"Solitary" is one of
those shows that we at the 'net extol the virtues of, yet no one
has been able to cover it for one reason or another. And seeing
as this is more than likely the last season of the show, as Fox
Reality is set to go dark in March, it is only fitting that we
at GSNN give it a proper sendoff. So here now... the fourth
season of Solitary 4.0.
VAL is back
online... and she's been dying to meet nine new strangers, who
will spend an indeterminate amount of time in her clutches.
These nine participants will only be referred to by the number
of their pod. VAL has control over every aspect of their lives
inside the pod, from lighting to temperature to sleep to
meals... even communication, with VAL acting as a proxy between
pods. VAL is equipped with a green button and a red button. The
green is used to communicate with VAL. The red button will end
the game for you.
Over time, the
participants will be subject to tests and treatments designed to
test the physical and mental endurance of the participants. The
winner of the Test will have an advantage in the Treatment
portion of the round. Treatments are more physically and
mentally demanding. Pushing the red button first during a
treatment means expulsion from the game.
The player that
outlasts the others will win $50,000.
Let's meet this
season's nine participants...
1) Nic Leland
Camp counselor & testicular cancer survivor
2) Rommel Gargoles
Martial arts instructor
3) Kelsey Thorn
4) Courtney Hill
5) Todd Ranck
6) Rhonda Lucero
entrepreneur & mother of 3
7) Bea Henington
high school teacher & missionary
8) Eriq Shaw
9) Liberty Freeman
Children's party entertainer who died three times
Now that we know
who's playing, let's get to the first Test... Each player is
bound by a link of chains. For what, we won't say...
We learn that #1 is
a survivor of testicular cancer, that #9 died three times, and
#5 has won $237,700 on game shows. Interesting. But irrelevant.
Back to the chains.
They're tethered by a lock with four numbers. You have to figure
out the combination. Their locks are set to their birth year.
Again, irrelevant, as in Solitary, their combinations are
staring them right in the face.
because the order you set yourself free will determine the chain
of command in a future challenge.
The players... have
no idea about the combination. In fact, #9 had the right one,
but she forgot to pull open the lock. #4 has the right idea, as
she locks in the green button.
The results... #4 at
a time 4:38 is the winner. What will that mean?
What makes these
players strong? Courtney has a fake tooth. Rhonda has her
children. Rommel, a.k.a. the Orange Ranger, says that he is
competitive. Liberty died three times, once in birth, once in a
fire, and once in a mud bog after getting hit by a truck.
TREATMENT: Ready, Set,
will have to work up a sweat using one of VAL's nine workout
aids. The goal is to collect as much of your own sweat as
humanly possible. You must fill and refill 10 ml graduated
cylinders using one of three tools (squeegee, shammy, spoon).
Use a different tool every round. Every drop matters, because
the player who collects the least amount of sweat will be
leaving Solitary... forever.
#8 himself is a
little bit of a sweat collecting tool. He has found the
secretion to success, but the other guests are having a little
bit of difficulty. #8 has two vials, while everyone else has...
zero. Round one ends.
Round 2. Begin.
While #8 continues to be a human sprinkler, #6 has yet to
collect a single vial... until now. Round 2 ends. #8 leads with
six, while #4, #5, and #6 have one.
Round 3. Begin. Not
only are the Solitarians shedding sweat, they're shedding their
inhibitions. Round 3 ends.
Round 4. Begin. Use
the tool that you have found most effective. While it's clear
who'll win this challenge, #3, #4, and #6 have two vials a piece
and are on the bubble. And... TREATMENT ENDS.
In total, 74 vials
have been filled... 25 of them belong to #8. The two that sweat
the least... #4 and #6.
The first Solitarian
to say goodbye is... #6. Rhonda, please push the red button and
exit your pod.
For the other eight,
the victory is short lived, because another #6 is moving in...
And it's not just another human, it's a Solitary veteran.
The new #6 is...
Tyler Tongate (29; environmentalist/US Navy vet; Solitary 2.0
runnerup.... he was #7).
Next, VAL forces the players to repeat
the Pledge of VAL-legiance. "I pledge VAL-legiance to the octagon that
observes my every move, and I vow to be strong and smart and fast, and
push myself to my limit and beyond. I will prove to myself and to the
world that I am tougher than everyone else, except of of course for VAL.
And in the end, it will just be ME... in a pond, all alone, in Solitary,
forever. So help me VAL."
So how closely have our players been
paying attention? Let's find out as our players, blinded and dizzy, will
have to find their mail slot from which they got the blinders. Once they
find their mail slots, they'll find their breakfast, lunch, and
dinner... a meal bar that's long on nutrition and short on taste. You'll
rather eat Oprah Winfrey's ass.
And #1 has a migraine. He presses on
thinking about his mother. "You never truly know yourself until you're
It's been 24 hours since the participants
entered Solitary. VAL gives them one final phone call before they are
sealed away from the outside world. The only way you'll see it again is
if you either press the red button or win the game.
TREATMENT: Last Call
Each pod is equipped with an open bar...
mixing drinks with two ingredients for your fellow Solitarians. Whatever
you mix, you'll have to drink yourself before VAL serves it up to the
others. If you do not want to drink, then hit the red button and quit.
Of course, you will be forced to hit the button and bow out for
"reversal of fortune". If you are the first to quit, your stay in
Solitary will be over.
- #7 orders up coffee and chocolate
syrup. It goes over well.
- #9 orders up ketchup and mustard. "May you puke in hell."
- #5 orders up refried beans and pickle relish... Can even #5 put this
down? "That... is TAKING SOMEBODY OUT."
But who? How about... #1? RED BUTTON!
That doesn't necessarily mean that he's out just yet. If he is the first
to quit, he's outta here.
The first guest to quit the treatment
is.... #1. Nic, please exit your pod.
But we're not done yet...
To view this uplink of "Solitary 4.0",
visit the official website at
www.foxreality.com/solitary4 or search for "Solitary 4.0" at
Amazon.com Video on Demand.