Week 1: The
Eight Wonder-Whys of the World
It's a new season of DWTS. Time to go to
work! Season 8 of the show is upon us. We're keeping the flow with
more dancing than ever before. And the plan is more stimulus
than....the economy. With that said, here comes your lineup.
Chuck Wicks (country singer)
Shawn Johnson (gymnast)
Lawrence Taylor (Former NY Giant; "Blitz The League")
Gilles Marini (actor)
Holly Madison ("The Girls Next Door", subbing for Nancy O'Dell)
Melissa Rycroft ("The Bachelor" subbing for Jewel)
Lil' Kim (rapper)
Belinda Carlisle ("The Go-Go's")
David Alan Grier ("In Living Color")
Steve Wozniak (founder of Apple)
Ty Murray (PBR legend)
Denise Richards (actress)
Cheryl Burke (2x champion; Giles partner)
Chelsie Hightower (SYTYCD alum; Ty's partner)
Lacey Schwimmer (took Lance Bass to the finals; Steve-O's
Edyta Sliwinska (Only person to appear in every season;
Karina Smirnoff (took Mario Lopez to finals; Steve's partner)
Johnathan Roberts (Belinda's partner)
Maksim Chmierkovskiy (Denise's partner)
Kym Johnson (Took Joey Fatone to the finals; David's partner)
Derek Hough (Won a title with Brooke Burke; Lil' Kim's partner)
Tony Dovolani (partnered with Stacy Keibler; Melissa's partner)
Mark Ballas (Took Kristi Yamaguchi to the title; Shawn's
Dimity Chaplin (SYTYCD alum; Holly's partner)
The gloves have been thrown off, and it's...TIME! The season is
To kick it off, Gilles & Cheryl dancing a cha-cha to "Addicted to
Love" by Robert Palmer. Cheryl did a few spins and both did a slow
swerve. Cheryl did a split and ducked for cover with a kick thanks to
Gilles. Now let's recover for safety with our judges. Carrie Ann said
it had great potential, Len said it pulled it off and Bruno said it
was sharp & sexy. Let's get the tablets and use a hammer to edge out
CARRIE ANN: 8
Total Score: 24
Remember, it'll be a cha-cha or a waltz. SO pay attention! Next up,
Shawn & Mark doing a waltz. One highlight you might see was a foot
drag by Shawn. Their score is a 23, one edged out by a tie for the
Next up, Melissa & Tony waltzing to "Moon River." Melissa did a spin
twirl and a slow kick. Everything else was elegant. On to the judges.
Carrie Ann wants her to be careful of not taking her so lightly, Len
said everything was on the toe and Bruno said it was a revelation.
That 23 from the gang ties Shawn for 2nd.
Next up, The Queen Bee takes her place in the ballroom hive doing a
cha-cha to "Nasty" by Janet Jackson. Both wowed the crowd with some
arm work and Kim did a split. Even one cane by the end of the song.
One sample of the judges critique came from Len, and he said it was
first class, but it's a 21 for 3rd, and Gilles so far, has the first
Flying up to the cockpit is Chuck & Julianne dancing together in the
ballroom with a waltz to "Are You Lonesome Tonight" by Elvis Presley.
One good highlight is Julianne doing a leg hold spin. To the judges
again. Carrie Ann talked about a lift in the routine, Len said he
needs better work on refining and Bruno said it was like chasing her.
a 20 means they got a long way to go.
Next up, David & Kym doing a waltz to "You Light Up My Life" by Debby
Boone. I guess they did elegant throughout. Bruno said it was leaning
too much to water. But a 19 gave them a splash just barely.
It'll be Holly & Dmitry's turn to uh....what was it? Oh yeah, "Just
Dance." That's the song in the cha-cha category sung by Lady Gaga. I
think it was fiery, don't you think? On to the judges. Carrie Ann said
it had a lot of charisma, Len said it wasn't bad and Bruno said it was
plenty to look at. Let's look at the scoreboard:
CARRIE ANN: 6
Total Score: 18
Not a good score, but they come in last place.
Next up, Denise & Maks doing a cha-cha to "Nothing But a Good time" by
Poison. Denise did a split and everything else was good...but it
wasn't. A tie for last means she'll make good for next week.
Belinda & Johnathan will be next to waltz to "What The World Needs
Now." Both spun around and she did a ballerina spin. She even did
another ballet spin and that was it. But she spun out too much to a
score of 17.
We're keeping things going with Steve-O & Lacey doing a waltz. Steve-O
did a flip ahead and Lacey did a slow split at the end. But in a split
second, a 17 gave them a tie for last.
Next will be Lawrence & Edyta doing a cha-cha to "25 Miles" by Edwin
Starr. Edyta did a split and that's pretty much it. They get a 16. Not
Ty & Chelsie get to cha-cha to "Train In Vain" by The Clash. Chelsie
did a heel drag, then ran to a corner and did a squat kick. Chelsie
did a split to end it, but that didn't save the show. No siree, bob.
Or did it? Let's go to the judges. Carrie Ann said to work on his
dancing, Len said he did come out & try it and Bruno said it looked
more like an army drill. Maybe I was 2 sentences behind. On to the
CARRIE ANN: 5
Total Score: 14
That'll give them last.
To wrap it up, Steve & Karina doing a cha-cha to "You Ain't Seen
Nothin' Yet" by BTO. After a pretty bad solo....never mind the
cameras....and took knee bends. To the judges one last time. Carrie
Ann said it went out on a limb, Len said it was a disaster and Bruno
said it was watching a Teletubby going mad. It's time we exit with
CARRIE ANN: 5
Total Score: 13
So, we get to award our top 3 stars and a big ball of tinfoil.
GOLD-GILLES & CHERYL-24
SILVERS-SHAWN & MELISSA-23
BRONZE-LIL' KIM & DEREK-21
Big Ball of Tinfoil-Steve & Karina
Well, the first week is in the books. Tune in again next week to see
if 2 more routines could put anyone in Gilles' way. Hope you don't
watch naked. See you in 7, gang. I'm out.