Game Show NewsNet

The Final Six - August 3

So after a week of seeing 4 comedians get knocked out for a second time, we are FINALLY down to the top 6 comics. Six of them get to perform. Three of them get to the finals, which will be next week. You all know how to vote, so I won't get into that. I will get into the comics, who Jay reintroduces - Jay London, Alonzo Boden, Gary Gulman, John Heffron, Tammy Pescatelli, and Kathleen Madigan. Three of these 6 will be in the finals - and we see those results on Thursday.

First up - Jay London. He said that winning the Wild Card was getting love that he didn't think that he was able to obtain. He says that it's a pleasure to be let into our home - without the home alarms being on. Heh. He gets more love from the audience as he starts his set. he mixes some old stuff with some new stuff. "I bought a book on hair loss and the pages kept falling out... May is mental health month, but I got an extension... I just came back from a freak of nature walk... I had a very lonely New years. I had my own balls drop." It's typical Jay London, and I love his style. He had no problem last week, but can he hold his own against the Top Guns?

Next up - it's Gary Gulman. He wants to make the audience laugh - and then try to make the viewers laugh. He thinks that it would be the coolest thing to win it. He talks about struggling to get up at 9am for his 9-5 job. He also can't stand the snooze button. He talks about milk and wondering what the campaign is targeted at, adding sugar cookies to the hate list and laughing at his joke. I'm glad someone is laughing at him - I still am not a fan and I wonder what would have happened if it was Gary and Jay head to head.

Comic #3 - John Heffron. He thinks that it would be cool to have the title and to have bragging rights. He talks about being at a bar and wonders if he's too old to be there - maybe a roller rink would be better. "Cheating on your mate? Shoot the duck!" He talks about advice for the younger set - mainly to 'whip it out and mark your territory.' He also talks about the 'We gotta go girl' - and that's the person who you have to booze up in order to get the girl that you want. That part was very funny. The rest of it wasn't bad either and he put on a really good set.

Comic #4 - Kathleen Madigan. She never went to the head-to-head challenge, and she is wondering if maybe the audience just thinks that she is a crazy lady who lives in the house. She wants to meet Willard Scott. She goes up to Canada - which she compares to her attic as she finds neat new stuff. She talks about her neurotic family, and about taking the SAT Tests. "If I have to paid $68 to show that I was an idiot, then so does everyone else... you have to wait table and join Kathleen telling jokes in group B". She talks about her experiences in waitressing and compares alien abductions to us snagging fish. "I bet if you drain the ocean, there will be 20 million posters of 'Missing' - and if you throw Phil back in, the other fish won't believe where Phil was." She finishes by hoping that Kerry would blackmail the public by threatening to pull the ketchup. After a slow start, she is grooving, and she makes herself look very good here.

Comic #5 - Tammy Pescatelli. Her whole goal was to get to the finals to help her family - and winning or losing, she'll get a hug from her mom. She immediately goes for the Sicilian angle. "Maybe that's why they don't let Sicilian people on Survivor - because there are no cops." Well, I have two words in rebuttal - Boston Rob. She also talks about Janet's cleavage at the Super Bowl and her wardrobe malfunctions, not to mention Paris Hilton, "You don't have to be poor to be white trash." She was funny, but Kathleen blew her out of the water, and I don't think there will be 3 female comedians in the finals.

Finally, we get Alonzo Boden. He wants to own and destroy the room. It would be a huge validation for him to win the whole thing, and for him, the validation starts now. He talks about how scary South Alabama is, and his questions on the war. "We took over an oil producing country. Why is the price of gas going up?" And illegal aliens, "Illegal aliens sneak into this country to do crappy jobs that no one wants to do for little and no money and you want to get rid of them?" And... other things... "If your crazy enough to marry your dog, just keep them off my lawn." He also does a hysterical sketch on white athletes vs. black athletes - the white guys are surprised the black guys can talk, the black guys are surprised that the white guy is on the team. His delivery is great and I think he is a lock for the top three.

We get a montage of tonight's performances and a reminder to vote NOW. Here is my list of who I liked -

1. Alonzo
2. Jay
3. Kathleen
4. John
5. Tammy
6. Gary

I think Alonzo and Kathleen are locks - and I think it's a toss-up between John and Jay for the last spot. We'll see who gets tossed out - and who flips out when they are in the finals - on Thursday.