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Today is

"Let's Make a Deal" - June 1

A return to the trading floor...

Episode 2 of Game Show Marathon opens with Ricki making an audience entrance, and a quick recap of what happened on our last episode. Brande Roderick, seated in Finalists' Row, is now dressed as a Cavewoman, complete with club. Why, you ask? Because tonight, "our celebrities, dressed as they are have come to make deals in the Marketplace of America!"

Following the retrospective, which even included clips from the conservative pilot episode, the giant TV opens up to reveal our three doors, the title flown in from the ceiling, and Brandi "Carol Merrill" Sherwood in a peach bell-bottom outfit. Ricki is now introduced as "America's Big Dealer," and away we go!

Lance "Big Banana" Bass will be tonight's first dealer, holding a sing reading, "Ricki, pick me...I'm the best of the bunch!" Well, Lance, here's your deal. Ricki's Money Machine, brought to us down the stairs by Rusty, comes complete with checks loaded with money, and a BANKRUPT slip. Should Lance draw out the BANKRUPT, it's all over. The first check is a freebie, worth $5000. Lance goes on, pulling a $2000 check. Hesitation sets in a bit, but Lance continues, pulling a $3000 check, bringing his total to $10G's. At that point, he has Rusty snip the check strip and hand over the $10,000. But, was there more? A $500 check...a $1500 check...a $5000 check...and BANKRUPT. However, the deal isn't over! Lance can either keep the money, or trade it for Curtain #1 (Hint sign: OUTDOOR) or Curtain #2 (Hint sign: INDOOR). Cut to break, giving Lance time to think.

We return to the Marathon, and Lance will trade the money for Curtain #1, as he is from Mississippi and "an outdoors man." What's behind #2? Our first ZONK of the night: Gilbert Gottfried in a bathtub, yelling "I'M TAKING A BATH! YOU SICK PERVERTS!" Thankfully, Lance traded for #1...a LINCOLN NAVIGATOR 4X2 worth $50,990!

Dealer #2: "Dr." Leslie Nielsen. Here comes Rusty down the aisle again with five grocery of which Ricki presents to Leslie; Aspercreme worth $8.99. The Deal: there is another product on that tray worth $8.99. If he picks it, he can win a pair of Yamaha Strataliner motorcycles, valued at $33,160. The products in question: Viactiv soft chews, Bayer low-dose aspirin, Glad ForceFlex trash bags, and Garlique supplement. Taking the audience's advice, Leslie goes with the Viactiv. Before we get to any revealing, Leslie can take a sure thing: a Vespa LX50 scooter worth $3199. Leslie says no, confident in his vitamin chews. ForceFlex: $6.49 and all is well. Bayer: $11.97 and all is well. Garlique: $8.99 and a chill fills the room. But, Ricki "didn't say there couldn't be more than one that costs $8.99." Again, Ricki offers the sure thing, throwing in $10,000 in cash. Leslie bails, taking $13,199 in cash and prize. Viactiv: $8.99. Ouch.

Now, it's time for you at home to get in on the action. "In this classic clip from 1972, behind what door is the Big Deal located?" Answer at the end of this story.

With that painful loss, we need a bright spot. Dealer #3: Paige "Bo Peep" Davis, with Sophie the dog in sheep's clothing. The Deal: a $1.50 box of Altoids that may be worth a lot more. Does Paige trade for Curtain #2? She shakes her Altoids, and says no. Curtain #2: JEEP WRANGLER SE, valued at $19,135. Alright, would you like to trade for Curtain #3, and what's behind a $50 supply of Turtle Wax? Nope. Curtain #3: DODGE CHARGER, valued at $22,995. Wow. Alright, would you like to trade for Curtain #1, Hint Sign: GROUND TRANSPORTATION. Thinking it could be a skateboard, Paige clutches the Altoids. Curtain #1: CADILLAC CTS V6 VVT, valued at $35,080! Paige has turned down a total of $77,210 in cars. The Altoids have to have something good inside. Well, there's a check...worth only $3500.

Next, Ricki's got a deal for the "Fuzz." Dealer #4: "Officer" Tim Meadows, sign reading "I wanna cop a deal!" For this deal, we'll need two civilian contestants...Hippie Laura, and Kitty Cat Heather. The Deal: each person is given 2-$1000 packs of $100 bills and is shown four boxes (3 small, 1 large) on the display floor. These boxes will cost our traders $1000 each if they would like to buy them.

Box #1: Laura buys, Tim passes, Heather passes. What's in the box? A Dell XPS-M 170 notebook computer, valued at $2353.

Box #2: Laura passes, Tim passes, Heather buys. What's in the box? Gilbert Gottfried's Dirty Jokes DVD, valued at $14.99.

Box #3: Laura passes, Tim buys, Heather passes. What's in the box? A pair of his & her Rolex watches, valued at $7250.

Box #4, the big one: Laura buys, Tim passes, Heather buys. What's behind the box? A Heartland Appliances "Flame" refrigerator, valued at $6130, AND 24 Cold Stone Creamery cakes (2 a month) worth $840, making the total value $6970.

The civilians are dismissed with their computer, DVD, and fridges, but Ricki isn't done with Tim. Rusty comes down the aisle with a small box. The NEW Deal: Keep the $1000 and the watches OR trade it for the box OR trade it for Curtain #1. Tim...goes...for...the...Curtain. What could be in that little box? A card which reads: EVERYTHING IN THIS DEAL $16,587.99. BIG OUCH! Tim thinks there could be a donkey behind the Curtain. Instead, it's Baby Gilbert Gottfried in a HIGH chair! "Hey Ricki, I think I need my diaper changed! Can we hurry this up? I'm having a picnic with Michael Jackson!" Tim goes back to his seat, ZONKED!!

It's now that magical time...THE BIG DEAL OF THE NIGHT! Lance Bass, with $50,990. Do you want to trade for a shot at an $87,000 deal? No way, because the seat next to Brande is still empty. Leslie Nielsen with $13,199 worth of cash and Vespa. "OF COURSE I'LL TRADE!" Paige Davis, with $3501.50 in cash and Altoids. "Yeah, I'll go for it." Leslie takes Door #1, Paige takes Door #2, and we take a commercial.

Where do we look first? Door #1. Noritake dinnerware, valued at $1352.50. A Broyhill dining room, valued at $6975.00. Making the total value of Leslie's deal $8327.50.

Now we Door...Number...TWO! Ricardo Bevery Hills Del Mar luggage, valued at $940. Night Owl Night vision binoculars, valued at $799. An 11-day African Photo safari, sponsored by Big Five Travel, valued at $14,800. Making the total value of Paige's deal $16,539.

With no one taking the BIG DEAL, the banana takes his place in Finalists' Row. The BIG DEAL was behind Door #3. A Clarion NICE in-car navigation system, valued at $1,299.99. A DODGE VIPER SRT-10, driven by Gilbert Gottfried, valued at $85,745. Making the BIG DEAL worth $87,044.99. Gilbert yells "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING??" as we go to credits.

The classic Bud Collyer Beat The Clock set will be behind the TV on Wednesday!

STATS: $92,164.49; 1 successful deal, 1 early bailout, 2 ZONK


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