the Samuel Goldwyn Company presented us with the first American
Gladiators. After seven years of confrontations, most excellent hits,
and champions abound, it went off the air……until now. Forget Gladiators
2000, this is AG for the new millennium.
thousands of potentials, only 12 men and 12 women made the final cut.
At stake: $100,000, a new Toyota Sequoia, and the honor of becoming the
next American Gladiator. Let’s meet our first four contenders.
5’10” 145 lbs.
5’5” 140 lbs.
5’5” 190 lbs.
5’10” 180 lbs
is Powerball. It’s just as you remember it, but it’s now 60 seconds and
there’s a padded border surrounding the playing field. The women are up
first and are going against Venom, Siren, and Stealth. Koya gets 3
goals thanks to the wider buckets for 6 points. Jesse only gets two
before knee buckles half-way through, preventing her from doing anything
but lay in pain for the final part.
start with Powerball, too, and are up against Titan, Toa, and Wolf.
Chad only gets 2, but Tony gets 6 goals for 12 points.
for the women will be the Joust, but not for Jesse. Her twisted knee
prevents her from continuing and will be replaced with rehab physician
Venus Ramos. She faces Crush on a closer platform than before and not
to mention the water below. Speaking of water, that’s where Venus ends
up after about 10 seconds. Koya, however, knocks Crush down, but not
over, and 30 seconds later, the red contender leads 11-2 at the half-way
for the men is Hang Tough. Five rows of rings above, water below, and
Militia across. It only takes 17 seconds for Tony to sprint across the
way to get 10 points. Adding injury to insult, Militia hurt his arm and
gets replaced by Wolf just in time for Chad. The two meet on the rings,
and that’s the end for Chad. The firefighter leads 22-2 after two.
round 3 is Earthquake, a 30-second wrestling match on a moving, shaking,
above-ground ring. Venus leads off and goes against Fury. Fury gets
off a good body slam, but it doesn’t get Venus off, earning the
contender 5 points. Koya manages to get Fury to the edge, but the Glad
grabs the rope suspending the floor, tossing Koya to the mat and zero
points. Venus gets within 4.
round 3 is the UK import Hit and Run. Just think of it as the shuttle
run on a suspension bridge over water and with giant 100-lb medicine
balls being hurled by Toa, Titan, Justice, and Wolf. Anthony leads off
and is able to make 5 passes within the 60 seconds for 10 big points.
Chad……not so much. He gets two points before getting KO’d into the
drink. He now trails 32-4.
event is Pyramid. Same as always, but now 5 points is awarded for
making it past the dotted line. Koya faces Crush, and Venus is against
Venom. Venus is able to pass the line for 5, and Koya almost does the
same, but her leg is still on the level below as time expired so no
points. Heading into the Eliminator, Venus takes her first lead of the
men’s side, Anthony is against Toa, while Chad faces Mayhem. The
skateboarder does zip, but Anthony is able to slip his shadow for a
breakaway. However, the clock hits zero before he can hit the button.
He does get 5, though and takes the 37-4 lead heading into the biggest,
baddest, Eliminator ever.
- Swim under a wall of fire
- 30-foot cargo net
- Barrel roll
- Balance beam
- Pyramid climb
- Zip line
- Wall climb
As in days
of old, every point of lead means a ˝ second of head-start time. Koya
is able to clear the wall first, but Venus is able to catch up on the
cargo net. Koya gains the lead again, but falls off the handbike.
However, Venus falls as well, allowing the gap to lengthen. Koya
approaches the Travelator at the 1’40 mark but falls and continues to
fail while Venus inches her way through and is able to get up the
Travelator on her first try, winning in 3’37.6.
other side, Anthony has a 16.5 second head start over Chad. Anthony’s
unconventional swimming style and lack of expedience on the cargo net
allows Chad to make up a lot of time, but the firefighter is just too
far ahead and clocks in victory at 2’10.3.
this is a network game show premiere, it has to be dragged out longer
than necessary, but luckily, there is an undercard, and here it is.
5’11” 208 lbs
Ad Sales/Former AG contestant
5’7” 155 lbs
Day Care Provider
5’7” 138 lbs
Retired U.S. Marine
5’5” 141 lbs
is the Gauntlet. 2 points per Gladiator passed, 10 over all by breaking
the wall in 30 seconds. The men lead off, going against Wolf, Toa,
Titan, and Justice. Moli starts out well, but Justice ends his run at 6
points. Jeff (who missed his 60 minutes of fame in ’94 due to traffic)
gets off to a less favorable start. Not only does he jump the gun, he
starts messing around with Wolf and trying to smack Toa around. On the
restart, Toa gives Jeff the business, but the former contender is able
to eke past all 4 in the half-minute for 8 points and the early lead.
women, Venom, Siren, Fury, and the infamous Hellga block the path.
However, both Shanay and Bonnie get the full 10 points.
for the men is the Joust. Mayhem is the opponent, but he had this funny
problem of stepping over to the other platform. Just like before,
that’s an automatic DQ and both Moli and Jeff get 10 points, making it
18-16 Jeff at the half.
for the women is the Wall. After 7 seconds, Venom will chase Shanay and
Stealth will go after Bonnie. Both Glads make a good effort, but it
just isn’t enough. Bonnie clears in 38 seconds for 10 points, and
Shanay gets up in 59 for 5. The ex-marine leads at the half 20-15.
start the 2nd half with a more complex Assault. Justice will
simply fire off the 100 mph tennis balls. Jeff gets off the slingshot
and turret, but a butt shot stops his run at 2 points. Moli gets
farther but has problems with the Sand Pit objective, and time expires
with only 2 points, so he still trails by two.
Game 3 for
the gals is Hang Tough and Fury will be the Glad. The two meet, but
Bonnie is too strong. Fury is shaken off with 12 seconds left, but
Bonnie has no momentum, so she gets 5 for the draw. Shanay tries some
aerial dodging and pulls it off for the full 10, and it’s a tie game
round for the men is Pyramid. Jeff gets and old friend in Wolf and Moli
gets Titan. The two go nowhere but down, resulting in the first
shutout, and the score remains 20-18 in favor of Jeff.
and Run for the women. Stealth, Crush, Siren, and Fury will be doing the
Hitting. Shanay only gets one pass for 2 points, but Bonnie doesn’t
even get that far. Shanay leads 27-25 going into the Eliminator.
leads are the order of the day, and the men will lead us off. Moli gets
the early lead, but Jeff closes in and overtakes on the cargo net. Jeff
falls off the hand bike, which allows Moli to take the big lead and
takes the win at 2’13.4.
women’s side, Bonnie hits her nose on a metal bar protecting the
contenders from the above-water firewall. She never is able to fully
recover and Shanay wins in 2’22.4.
for now. Four more contenders square off tomorrow night against the