Match 1: Williams/Laak/Kolberg/Wuhl/Rodriguez/Murphy
- July 8
Obviously, I am not Chris Wolvie. Unfortunately, Chris has
his Poker Royale edition called Writers Vs. Hurricanes.
SInce the hurricanes seem to be winning, and since this is
hurricane season, I will be covering this series that
features 6 professional poker players and 6 comedians.
Here's how the series works. There will be 10 preliminary
matches, which gives everyone 5 chances to collect points.
The 2 highest scoring poker players and celebrities
automatically advance to the championship match. The next
6 highest will go to a Wild Card Playoff game to get to
the finals. the low 2 people will get to watch everyone,
but not participate themselves.
We start off Match 1 with these 6 people -
David Williams - Came in second in the 2004 World Series
of Poker to Greg 'Fossilman' Raymer. More money would be
Phil Laak - Nicknamed the 'Unabomber', this Irish poker
player has won a World Poker Tour championship. He is also
currently dating to 2005 WSOP Bracelet winner Jennifer
Tilly, who was on the last Poker Royale series.
Kelly Kolberg - She has won the Aussie Poker Open. She's a
tall, leggy beauty who could mesmerize you with her eyes.
You mesmerized yet?
Robert Wuhl - He has been the main player in Arli$$ and
Kim Basinger's sidekick in the Michael Keaton version of
'Batman'. Time has not been very good to him.
Paul Rodriguez - The Latin King of Comedy
Sue Murphy - comedian on the Ellen DeGeneres show.
Hand #1 - We start with Williams, who raises off a... 6 ?
2 ?? Well, that's comedy. Wuhl
calls with a Q ? 4 ?, and Rodriguez has...uh oh...he's got
cowboys (K ? K ?). The flop is 2
? 6 ? A
?. This spells disaster for Rodriguez, because Williams,
who raises to $20,000, has 2 pair (6's and 2's). Wuhl bows
out and with Rodriguez and the African-American Williams
left, Rodriguez calls it a 'minority game' - 'All of the
caucasians have been eliminated'. Rodriguez may be
eliminated as the Turn is a J ?
and Rodriguez is betting on it. The river - a 5
? and they both check. Williams
takes a big pot on 2 little cards.
Hand #2 - As all of the pros (and some of the celebrities)
are making fun of Williams for hanging in there with a 6/2
off-suit, Rodriguez, with an A ?
10 ? makes a raise. Now it's Williams with a huge starting
hand (J ? J ?
) and re-raises. Rodriguez calls, and is clearly behind in
the hand when a 3 c' 5 c' 5 ? show up on the Flop.
Williams goes all-in. Rodriguez calls and he have our
first show-down. Do we have our first eliminated
contestant? No, because we see an A ? on the Turn! The
River is a 6 ? and Williams
counts his chips to send over to Rodriguez. Rodriguez
warns Williams that all of the chips he's going to get.
Fun Fact - Paul Rodriguez has traveled in 33 countries.
Fun Fats about David Williams - He won the Poker Royale
Young Bloods of Poker Championship. He's also a former 4.0
student at Southern Methodist University. David says that
he is single because he needs a woman that will let him
mope if he loses. 'Usually most successful poker player's
girlfriends are either very understanding or they are also
poker players. I don't really want to date another poker
player because I don't want to date myself because I know
how poker players are.'
Hand #3 - Rodriguez plays again with a Q ? 10
? , but this time he has
problems. Problem #1 is Kolberg with a 5
? 5 ?. Problem #2 is Wuhl with a K ? K
? . Williams decides to see a
flop with a 5 ? 3 ?. It's a good thing that he has,
because the Flop, with a 2 ? 8 ? K ?, now has a flush.
That also gives Wuhl Trip Kings and he calls Williams bet
on a flush. The turn is a J ? ,
which sends Wuhl all-in. Unfortunately, without a pair on
the River to make a boat (the River is a 7 ?), Wuhl is
also all-out in 6th place. 'I can't do a while lot worse.
Excuse me, I have to go, the caterer wants to play me.'
Fact - Robert Wuhl was on the Dating Game in 1985.
Hopefully he had better luck there than what he is having
We get a quick chat with Kenna James, who says that the
comedians could use their comedy to distract the players.
We'll see if they are successful in doing so...
Hand #4 - Leading the pack is...Sue Murphy? Huh? She
hasn't even played a hand yet on the show? Well,
obviously, this is edited as we see...well, not Sue yet.
Williams is back and calls an 8 ? 3 ?. We see Murphy now
with a monster pair of Jacks (? ?
) and raises. The flop is 2 ? 7
?, 5 ?. That's no help to anyone, and while Williams is
trying to buy his way the pot, Murphy isn't having any of
it and calls. The turn is a K ?
and Williams is drawing dead. He can only bluff out
Murphy, and with a check, it looks like he is going to
give it up. Murphy bets, but Williams re-raises in another
move to take the pot. It's not going to work, because
Murphy calls it. The river is a 9 ?
and Murphy checks again. They both check and Murphy takes
a nice $162,000 pot. Phil Laak gives Murphy a
congratulations hug, because a weakened Williams would be
easier for him to wipe out later.
Fact - Sue Murphy has been to 30 different ballparks. She
was also on the Jeff Foxworthy show and has been on Jay
Leno. She has a daily comedy radio show and is looking for
a lucky charm. She wants to use a huge garden gnome. Uhhh...ok.
Another fact - the winner of this match gets $5,000.
