"Episode 1" - June 7
You just started a new job.
Now imagine that you need to get yourself FIRED from
that job. Should you do that, then you'll pick up
$25,000. By the way, did I mention that you will have to
be fired as close to 3pm as possible because you will be
competing against someone else who also needs to be
fired? Let me also add that if you get fired after 3pm,
that you win NOTHING!
This show is either going to be funny or it's going to
be a mess. We'll see which one it is as we meet...
Contestant #1 - Kurt Basa, a teacher from Dallas,
TX. He gets to work out at a coffee house and tries to
scald his way out of a company.
Contestant #2 - Katie Wise, a yoga instructor
from Los Angeles, CA. She gets to work at a clothing
store and doesn't want to make the final cut.
The shop owners know that this is a ruse. No one else in
the store does. Dave Holmes is the host who says that it
pays to get fired. Let's see if it pays to be watching
this show. Dave explains that the contestants can do
1. Break the law
2. Ask to be fired
3. Tell anyone that they are on a hidden TV show or say
anything about the show.
We start with Kurt going into the Awakenings Coffee
Store. His co-workers are Molly, John and Grant, and the
boss is Janice, who doesn't like unmotivated, lazy,
know-it-alls. He starts it off by acting like a football
player and spiking his uniform. Janice gives him a W4
form, and he says that he's done these before, which
gets a nervous smile from Janice. Kurt talks to the
patrons and tells them to call him different names, as
Janice already says that she can't deal with him. Off to
a flying start...
Katie, meanwhile, starts at the store with Sally and
Esther as her co-workers and Katherine (who hates messy,
slow people who don't get it) as her boss. Katie is
introduced to the clothes, and she gets herself
acquainted with it by fondling, sniffing and playing
with the Velcro straps. She fondles them and makes meow
noises while showing them off to patrons.
Back to Kurt, who is causing strife by asking if
everyone gets started off at $14 an hour. he then tells
Janice that he knows what he's doing - and mangles the
hot water heater. Janice is trying to help him out, but
even she is going nuts.
Kate is asked to clean the top of the closet showcase -
which she does by climbing up 4 feet to the top of it.
She then lies down on the top of the showcase, which
pretty much takes the point out of cleaning it.
Kurt is making lots of noise in both yelling out the
orders and doing play-by-play on his coffee making.
Katie has cold hands, so she makes them warm by feeling
up Katherine. She then runs past Kelly - with her hands
still in Katherine's armpits. As Dave says, we've got
ourselves a game.
We're at 11:05 am. Kurt talks to Grant, who plays in a
band. He calls the music a sign of the devil and then
insists to Molly's boyfriend to call her 'Pistol' from
Katie still needs to feel more things. She washes a
mirror, buts globs of cleaners on the window and then
sings the window cleaning song. She puts a flower on her
head and knocks over a wardrobe rack.
Grant is playing cup baseball, using stacked coffee cups
and wrinkled up newspaper.
Katie likes her coffee...slurped real loudly in front of
Kurt meets Maggie the patron, who tells her that he is
studying in ambidextrous science. As he tells her that
his father taped his arm to his body, Janice is watching
Katherine has had enough and has complained to her boss,
who agrees as they set up the Eenie-Meenie-Miney-Mo game
as to who should fire Katie. That's good for Katie - but
at the 12:40 pm mark, that's also way too early. Katie
comes back from lunch and Katherine tells her that there
are too many people and she is not needed. Katie
realizes that she needs to cool it. and offers to work
in the back.
1:15 pm - Kurt sings another song while Katie works in
the back and does yoga on a chair. Kurt talks about
singing on the phone and talks about drinking too much
1:30 pm - Katie is called to call her ride to pick her
up. It turns out that someone was spying on her - and
sees that she did no such thing. Katherine is trying to
get her to leave...
...and Kurt is getting to that point as he gets into an
argument with Janice on the cash register.
Katie is doing cartwheels on the floor. Grace is looking
on, shaking her head.
Kurt is giving the kid extra scoops as Janice watches
him also start yelling at the customers.
Katie is opening up bags and throwing the paper tissue
all over the place. Grace is now on her case. Katherine
has had enough, calls her on the lying issue and says
that she is on a different planet from everyone else.
She gets a hug and gets fired at 2:56 pm.
2:56 is a very good time, Can Kurt beat that? Grant is
warning him that Janice is going to call the cops on
him, as he's being loud and abusive. Kurt is yelling at
them and says that he's not going to be calm. Sure
enough, the cops show up and Kurt says that they will
not be fired. Janice then fires him, as he runs over to
Janice, gives her a hug and kiss, and then runs out the
We're done with the activity. Kurt gets fired at...
