God help them.

This season, we go to West Texas, "cowboy country to the bone." Let's meet the eight wranglers hoping to make it there.

Candy; Lawyer; Sacramento, CA: spends most of her time working indoors. "What I lack in athletic prowess I make up for in heart."

Sal; Music director; Los Angeles: loves to make people laugh. Wants to prove himself the best darn cowboy from the city.

Rachel; Ballet teacher; New York City: thinks this will be a once in a lifetime experience.

George; Salesman; Oviedo, FL: feels like the cell phone is part of his body. "Going to Cowboy U.. will take me to places I've never been before."

Fawn; Fashion merchandiser; Los Angeles: loves to shop. Hates mud.

Corey; Personal trainer; Westwood, CA: loves motorcycles because of the freedom from not having to be in the same place in the same time. Is a bad winner and a bad loser.

Tera; graphic designer; Santa Monica, CA: recently divorced. She's at a crossroads in her life.

Brian; Artist; Lakeland, FL: Never really in a bad mood. He's ready to try something new.

Trademark phrase coming: no one knows what the hell they're getting into... First off: Rocco's word is law and gospel. They'll learn that first. Then they meet Judd, who starts each day by looking death in the face, eight seconds at a time. The ladies... all have a thing for him. Fawn: "If he's what cowboys look like.. sign me up!" The guys... are either awestruck or scared crapless. And Judd's first words: "That was a little demonstration of what you guys are going to be doing in two weeks."

Day 1: 11:30a. The slickers arrive at the house, and their luggage departs for parts unknown. Rocco arrives with eight saddlebags, saying that everything they'll need for the next 14 days are in them. He gives them an hour to get settled. Inside the bunkhouse, they learn three things:

1) With the presence of toiletries, Rocco was dead serious about not getting their luggage back.
2) Texans love dead animals for some reason.
3) The guys and the girls will be sharing one bunkhouse.

Corey: "God, I hope these people eat the right foods at night." More surprises await with the outdoor cold showers and two sizes too small jeans. "Cowboys in town, trouble expected."

Day 1: 1p - Wild Cow Milking. The first of many exposure to livestock. Their first assignment: milk the cow. Rocco: "If you really want to impress me, drink it." Rachel is the first up... and the first down. She's kicked. But she gets her milk at least. Brian gets some, then George, Tera (take a drink)... but Fawn got a little bit prissy. Candy also had a hard time, but faced her fear. Corey also got-r-dun (and that's the last time I'll EVER use that phrase!). Sal gets tail-whipped. "She killed my foot." It's official. Sal is officially perpetrating.

Day 1: 7:30p - Dinner. The only kosher meal the 'boys'll get, because the next meals will be made by them. Over dinner, Rocco & Judd explain how things work around here. Every so often, they'll evaluate the slickers on determination, the drive to succeed, etc. Best evaluation gets a prize. At the end of boot camp, we'll have a four-event rodeo, where the winner will get $25,000, which is typical prize money for a rodeo. If they had to ride a bull tomorrow... Rachel wouldn't get on it. First. Judd calls her the weak link. But the bad news: second week of boot camp, Rocco & Judd will begin cutting people down to four, boy-girl-boy-girl.

George thinks Sal is first to go, while Corey thinks Rachel is first.

Day 2: 5:30a - wake-up call. Rachel: "Good morning to you, too." They make their own breakfast (as planned... sort of), and Judd enters with chore chips. Each chip has a chore; whoever draws what will be responsible for that. And lucky Sal... He gets to muck the stalls! I think he likes it...

Day 2: 8:30a - roping lesson. "This is going to be bad." And indeed it is, as no one gets the wrist work off the bat. Fawn is the first one to rope a straw cow. "It's a rhythm. And I got plenty of rhythm, so that worked out real well." Candy and Corey get it as do others. Rocco: "There is hope for the American cowboy."

Yeah, just wait until... Day 2: 12 noon - horse assignment. Sure enough, Sal, the one with the biggest mouth, gets the horse with the biggest mouth. He gets Pitchfork. Rachel gets Bert. Corey gets Ali. Tera gets Scooby. George gets Jackpot. Brian gets Blueboy. Candy gets Lucky (heh). And Fawn gets Howie (named after her hospice-bound father).

Day 2: 2:30p - First riding lesson. Simple as left foot up, swing around, sit her down. Candy seems to have a problem with it. Everyone's getting around... except Bert. Rachel finally gets it, in time for everyone to dismount... and remount.  And Candy again has a problem with it. The main lesson here: heels down, toes up. Sal's talking too much to get the point.

And of course, since it's the first lesson, Rocco's going to call it "absolutely horrible."

Day 3: 6:30a. Time to chase pigs. Teams of two will have to corral two pigs each. Fastest team wins. Sal & Fawn are, reluctantly, a team. Brian & Rachel, Tera & Corey, and Candy & George also cowboy up. Tera & Corey get two in :57. Brian & Rachel get two in 1:46. Candy & George get ... muddy. It's up to Sal & Fawn. Record is 57 seconds... Go! Sal gets his pig in 20. ... and we got a new world record! 45 seconds! Nice! And they celebrate with a perculator. Now let's shower. In cold water. Insert dirty thoughts here.

Day 3: 1p - Second riding lesson. This time, Rocco is just simulating walking out on the trail while having the horses walk past poles. He calls Corey the best. But then again, it's not the ideal lesson that Rocco was looking for. The rest of the lesson comes off alright, except for Sal's constant heel mistakes. Heels down, toes up. It gets so bad that Sal's horse is taken away. In fact, Rocco just goes and takes all the horses away. As Sal gets a good cry in, the rest of the ranchers start picking up rocks.

Rocco returns to the ring to call Sal to the barn in 10 minutes. He acknowledges that he jeopardized everyone's safety, and learns to be slow to speak and quick to listen.

Now to the evals...

Brian is in the middle of the pack. George has some things to learn about posture. Sal... we already went over Sal. Rachel needs horseback lessons. Fawn is a ball of fire. Tera needs roping work. Candy's "an ornery little sucker." Corey is fantastic on horseback. Tonight's reward goes to... Corey. Of course. Tomorrow, he gets to give his chores to someone else.

Wonder what Corey won't have to do? Wonder no more...

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