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The Japanese game show that took YouTube by storm has come to America... and to the TV. It's time to face the holes.
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Freedom
Rappers vs. Guitar Heroes/Rock Lovers vs. Flavors of the
Month Tonight, in a special "celeb" edition, three chicks from Rock of Love will take on three chicks from Flavor of Love. But who will show love to the holes? We'll find out in a moment, but first, facing the holes...
Round 1: SOLO WALL First up, Vince, an MC and artist from Philadelphia AKA the city of Brotherly Love AKA the Illadelph AKA Gateway to Atlantic City (C-Note: ... trust me on that last one). His first hole... a handspin... He almost had it, but he can't leg up. NOT CLEAR. Next comes Phil, who once proposed to his wife in the shower. If he doesn't clear the wall, he'll be taking a bath. His first hole... a martini glass. He crouches... but his booty's too big to fit in the stem. NOT CLEAR. Round 2: DOUBLE WALL Raphael AKA I Look Good in This AKA I'm Gonna Be in That Water Loving It and Sabela AKA Oversold 7 have been breaking and rapping for 25 years and over 15,000 rhymes. Together, they take on a two-person manhug... and athleticism and brain power... and a bit of homoeroticism pay off. CLEAR for two! Tony is called the secret weapon because of his size. Brian's secret weapon... drumming with his feet. I'm afraid you'll have to use your whole body on this. The hole is... a human wheelbarrow... They jumped... but it was too low, too little, too late. Freedom Rappers get 2. Guitar Heroes get wet. Round 3: TRIPLE WALL First up, the Freedom Rappers with.. a descending block AKA the downward-facing slide.. And they get through the hole by making it larger. NOT CLEAR. They lined up well, but just collapsed at the end. Next, the Guitar Heroes can take the lead with ... the dancing ball. Little man Tony can jump through the middle, but the other two get stuck. NOT CLEAR. Freedom Rappers continue their lead, 2-0. Round 4: SPEED ROUND Our Freedom Rappers begin with... walking like an Egyptian. Remember, this is also for $5000. And I believe, the judges have called it... Raphael clears it for 2 more, 4 total. The Guitar Heroes need to clear two to tie, three to win. If they do tie, both teams will face the Money Wall. But now... more dancing. Tony and Brian clear (by yea much). So no one wins $25,000, but BOTH teams will try for $50,000 in... Final Round: BLIND WALL Playing for the Guitar Heroes... wee man Tony. He's cleared every hole he's faced. Can he clear... the high kick? Nope, as he goes for a trip. He takes a drop into the pool... eventually. Playing for the Freedom Rappers... Ninja-style papi Raphael. He cleared more holes than anyone else on his team. Can he clear.. the raise-the-roof? YES! $50,000! AND Hole in the Wall history, becoming the first player to clear the Blind Wall. He fell through the hole and landed on 50 Gs... and they celebrate by dancing.And now, the crosspollination of primetime... err... favorites?
This game hasn't even started and it's proving to be disastrous. But that's just me. Round 1: SOLO WALL Ambre has been dancing since the age of 6, and has since been volunteering her time to teach seniors how to dance. Hopefully she'll dance through... the martini glass... And unlike the first game, she's CLEAR! Probably not the first time Ambre has gotten on her knees for a martini. Now comes captain Brooke AKA Pumkin, who's been on four different game shows, all of them (with the exception of Family Feud) excruciatingly painful to watch. Speaking of pain, here comes... the splits. Instead, she does the crouch. Now she's doing... the doggy-paddle. Rock Lovers lead, 1-0. Round 2: DOUBLE WALL Originally from Libby, MT, Destiney enjoys classical music. Jessica says she loves crosswords and that her hair is real. And now facing the intrepid two... the pre-snap. Jessica gets through no problem, but Destiney gets rejected... a pose she's all-too familiar with. Next comes Saaphyri, who teaches self-improvement to kids after having completed an anger-management course. Becky AKA Buckwild is a former convicted felon who's madly in love with Gary Busey... yeah, I'd believe it. Coming at'em... the two-man totem.. Saaphyri gets through it, but Buckwild... she just gets slammed. Now this is the easiest hole to clear. What the heck was going on? Score remains 1-0, Rock Lovers. Round 3: TRIPLE WALL First up, the Rock Lovers. They get the AK47... and two of them get smoked. Then comes the Flavors of the Month. They get an all-too familiar... C. But Buckwild's C is a bit more like an F. NOT CLEAR. Score remains the same, 1-0 for the rockers. Round 4: SPEED ROUND Rock Lovers are first, and they can put it away right here, right now, with the "Sir, You Forgot Your Hat!" wall. If all three players clear, it's game and match and $5000. The good news, Destiney gets through the hole. The bad news... Ambre broke her hole in the process. NOT CLEAR. Now comes the hard bit... The Flavors only need to clear ONE. This should be easy right. They get the broken triangle. And Buckwild.. was just broken. Looking at the replay... Two people down, and Saaphyri's giant ass breaks the third hole. NOT CLEAR! Rock Lovers win it, 1-0. Final Round: BLIND WALL Ambre gets the call up to the Play Area for it. She's the only player to clear a hole this entire game. She's the logical choice. For $100,000, it's time to face... The crooked L... Ambre needed to bend. She was right there... but she couldn't do it in time. NOT CLEAR. But the Rock Lovers will split $25,000 for a job done just good enough. And they didn't even have to get all religious with an 80s rock star. That's all the time we have... Now TRY to GET some SLEEP out there! |
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