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Into the House - June 22

We start this episode with a recap of what happened on the last episode - with no sniff of Drew Carey having a hissy-fit. Do you sort of think that the ending part of Drew and Brett was added in once their temper-tantrum made the public airwaves? Me thinks possibly...

But we are here to celebrate the ten (my opinion - 7) best comedians in the house. They are not in the house yet, as they are travelling by yellow school bus. ANT comments that it's the closest he's been to the Hollywood Sign (and it may be the closest that you get to Hollywood, ANT). We finally see the house, but it's not a house. This is the Comedian Castle, accompanied by gargoyles and the 'Abandon Ye All Hope Those Who Enter' sign. Corey sums it up - 'Man , we have to live in the Scooby Dooby House.'

Jay explains the rules. Each week, two comedians will battle - one of them will be eliminated. When it gets down to 5 people, those five will compete in the live finale to be the Last Comic Standing.

The comedians enter the castle, complete with a medieval theme - along with a 60's decor and a pool table. 'If the Brady Kids were allowed to build their own castle, this is what it would be like.' says Kathleen, while Bonnie is sure that the area has been used for porn.

John equates the red room to the Amityville Horror, while Alonzo and Todd room together in the white room. Todd then starts being his annoying self and falls down the spiral staircase, and Alonzo immediately calls for rules in terms of when he can and can't be annoying. I like Alonzo already.

I also like Corey - but he is stuck in the same (green) room as ANT. 'They stuck me up with someone who is as homophobic as can be' says ANT, and right on cue, Corey, who feels uncomfortable, decides to sleep with a golf club in his bed.

We once again see the return of the Fortune Teller, who gives the comics their first assignment. The comedians have to leave the castle and entertain the unwashed masses. Jay Mohr reminds them that there is always something on the line - and this time, the line happens to have clothes on it. The assignment this week is to make people laugh while they are doing their laundry. Todd Glass does his usual job of getting people to laugh. 'My grandfather had wooden legs. He burnt up in a fiery explosion.'

Jay London goes up and does his esoteric humor - which will do nothing for the crowd. Alonzo talks about how they are supposed to be famous people, and that gets a few chuckles. Bonnie talks about how she gave money to someone who wanted crack and they turned around and bought a turkey sandwich. That was as funny as it sounded and only the comedians laughed. Not even all of them laughed, as Jay London was staring into space. Bonnie took this personally and she said the experience was disconcerting. I wonder if she is going to take it personally...

Gary Gulman talks about postage stamps and Kathleen Madigan talks about waitressing - all to the sound of crickets. John caters to the kids - and the only c omedy that he gets is when a woman blows past him to use the bathroom. 'Can I do my act in there, because that's where my act is going.' ANT will join him, as he repeats the SAME ACT that he has done every single time - except for this line - 'I will be folding sweaters at the GAP tomorrow.'

Corey actually gets the women laughing when he talks about going out with the women at the laundromat. Tammy tries to talk, but her voice is gone and she can't go. She notices that certain comedians are concerned while others are smiling that she can't perform. She's taking mental notes...

Someone else was taking notes, too, as the comedians finish their performances. That person is Debbie Drimmer, who is a representative for HBO's Comedy Festival in Aspen, Colorado. One of those people will be preforming at the show the next morning. That person is...

...well we don't know yet, because we get a comedy spotlight on Kathleen Madigan. She talks about figure skating and chopping off a guy's fingers. I think the good part about this is that it showcases the comedian's humor - especially ones who you don't get to see in challenges. The bad news is that that segment wasn't very funny.

Back to the show, and the person who gets the festival bid is Corey Holcomb. He uses the Marquis Jet Card (sound familiar? See The Apprentice) and he gets to pick someone else to go with him. He picks the one person that has helped him out so far - Kathleen Madigan. She is thrilled and they leave together.

With them gone, chaos starts to emerge, as Bonnie sets her jealous sights on Tammy. See, Tammy, before the competition started, gave everyone good luck cards, and Bonnie goes after her, saying that she wishes everyone luck, though she didn't give out a card. That upsets Tammy, who tells Bonnie to f#ck herself. Tammy's response? 'Some people are so demented that they mistook kindness for weakness.' Bonnie is one of those demented people, as she is planning...

...but enough planning, as Corey and Kathleen travel to Aspen. 'I wonder what everyone is doing at the house?' asks Corey. Todd and Alonzo are snoring, which annoys Gary, who is trying to read. While Corey and Kathleen continue to yuck it up in the house, Alonzo, Tammy, ANT and Jay London have created the first alliance. ANT - 'We're not only voting on who we think is funny or not, we're voting on who is irritating us the most.' Cue to Todd, who is singing 'The Annoying Song', who's lyrics include that he is singing the song to get attention. We now see why the producers wanted Todd Glass in the house and I really hope he's the first one gone.

