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The Roast Challenge - July 6

Bonnie McFarland and Todd Glass have mercifully been sent packing from the Comedy Castle. In the next 60 minutes, we will see someone else being tossed into the moat to be dragon food.

Returning to the castle not via moat is Tammy, who is thrilled that she beat someone is good (?) as Todd. She also thinks that her alliance of herself, ANT, Jay and Alonzo will be thrilled, while wondering how Gary (who voted for her) would react. Sure enough, ANT is there waiting to hug her, and even Kathleen is taking a picture, while Gary doesn't clap and is looking like someone nailed him with the tour bus from the last episode. 'It's like losing your best friend in a time when you really need a best friend. I was involved in an alliance and it may come back to hurt me.' The only drama in this episode may be who Gary decides to go up against in the head-to-head round. ANT - 'It's been, Bonnie, Todd, Gary on the chopping block. Bye, Gary.'

ANT takes Jay London outside and tells him that he will be giving Jay the photo shoot that he won on the last show. Jay London is blown away by this, but ANT says that he just got a photo shoot, so he doesn't need this one. Well, that may be true, but it's not the only reason...'Jay is a person that needs to be loved' says ANT, as his plan to solidify alliance members who will vote the way that he wants them to vote is coming into fruition.

Jay goes to visit Will Blockinger, who has to teach Jay how to smile. Jay, who looks like a neanderthal already, has never been to a real photo shoot and it turns into the scene where Tarzan is first introduced into civilization. Meanwhile, John Heffron is reintroducing himself to the gypsy, who tells John that the challenge tomorrow is to show a comic how much you love them

Love is expressed in so many different ways, as Jay Mohr tells them that they have to roast one of their own at the Friars in Beverly Hill. He tells them that is a great tradition in comedy to do this - and then almost strangles Corey, who asks him to explain what exactly that tradition is. Three legendary friars will figure out who has the best roasted - or roastee - skills. The reward? A free years membership into the Friar's guild. In addition. someone will win immunity, but he didn't say that it would be the same person who was selected by the Friars. Hmmmmm. There will also be a message in an envelope which will not be revealed until the roast is over. Hmmmmmmmmm....

'They say you only roast the ones you love.' says Jay, as the comedians have to stick a cigar in the box of the person who they want to see roasted. After the voting, we see that Alonzo has one cigar, while Jay has...6 of the remaining 7. Well, he 'wins' in a rout, but ANT says that it's not all about him. The alliance figures that they will have the easiest time to make fun of their own, and when one of them wins immunity, then Gary will be toast. I have to admire ANT for his strategy, as he has clearly the best strategic prowess. Too bad he has to repeat material from his repertoire consistently and have the laughability of your standard pineapple.

The comics have to be original because, according to John, 'I didn't come her with any Jay London material.' Gary and Jay talk about how Gary is being gunned for, and both of them are doing Dat-Phan-like joke writing sessions to try to get the best script. John uses his own strategy too, by telling ANT that his set is funny - when no one is laughing. Well, what's the difference between now and when he has done his other sets?

We're here for the roast, and the roast master is Jay Mohr. The Friar judges are Norm Crosby, Phyllis Diller and Rich Little. 'Stick around after the shot, because the judges are going to switch wigs.' Ouch.

And speaking of Jay London, we get a comedy spotlight. 'So I called up the injury hotline and I told them I was hurting for cash.' He's esoterically funny,

Gary goes first - and he sort of misunderstood the idea. He decided to roast everybody, which gets no points from the cast - but points from the judges. 'I'm glad that he was able to take the bone out of his head.' He went after Tammy, ANT, Alonzo and Corey (who actually laughed). If Gary wasn't a target before, he is now. John is also cute, but he references Neil Young, which doesn't get much from the audience.

'He says thank you more than a Chinese waiter.' says Kathleen, who prefers to be in the laundromat. Corey - 'The back of your head smells like pit bull afterbirth.' Eh. ANT doesn't do better, as he says that Jay was rejected by the folks at Queer Eye.

Alonzo - ''Wise man, peaceful man, possibly a cro-magnon man....put a personal advertisement in National Geographic.' That gets the crowd going. Jay does a bit for himself, but it goes as well as Kathleen's does. Tammy's comedy spotlight does better than Jay's bit - but it's a repeat of the cheating sketch.

