Omigod, She Threw Us Under a Bus!
Last time, the Blondes moved
in, acted out, and one of them, Cassie O was sent home. Now nine remain
in the hunt for one of the most elusive gigs in all the world...
We pick up with Cassie S... err, Cassie... and Lindsey returning from
the casting office to the usual squeals of joy. But underneath the
squeals, a darker side. Bailey doesn't believe she possesses any of the
qualities of Elle Woods. Cassie notes that Lindsey was getting more love
than she was. "Oh, it's on."
New day... Empty bed... New call sheet. 11a. Club H. Be there. "Dress
casually and comfortably." That means be ready to work.
Club H is a fitness studio with a spinning room. In the spinning room,
nine bikes. Looks like we're singing while spinning. Helping out, Seth
Rudetsky. We met him in episode 1. The workshop today: stamina. Today's
top performer will receive an edge to help in the next elimination
Ah, the stamina!
So we start out with a little warmup, and then, singing a storm while
spinning... to various degrees of success. Emma hasn't smoked in two
weeks, and two of the hardest things to do while going cold turkey...
singing and exercising. But if you can relearn to do those without
cigarettes... you can do anything. This message brought to you by
Paraplegic Hamsters United for a Greater Tomorrow.
Haylie returns with the folders, but first, the top performer... They're
going to get manis and pedis at Dashing Diva's with Orfeh ("Paulette" in
the musical). Seth chooses... Lauren. "I'm a sucker for fierce belting."
Emma thought she rocked the best.
Lauren gets to choose one girl to go with her... Cassie.
Now for the info on the audition challenge. They'll be acting and
singing "Omigod You Guys" in front of the judges.
But before that, let's get our nails done, ladies. Orfeh asks if
everyone gets along. They answer that yes, everyone gets along. WRONG.
Her words of wisdom: "The stronger you become physically, the easier
Broadway is to do."
Cassie & Lauren return and receive... an awkward silence. Bailey still
believes Emma deserved it more. "It doesn't matter. I'm not the judge of
Next day, call sheet. Bernie's at 9a. It's 8a NOW. That leaves 30
minutes to get ready. No one has any time to shower so today's rehearsal
is going to stink.
They make it with five minutes to spare. Seth throws a curveball in the
rehearsal. When you're not playing Elle, you're playing a Delta Nu
(chorus girl). The laides find it difficult to learn BOTH the main part
and the chorus part at the same time. Some of the girls learn the Elle
part very quickly, but they don't find the same concentration with
learning the chorus parts. Because they want to be Elle. A man much
wiser than I once said, "There are no small parts, only small actors."
Meanwhile, Bailey, who's from South Kackalacky, needs to relearn how to
say "price" without the Southern drawl.
That night, they do some more rehearsing at home. Except for Bailey,
who's lost her voice. Cassie notices that she was "marking" through
everyone else's turn as Elle and when she played it, Cassie went all
out. "She's a bitch to me."
It's audition day, and naturally, everyone's not about to "buy last
year's dress at this year's price," meaning, they're all going to give
it everything they've got. And then some. Meanwhile, Cassie is said to
have a lot of growing up to do, though she says herself that her talent
is underestimated. We'll see.
Here with us is a local actress named Nicole. She'll play "salesgirl".
Note Haylie's words: "At least one of you will be cut from the
competition." I like to pick up on these things.
It seems like through the number, the standout performer was Natalie.
Autumn is also given props. Emma was "harsh" in the dialogue. Bailey
also gets her propers on the numbers. Cassie was "less shrill". She says
that she wouldn't send herself home... but she'd rather not say who
she'd send home. Even though we all know her name begins with BAILEY.
"She threw us all under a bus. Not cool." Thanks, Emma.
Lindsey next... Then Lauren... breathiing. Celina is next... dirty
flirty. Lindsey looks perfect, but can't hit it out of the park. Lauren
isn't coming through as girly. Celina wasn't "sincere", but rather...
harsh, almost "I don't want to be here." Celina disputes.
Time to deliberate. Emma... Harsh gestures. Bailey... in the game, but
"Disney paint-by-numbers." Cassie took notes. Lindsey... amateurish.
Celina... professional. Lauren... Doesn't know if there's a voice.
On the list tonight... five girls. Four, instead of three, are going to
the casting office.
Everyone was shocked at the last entry. But nevertheless, Celina, Emma,
Lauren, and Lindsey are heading to...
The Casting Office
Dreams are in jeopardy. Emma looks the part, but there's that attitude
that's the driving force. Elle needs to be less NY and more LA. Lauren
is less squeaky with a sense of "I don't want to be here." Lindsey is
not giving them what they want to see... and this is the second time
she's been up there. Celina has presence, but it may not be the presence
they're looking for with the boob-grabbing and such. "We are not looking
for the next Pussycat Doll." That's... another show, Paul.
Emma... needs to show more colors. She gets another chance. Celina has
potential. She gets another chance. That leaves Lauren & Lindsey.
Lindsey's been here before. Lauren didn't bring her A game.
Leaving tonight... is Lindsey. Leaving eight to fight it out to bring
out their inner... blond.
(End of Act III)