2:58. She gets a congratulatory hug by Katie as Kurt
walks off with the money.
So that ends game #1. Yay. You mean there's another one?
Game 2 -
Contestant #1 - Cherise Bangs, a saleswoman from
Walnut Creek, CA. She's a long haired blonde-brunette
who is now working at a hat store.
Contestant #2 - Rachel Stolte, a makeup artist
from Los Angeles, CA - but she's going to be at a
boutique in Long Island. Her hair is cropped and
Cherise gets to work at Jeannie's Dream. Her co-worker
is Danny and her boss is Nancy, who doesn't like people
who question her authority, dress improperly or dress
using store merchandise. Cherise is already on the wrong
foot when Nancy doesn't like her shoes - or her body
odor. We get a laugh track on this episode - the first
episode didn't have a laugh track.
Rachel gets the boutique called 'Girlfriends'. Lori and
Jodi are the co-workers, while Karen (who hates people
who redo the displays, don't follow instructions or are
annoying) is the boss. Karen tells Rachel that the
important thing is too listen, but apparently, she isn't
doing that, as she immediately goes after the make-up
and starts trying it out.
Cherise does a Miss America impersonation - with a
store-owned tiara. She does the impersonations for the
next hour, which doesn't make the boss thrilled. The
first comment - 'She's freaking weird', which gets
weirder as she takes her stilettos off and walks around
in her high-heels.
It's 11am, and Rachel is going through the plastic balls
and making crunchy noises.
Cherise is wearing more hats, prompting Nancy to warn
her to not start with her. It goes unheeded, as Cherise
tries out more hats.
Rachel whistles while she works, which drives everyone
else nuts. They tell her to stop, but she keeps going
and she even whistles some sort of melody line.
11:56 am - Cherise is doing a Miss America skit with a
vogue hat and a stick, which she is twirling. Even the
customers are staring at her now.
Rachel, being tired or working, decides to take a walk
around the place while her co-workers talk about how
uncomfortable she is making them. This should make them
even more uncomfortable - she's trying on bras and
talking on her cell phone.
Nancy asks Cherise how long she's supposed to stay here.
She says 5:30. Nancy says that it's not going to happen.
They get into an argument about time. Cherise better
watch it, or she may be going home much earlier than
Rachel could be as well, as she is playing with a very
creaky gate. She asks for WD40 and it looks like she may
get it - in her ears.
Nancy tells Cherise that she has to dust. Cherise wants
to complain about it, but Nancy isn't going to hear any
of it. At 1:30 pm, she is trying on more clothes, then
takes it with her to the bathroom.
While Cherise is having a bathroom impulsion, Rachel is
having a walking impulsion as she walks around the room
2pm - Cherise asks about random drug testing. Nancy is
less that thrilled as Cherise walks away and holds her
hand up to her. Nancy - 'There's going to be a war'.
Rachel is setting up a display. A manager wants to know
what's going on and Rachel says to wait until she's
done. The manager, amazingly enough says ok. Oh boy...
Cherise gets on her knees with a skirt and the twirly
stick to help out a boy, bare feet and all.
2:30 pm - Rachel continues to walk, whistle, and
organizes displays. Lori calls her to the back and ask
if she's agitated. She says yes, because everyone thinks
that she's a freak. Karen tells her that it's a well-run
store, while Rachel turns around and says that it's just
a store that sells everything overpriced. Well, that
does it for Karen, and she fires Rachel at 2:48 pm.
Can Cherise get fired at a later time than 2:48 - but
before 3? She goes on her knees to Nancy, who asks when
she's coming back. She tells her to call Jeannie in the
morning. She goes to the back to complain, and at 2:56
pm, Nancy pays her. Cherise asks to call her now to find
out, and after a squabble of going back and forth, Nancy
fires her. I think it took longer than 4 minutes after
the 2:56 though...
It's time for the moment of truth. Cherise got fired
at...3:07. Because it's after 3pm, it's Rachel who gets
the money - and a hug from Dave. Cherise's downfall?
Nancy, who didn't want to fire her, and wanted Jeannie
to fire them.
We get the reactions from the employees, and for the
most part, they were laughing - though Janice still
wanted to kick Kurt's ass. My take? I want to kick the
producer's ass. I'm sorry, but I don't find this funny.
Maybe someone will, but I won't.
I find it even less funny that I have to cover this
show, but I'll go on and do it anyways. Join us in 7
days as we award $25,000 to two more people.