-Fill in the blank: "Wives,
submit to your _______"
-According to Luke, a man who
marries a divorce woman commits what?
-How old was Methuselah when he
died?
If you could answer these and a
bunch of other questions, maybe you've got what it
takes to win.....
THE AMERICAN BIBLE CHALLENGE!!!
The Bible Belts, Devoted Divas
and the Heartland Guards are ready for the 1st of 2
semis. One of these 2 will get another $20K, while the
other 2 will say adios. The finals for $100,000 will
have a home for them, but first, tehy got one hurdle
to get over, so take your mark, get set....
LET THE CHALLENGE COMMENCE!!!!!
First off....
REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF THE O.T.
That of course, is Old
Testament. Let's test your knowledge of wives in the
Bible.
1. Which housewife made a move on a handsome servant,
then framed him for a crime he didn't commit- Pilate's
wife, Potiphar's wife, Paul's wife or David Beckham's
wife?
The Divas strike first with
Potipar's wife. Next one....
2. Which housewife lounged under a palm tree judging
people & starting wars- Deborah, Delilah, Dorcas or
Paula Abdul?
Deborah is the answer. 2 for 2,
Devoted Divas!
3. Which housewife flipped out on a road trip w/ her
husband & went after her son w/ a knife- Marge
Simpson, Zipporah, Esther or Martha?
The Guards stop the bleeding of
the Divas' streak with Zipporah. We move on to......
ANCIENT E-VITES
It's Meetup.....but biblically
challenged. First event.....
A:
Come celebrate our victory over mass slaughter!
B: Mark your Jewish calendar for 14th & 15th day of
Adar.
The Guards say it's Passover,
but it's not it. What's the rest?
C: It's a day of gladness, feasting & gift-giving
galore.
The Belts finally get in with
the Feast of Purim or Lois. Next event......
A: When: 10th Day of the 7th Month
B: We'll be sacrificing one butt, one ram and two
goats!
C: We'll put all our sins on one goat and set it
free! Yeah!
D: A day for making it right with the Lord
The Guards get it back with Day of Atonement. Last
event.....
A: 50 days after the Offering of Firstfruits
The Belts take a quick zap with
Feast of Pentecost or Festival of Weeks. New game.
Ready for it? It's called.......
PIECES BE WITH YOU
Here's why.
Everyone had a puzzle that could either be put
together as Baal, Balaam or Bill (Clinton).
So let's put these pieces
together.
1. Vetoed a request by Moabite officials
The Belts start out with Balaam.
2. Famously denied breaking one of The Ten
Commandments
The Belts get it again with Bill
Clinton.
3. Worshipped by Amorites
Baal gives the other 2 a
shutout. Nice takedown, boys. Next round is.....
KIRK'S RIGHTEOUS REMIX
Today it's.....B.B. KING OF
KINGS. The Guards will kick it off with.....
Instead of stone, what did the people build the Tower
of Babel with?
They shoot a floater with
Bricks. Nicely done. The Belts have this.....
What oddly-named land did Job live in?
We're....off to see the wizard,
the wonderful wizard of....UZ. Yes! The Divas wrap it
up with.....
According to Verse 1:1, the Book of Ecclesiastes was
written by the son of what king?
It's....David. Yes! Guess the
blues can't be so bad after all. Next is.....
YAHWEH OR NO WAY
It's 1 or the other. 1 wrong
move and it's game over for you. The Guards start it
off.
. Josiah's the shortest book of The Old Testament
No way....YES WAY!
2. The angel Gabriel told John the Baptist's father
what to name his child?-
No Way?......NO! YAHWEH. Game over, boys. The Belts
are next.
Adam had a brother.
No WAY?.....OF COURSE he
doesn't. They stop right here at 950. The Divas are
last to play.
1. The famous two-word phrase "Jesus wept" appeared in
the story of Lazarus' death.
Could it be Yahweh......YES! Can
they take the lead?.......NO. NO? Okay then. They'll
stop to prevent this from going into the final round.
Here's your next game.....
THE
CHOSEN THREE
It's the part where one person
plays a question with 3 answers.......and that's all.
The Belts have this question....
According to Proverbs 30, which three of these are
"too amazing" to understand- deer on the hills, eagle
in the sky, fireflies at night, ship on the sea, snake
on a rock or wind in the trees?
They get Eagle, but.....no-no-no
for deer & wind. The 2 correct ones were: Ship &
Snake. The Guards are next. Question, please?
Which three of these names are mentioned in more than
one book of The Bible- Joel, Habakkuk, Ezekiel,
Jeremiah, Obadiah or Malachi?
They get Jeremiah, but Ezekiel &
Malachi.....isn't it. The other 2 names were: Joel &
Obidiah. The Divas can get in with just a clean sweep.
The question is.....
Which three of these were sons born to Jacob & Leah-
Reuben, Judah, Joseph, Dan, Gad or Issachar?
Reuben, Issachar & Judah are the
choices..................................YES! In they
go to the finale. The Guards will turn in their badges
with $2500 on top of $20K. Only one of these 2 teams
will hit the finals. The subject at hand.....
THE HOLY SPIRIT
The Bible Study Showdown will
commence with the notable absence of Bobby Bones & The
Raging Idiots.
The Belts get in 60
Tick-tocks.....
9. Can the Divas get
10?....................................................no.
They only got 7, the Belts kickstart into the finals?
The Divas will take away $5000 for the trouble.
We're off next week, but in 2
weeks, the rest of the postseason. Until I see you
again.....
THOU SHALT SEE YOU NEXT
WEEK!!!!!!
For more information on the teams and
charities and to watch full episodes online, go to
gsntv.com/bible.
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