The judges get to talk to the comedians. Norm says that Kathleen and Corey had weak material and Gary was too crude, while Alonzo and John were strong. Phyllis likes John and Alonzo, but says that Kathleen isn't for roasts. Rich curses the comedians out for having crude material (as he goes after Gary). He says Alonzo blew him away, as he was funny and clean, while ANT, 'you should be in a home...not mine, we have a dog.' OUCH. The judges have decided that the person who gets the year's membership into the group is...Alonzo! Alonzo tells the judges that it was a high honor for him and he is thankful.

What's in the envelope? Jay M. opens up the envelope...and says that the roastee, for being roasted, gets immunity. Jay L. thinks it's a stay of execution, while Alonzo finds it disappointing.

Gary, who knows that he will be voted, knows that he wants ANT, because he doesn't like the way he manipulates the vote. He may not get him though, as he tries to trash-talk him into voting for him. ANT, who knows this, tells Gary that he can go up against Kathleen, because he won't vote for him. Gary - 'This is beneath me'. ANT - 'At 6'6", everything is beneath you.' Tammy and ANT talk strategy, and ANT tells Tammy his plans, whereas Tammy convinces him that he has to stand up for himself. ANT doesn't think that this is his week, and he thinks that he would be able to do it next week, but Tammy seems pretty firm on this. Will Tammy be able to convince ANT to vote for Gary? We'll see...

...after we see Kathleen Madigan in a comedy spotlight. She likes to see John Madden because she likes to see how healthy she is. Heh. One of the comedian's stays in the house isn't going to be that healthy.

Jay Votes for Gary
Corey votes for ANT
Gary votes for ANT
John votes for ANT
Kathleen votes for Gary
Alonzo votes for Gary
Tammy votes for Alonzo (Jay - 'She is Sicillian with that strategy')
ANT votes for....Gary

Gary congratulates ANT for coming through, but it really wouldn't have mattered. Because of the way that Tammy voted, should ANT have voted for anyone else, it would have been a 3-3 tie, and ANT and Gary would have had to compete against each other anyway. Needless to say, we know who Gary will pick, and the challenge is on.

ANT says he is up for the challenge, while Tammy and Alonzo stare at each other. I wonder if ANT is up for this - and I wonder if Tammy knew that ANT was going thanks to her voting strategy. I wonder if Tammy and Alonzo may be a little bit more in power than we are being led to believe...

Anyway, the conspirators can be out for a few minutes, as we hear Jay Mohr compare women to the pit crew of the Indy 500 and how men use the same clothes during the weekend. He was pretty good this time...

...will the comics be better? Gary takes this one personally for what ANT did to Todd, and he thinks that it will be better for the house and the contest if he took ANT out. He won't beat anyone as he recycles his material that he used in Vegas. Zzzzzzzz....

'This is actually the moment that I've been waiting for my whole entire career.' This should be ANT's round to win unless, 1. he repeats his same exact sketch that he does every single time and 2. he goes into his gay schtick to a crowd who probably aren't as gay-friendly as the normal groups. Well, he does have new material, but the gayness is all over the place AND he throws this in. 'I see a placard that says jerk to operate' so I look for George Bush'. That gets a lot of boos, and although the skit was funny, and the best that I have heard him, I think he alienated way too many people in his sketch to get the win. I would be amazed if he won, but I don't think he did his homework.

If it's a close vote, ANT may have snuck out the win. IF the margin is wide, then the match goes to Gary. Jay says that the margin is 73%-27%, which means that Gary will win.....and he does. Gary - 'Ding Dong, the witch is dead. I'm on Cloud 9.'

ANT leaves and he wipes the tears off of his face. 'The back-biting, the conniving...it's been really fun. Am I the brains behind the alliance? No. Someone else is pulling the strings and I am just their little puppet.' I didn't think so, and I believe that a specific Sicillian women may have something to do with that. Don't worry, ANT - I am sure there must be many tour bus companies out there that would love to employ you.

Let me get on my podium for a second. The three comics who not only were questionable, but who should not have been in the house to begin with, are the first three out. Does it legitimize everyone else? Sure, but the quality of the show would have been better with Dan, Jim and TIm in that house. How much more quality? I don't know, but with more talent and less drama, maybe they wouldn't have lost to Big Brother and Amazing Race in the last ratings battle.

Next week, one of the comics will lose in the head-to-head battle. Turn in next week to find out who that is.