor, Drumline, 7-Up Commercials). Let's get it
on!
Round 1 is Questions - The teams can improv, but
they can only ask questions. A member of the red team and a member of the
black team will be joined and have to continue the sketch by asking
questions, The first person who can't continue the scene by asking a
question is buzzed and the other team gets the point.
Rasika (Red) and Spanky (Black) start it off as
Siamese Twins. Rasika - Why wouldn't you have sex with a girl? Spanky - 'Why
wouldn't you?' She bursts out laughing and Black gets the first
point.
Affion (Red) goes up against Joshua (Black) as
Racing Sperm. The very portly Joshua - Do you think I'm going to be able to
fit up here? Affion - Hell no. (Buzz). 2-0 Black
Team.
Rob (Black) is Ron Jeremy. Leonard (Red) is a
virgin. Oh no. Rob asks if he's ever seen Chlamydia while Joshua pokes his
fist between his legs, representing a...you know. Rob asks if Leonard wants
to make some cash and Leonard has no response. 3-0, Black
Team.
Orlando Jones is Yoda standing. Nick Cannon is
Darth Vader on his knees - and Orlando presses into him. Nick - 'Why are you
ready to get hit in the nuts?' Orlando can't answer and Red is on the board
(3-1, Black)
The 2 Stars of Drumline - Orlando starts
it up and Nick can't even bother to finish. Black wins the round 4-1 and
leads the match 1-0.
The second game is Tore Up from
the Floor Up. The comedians select contestants from the room and bring them
up to preen - while making fun of them. Whoever gets the most points wins.
The Red team starts with a plump white woman and
calling the fashion line Versausage (DING 1-0 Red). Next up - a long legged
white-short wearing woman who is called one of the most beautiful man in the
house (DING 1-1). We get a guy with a police cap and a blue and black
t-shirt described as a homosexual superhero (DING 2-1 Red), a woman with
pink shoulder pads and a flimsy black top looking to be auditioning as a new
Wild N'Out Girl (BUZZ). Nyima - 'No seriously, see Nick Cannon later, he
needs some more a$$'. Ouch!
Continuing the fashion
show, we have a woman all dressed in black called 'Celie from the Color
Purple Line (DING 3-1 Red), A woman with a blue bra and a white skirt who
does the splits. Wowzers. Orlando douses himself with water while Nick
sticks a dollar in her dress. The guys take off their clothes while Nick
calls her his future wife. Heh. (DING 4-1 Red). Red wins the event and ties the match at 1.
We get a parody from Nick Cannon
(Maurice Dollars) before we get to the next game - I'm on the List. One
player is the bouncer, who has to guess as many celebrities from the team in
90 seconds. We get Fred Durst from a sex video, Chingy from the dance moves,
Ashlee Simpson from lip synching, and they get Lil' Kim from a Queen Bee
reference as time runs out. The Black team gets DMX from woofing, Janet
Jackson from her choreography and grunts, Cuba Gooding from 'Show Me The
Money', but Orlando can't (or won't) let Martin Lawrence in the club and
they lose, 3-2. The Red team is up in the match,
2-1.
Finally, it's Wild Style Time. The teams rap
against each other, and whoever gets the better raps off gets 1 point. Doing
the beat boxing will be...Biz Markie! Affrion gets one off about having all
Russell but no muscle (DING, 3-1 Red) while Rob gets off a line about
looking like a scarecrow - 'How come you're Adam's Apple is further than
your nose?' (DING 3-2 Red).
Katt says that when
talking on the phone to his mom, he got an erection, but she was so nasty
that he got an ear infection (BUZZ) Rob says that the next time he rhymes,
to do it right - and sticks the mike next to his crotch (DING 3-3)
Orlando tells nick that he's too short and
wearing a perm (BUZZ), while Nick says that perms get the chicks (DING 4-3
Red). Orlando gets off a nice one about him going after Christina Milian and
being expelled like a fart (DING 4-4), but Mikey gets the best line off -
'You were 7-Up's Bitch, and that ain't right. No wonder they fired your
a$$ - we're all drinking Sprite!' and with that, the whole Red team pulls
out Sprite cans and explodes them on the stage and the crowd goes nuts (5-4,
Red). That's the match and the Red team wins. We get a performance from
Cassidy to close the show.
My take? This is hilarious.
It's too bad that this didn't get a lot of press, because this is
hysterical. Join us in 7 days to see if the second episode can match up with
the first. |