The alliance members are all staring at each other. Bonnie notices that the alliance may be created for ANT to get attention over Todd. John notices that there are 2 groups - the gossip artists and the people who don't care. Todd, John, Bonnie and Gary don't seem to care that they are annoying everyone - and even Bonnie asks Todd to tone it down a notch. Of course, he doesn't, and Todd is losing friends. 'Todd is trying to have a good time', notices Bonnie, 'while ANT is trying to win a competition.'

Obviously, Bonnie is in the people who don't care group, because she goes talks to ANT about who to vote for. ANT wants to get rid of Todd, while Bonnie wants to get rid of Tammy, as she thinks that Tammy choked in the laundromat competition. Bonnie REALLY hasn't been paying attention, or else she would have realized that Tammy is in ANT's alliance. Needless to say ANT tells Tammy, and Tammy wants to annihilate Bonnie in the stand-up competition. 'Stupid, Stupid Wh#re. I've been to war, b#tch.' as Tammy is planning Bonnie's demise.

Comedy Spotlight - Alonzo Boden. He says that Black people don't hijack planes - 'because you can't sell an airplane'. That was good.

It's now Corey's turn for the spotlight. He once again starts with the ghetto portion, and most of the stuff is recycled, but the audience enjoyed it. He thinks it's hard to make industry people laugh, but he thinks that it paid off.

ANT wonders about John Heffron, and he tries to recruit him into voting with the group. John is thinking about it as Kathleen and Corey fly back to the house. They think that ANT and Todd are at each other's throats, and they are sort of right, as ANT wants to take out first. Tammy wants to do a mafia strategy and knock off the people around him first...

We'll see what strategy is employed as Jay brings back the 'I know I'm funnier than' segment. Each person votes for the person who thinks they are funnier than, and the person who has the most votes will challenge one of the people who voted for them. 'If you say you are funnier than someone, you better mean it' warns Jay. ANT goes out of the booth, and Bonnie doesn't even give him a high five. MEOW.

The voting is over, and we'll see who voted for whom...

Ant votes for Bonnie
Alonzo votes for Bonnie
Todd votes for Tammy
Garry votes for Jay (and adds a 'Thank You' in there for good measure)
Bonnie votes for Corey
Corey votes for ANT
Jay votes for Bonnie
Kathleen votes for Bonnie
Tammy votes for Bonnie
Jay - 'Unless the next person votes 5 times, Bonnie, you will be performing tonight.'
John votes for Bonnie, and he bases it on comedy.

Bonnie says that she's taking someone down. She can take out one of the alliance, but she says that she can beat them. She could prove that she is the best female comic in the house by going after Kathleen or Tammy, but she decides to go after...her own alliance partner, John. WHA? That's ridiculously bad strategy, as she is trying to knock out her own partner by taking his vote against her personally. She does not deserve to be in the house to begin with, and she's going up against someone who does. This could get ugly.

It's going to get ugly before the showdown even starts. Bonnie says that she didn't pick a woman because she didn't want to be catty. Tammy wonders why she is picking now not to be catty. Bonnie says that she didn't call Tammy a wh#re and calls her sensitive, 'and you still want to go at me?' MEEEEEEOOOOOW.

John realizes that his strategy of voting with the herd went right down the toilet. Bonnie realizes now how to play the game, and she warns everyone how awkward it would be if she gets back to the house. Awkward - but good drama.

Jay invites everyone to the Last Comic Theater for the showdown. Jay does his own sketch about how the homeless people are upset because certain homeless people are more tan than others. He goes into the homeless olympics and he's pretty good.

Will the comics be better? Not in friendville, as Bonnie is still pissed at John for backstabbing her. Will that anger help or hurt her in the competition? She repeats her opening set from the show with the cops with the sunglasses and the AA meetings. I didn't like it when she did the jokes then, and I don't like it now. Assuming that John does anything good - even his repeated stuff which I wasn't nuts about, he should win this.

John is up. He talks about being over 30 and carrying Tums instead of condoms. I am not nuts about his material either, but the audience it eating up John's material and Bonnie is in deep doodoo.

We have the first vote of the second season, and as Jay calls it, it's a rout. John Heffron wins it, 94% to 6%. John says that it wasn't a victory, as 'I would have wanted 8 other people out of the house before Bonnie.' Bonnie retorted that she thought that there were people in the house that were easier, 'I guess I'm wrong.' Maybe not, but your strategy was horrendous. You always pick the person to protect your butt. One loss = gone. Not a good game player, not a good comedian.

So one of my non-favorites are gone. If only they can get rid of Todd Glass...we'll see if that pleasure happens next week.