Hand #5 - Murphy once again has a good hand (K ? Q ?) and
raises. Rodriguez re-raises with a K ?
2 ? and is a clear underdog here. WIlliams goes over the
top with a A ? 9
? and Murphy folds. Rodriguez
calls and we see a showdown. The Flop is...2
? Q ? 8
?. Kolberg wants a deuce, and
gets it, as Rodriguez takes the lead temporarily, because
the Turn is an A ?. Williams takes the lead back and with
the river being a J ?, Williams doubles up and Rodriguez
is the new short stack.
Fact - Rodriguez learned poker 32 years ago while in the
Air Force. Hopefully, he won't crash and burn here.
Fact - Kolberg once played in a game for 3 straight days
with no sleep. She hopes to catch people napping on Hand
#6 and raises with a J d' 2 ?. Rodriguez goes all-in with
K ? J ? and it looks great for
him - especially with a Q ? 7 ?
10 ? . The turn is ...a 2
? and Kolberg takes the lead. We
have another deuce on the river, and Rodriguez is out in
5th. Paul Rodriguez says that in order to immigrate from
Mexico to America, you have to be aggressive. Uhhh...ok.
Murphy is the only comedian left, but she is the chip
leader, thanks to her win over Williams earlier.
Hand #7 - The blinds are going up. Murphy plays a K ? Q
?. Williams checks in with a 10 ?
0 ?. The Flop is K ? 2 ? 10?,
which is nice for Williams, because he paired his 10's,
but Murphy paired her Kings. Williams goes all-in and
needs some help. The turn is not help with a * ? The
rives, with a 5 ? , is no help
either. Williams is the first pro player gone as he cones
in 4th. The minorities have all left the table and only
the Caucasians are left.
Fact - David Williams gave an interview with Playboy
Magazine. Williams admits that the comedians weren't as
easy targets as he thought, and he has to rethink his
strategy for the next match that he plays.
Facts on Phil Laak - He talks about his relationship with
Jennifer Tilly, and how he has been helping her play.
Apparently so, as she won the Ladies Only event at the
Hand #8 - Murphy has red 4's and is making quacking
noises. You're not X-22, Sue. After hearing a conversation
about Muppets noises, Laak, with a A ? 7 ? suited, raises
to $25,000. With Kolberg watching, Murphy calls and we see
a flop. A flop of a 2 ? K ? 8 ?
has Laak go all-in. Murphy is in the lead in the hand, and
saying that this is how you lose a big lead, she folds.
Well no, Sue - you lose a big lead by making dumb
decisions like the one you just did.
Facts - A hand of 4's is called a 'Dirty Harry', because
of the .44 magnum that he carries. Another fact - the
Sandwich was created because the Earl of Sandwich wouldn't
leave the card table to eat - so he made himself food
stuck between 2 pieces of bread and voila!
Hand #9 - Murphy has an A ? 3 ? and calls. Kolberg raises
with a A ? J ?. Murphy says that
she wants to play with Kolberg. Oooh baby. Laak and myself
are both getting excited. The Flop is (9 ? 10 ? A
? , which is not good for Murphy
- they both pair Aces and Kolberg has the better kicker.
They both raise big and Kolberg goes all-in. Murphy calls
and sees that she's in a big hole. The turn is a 2
? and that doesn't help Murphy,
neither does the 9 ? on the river
and Kolberg wins a huge $397,000 pot, while Murphy is a
very short $36,000 stack.
Fact - Kathy Kolberg is the daughter of WSOP champion Jack
Koller. She could be the champion of Poker Royale if she
keeps this up.
Remember when Murphy says that she would give her chips
away? Well, she has done so, and in Hand #10, Laak (K ? 9
?) is looking to take the rest of them. Murphy calls with
a 7 ? 7 ? and need some help. A J
? 8 ? 6 ? isn't enough help, but a K ? on the Turn is and
laak pairs Aces. Murphy needs a 7, and the River is...4
?. Murphy is gone in 3rd and the
last of the comedians is gone. When asks if she is going
to change strategy, Kolberg says that she is going to hire
someone to play for her. Heh.
Fact - Laak says that if he wasn't a poker player, he'd be
a broker on Wall Street. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Hand #11 - Kolberg should be afraid, because when we get
back to action, it's Laak with a 334,000 Vs. 266,000 lead
on her. Kolberg raises with A ? 7 ?. Laak goes all-in with
a 3 ? 3 ?. It's a classic race
situation and Kolberg calls. The Flop is J ? Q ? 4
? and Laak has the lead. the Turn
is a 9 ?, and Kolberg has some outs with a 7, 10 or Ace. A
J ? is not one of them, and Laak wins the match and
$5,000. Kolberg enjoyed how fun the match was, while Laak
is thrilled with the cash.
Fact - Phil Laak once tried to be a comedian in Vegas.
Obviously, he's a better poker player.
*Sue Murphy - 6
*Paul Rodriguez - 2
*Robert Wuhl - 0
*Phil Laak - 10
*Kathy Kolberg - 8
*David Williams - 4
* = The Number of matches played
And here's what we are playing for -
Match winner - $5,000
Bonus for making the final Match - $5,000
Runner up in the Championship Match - $10,000
Champion - $50,000
Next week, we see some people we saw last week (Rodriguez,
Wuhl, Laak) and some new people (Connie Kim, Carol Leifer,
Robert Williamson III). That's Williamson III, as in one
of the announcers of the series. Wha? Lucy, you've got
some explaining to do. Join us in 7 days to see Match #2
and to figure out what Williamson III is doing in the