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GSNN
Primes |
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Previous Episodes |
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It's VAL's world... you're just playing in it, as nine contestants subject themselves to solitary confinement... and the tests of an all-knowing cyber-intelligence. Recaps by Chico Alexander, GSNN
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Unchained Malady "Solitary" is one of those shows that we at the 'net extol the virtues of, yet no one has been able to cover it for one reason or another. And seeing as this is more than likely the last season of the show, as Fox Reality is set to go dark in March, it is only fitting that we at GSNN give it a proper sendoff. So here now... the fourth season of Solitary 4.0. VAL is back online... and she's been dying to meet nine new strangers, who will spend an indeterminate amount of time in her clutches. These nine participants will only be referred to by the number of their pod. VAL has control over every aspect of their lives inside the pod, from lighting to temperature to sleep to meals... even communication, with VAL acting as a proxy between pods. VAL is equipped with a green button and a red button. The green is used to communicate with VAL. The red button will end the game for you. Over time, the participants will be subject to tests and treatments designed to test the physical and mental endurance of the participants. The winner of the Test will have an advantage in the Treatment portion of the round. Treatments are more physically and mentally demanding. Pushing the red button first during a treatment means expulsion from the game. The player that outlasts the others will win $50,000. Let's meet this season's nine participants...
Now that we know who's playing, let's get to the first Test... Each player is bound by a link of chains. For what, we won't say... We learn that #1 is a survivor of testicular cancer, that #9 died three times, and #5 has won $237,700 on game shows. Interesting. But irrelevant. Back to the chains. They're tethered by a lock with four numbers. You have to figure out the combination. Their locks are set to their birth year. Again, irrelevant, as in Solitary, their combinations are staring them right in the face. Move quickly, because the order you set yourself free will determine the chain of command in a future challenge. The players... have no idea about the combination. In fact, #9 had the right one, but she forgot to pull open the lock. #4 has the right idea, as she locks in the green button. The results... #4 at a time 4:38 is the winner. What will that mean? What makes these players strong? Courtney has a fake tooth. Rhonda has her children. Rommel, a.k.a. the Orange Ranger, says that he is competitive. Liberty died three times, once in birth, once in a fire, and once in a mud bog after getting hit by a truck. TREATMENT: Ready, Set, Sweat! The participants will have to work up a sweat using one of VAL's nine workout aids. The goal is to collect as much of your own sweat as humanly possible. You must fill and refill 10 ml graduated cylinders using one of three tools (squeegee, shammy, spoon). Use a different tool every round. Every drop matters, because the player who collects the least amount of sweat will be leaving Solitary... forever. #8 himself is a little bit of a sweat collecting tool. He has found the secretion to success, but the other guests are having a little bit of difficulty. #8 has two vials, while everyone else has... zero. Round one ends. Round 2. Begin. While #8 continues to be a human sprinkler, #6 has yet to collect a single vial... until now. Round 2 ends. #8 leads with six, while #4, #5, and #6 have one. Round 3. Begin. Not only are the Solitarians shedding sweat, they're shedding their inhibitions. Round 3 ends. Round 4. Begin. Use the tool that you have found most effective. While it's clear who'll win this challenge, #3, #4, and #6 have two vials a piece and are on the bubble. And... TREATMENT ENDS. In total, 74 vials have been filled... 25 of them belong to #8. The two that sweat the least... #4 and #6. The first Solitarian to say goodbye is... #6. Rhonda, please push the red button and exit your pod. For the other eight, the victory is short lived, because another #6 is moving in... And it's not just another human, it's a Solitary veteran. The new #6 is... Tyler Tongate (29; environmentalist/US Navy vet; Solitary 2.0 runnerup.... he was #7). Next, VAL forces the players to repeat the Pledge of VAL-legiance. "I pledge VAL-legiance to the octagon that observes my every move, and I vow to be strong and smart and fast, and push myself to my limit and beyond. I will prove to myself and to the world that I am tougher than everyone else, except of of course for VAL. And in the end, it will just be ME... in a pond, all alone, in Solitary, forever. So help me VAL." So how closely have our players been paying attention? Let's find out as our players, blinded and dizzy, will have to find their mail slot from which they got the blinders. Once they find their mail slots, they'll find their breakfast, lunch, and dinner... a meal bar that's long on nutrition and short on taste. You'll rather eat Oprah Winfrey's ass. And #1 has a migraine. He presses on thinking about his mother. "You never truly know yourself until you're utterly alone." It's been 24 hours since the participants entered Solitary. VAL gives them one final phone call before they are sealed away from the outside world. The only way you'll see it again is if you either press the red button or win the game. TREATMENT: Last Call Each pod is equipped with an open bar... mixing drinks with two ingredients for your fellow Solitarians. Whatever you mix, you'll have to drink yourself before VAL serves it up to the others. If you do not want to drink, then hit the red button and quit. Of course, you will be forced to hit the button and bow out for "reversal of fortune". If you are the first to quit, your stay in Solitary will be over. - #7 orders up coffee and chocolate
syrup. It goes over well. But who? How about... #1? RED BUTTON! That doesn't necessarily mean that he's out just yet. If he is the first to quit, he's outta here. The first guest to quit the treatment is.... #1. Nic, please exit your pod. But we're not done yet... TRANSMISSION ENDS. To view this uplink of "Solitary 4.0", visit the official website at www.foxreality.com/solitary4 or search for "Solitary 4.0" at Amazon.com Video on Demand. |
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