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If you don't know your Bible... you haven't got a prayer in this charity tournament.

Recaps by Pierre Kelly, GSNN

Host Jeff Foxworthy
Creator Michael Davies
EP Tom Forman
Michael Davies
Jennifer Novak
JP Williams
Packager Embassy Row, Odyssey Networks & RelativityReal for GSN Originals
Origins Raleigh Studios, Manhattan Beach, Los Angeles
Web gsntv.com/bible
Airs 9p Thurs, GSN

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Chapter 1, Verse 1 - Suburban Saints/Minnie's Food Pantry/Gospel Geezers
August 23

Jesus met a woman at the well. What was the reason behind all this?

Why was Zaccheus a tax collector?

In what country would you find Jerusalem?

If you could answer these and a bunch of other questions, maybe you got what it takes to win.... THE AMERICAN BIBLE CHALLENGE

Welcome to GSN's newest program. I am Pierre Kelly, your deacon, usher and guide to this heavily-hyped show. Throughout the years, there had been bible quizzers on religious networks, but they never had one on a non-religious network....until now. The folks behind "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" and "Chain Reaction" have a solution. With a choir, a studio audience and the host of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader," Jeff Foxworthy, the purpose is that one of these 3 teams would win big money, but not for themselves. The money they win goes towards a religious organization or charity. That may be interesting, but it's not about greed, it's about being positive and giving it back, and the only way to win is to know the knowledge of the good book, and here are 3 teams ready to be quizzed on a book that's over 3000 years old, and they are:

The Suburban Saints
Charity: City Crossroads, a nonprofit serving the Sacramento community
Team Members: Ron Milton (law enforcement); Ned Schaut (health insurance broker); Ricky Borba (media production). These rambunctious young best friends are Bible-study buddies. Ron is a Purple Heart-awarded Iraq War vet who ministers to prison inmates; Ned wants to build a skate park to minister to teens; and Ricky hopes to make Christian films and TV more mainstream.
Minnie's Food Pantry
Plano, TX
Charity: Minnieís Food Pantry, a charity that provides healthy food for families in need
Team Members: Lanett Patt (stay-at-home mom); Cheryl Jackson (President, Minnieís Food Pantry); Lynette Shofner (small-business owner). Sisters Cheryl and Lynette are pastorís kids, and Minnieís Food Pantry, which provides healthy food for families in need, is named after their mother. Sister-in-law Lanett works with Lynette on Sisters of Savings (SOS), a subscription coupon list that enables people to save and donate their extra food.
The Gospel Geezers
Charity: Samaritanís Purse, Franklin Grahamís ministry providing relief after global disasters
Team Members: Roger Tench (retired fire captain); Bill Henderson (realtor); Chris Kidd (nuclear security maintenance specialist). Each of these longtime friends has been saved for decades and has found his faith put into play in different ways. From the time Rogerís wife was diagnosed with cancer to the time when Bill helped his community during the housing crisis by selling homes for no charge.

The teams are ready. Everybody's ready. I'm ready. LET THE CHALLENGE COMMENCE!!!!

Our first round is called....


No pun intended, this is actually about Noah's Ark. It's a toss-up round and 25 points are up for grabs. Let's go.

1) What was the sign that God attested never to be flooded again?
- The answer is rainbow and somewhere over the rainbow, the Suburban Saints rain down first.

2) On what mountain did the Ark rest?
- The Suburban Saints know it's Mount Ararat, and they're yodeling along like Cliff Hangers.

3) What feathered friend was kicked out of the Ark never to return?
- Dove is the answer, and for the Suburban Saints, that was what it sounded like when doves cry tears of joy.

The Saints are off to a good start with 75. Not to worry, there's plenty of game left. In the meantime, the choir will sing for you while you watch these adverts, then after that, we head into the next round which is....


What if Facebook went to the Bible? We find out in this 25-point quizzer.

- Oh look, The burning bush wants to be your friend, and that belongs to Moses and the Gospel Geezers get on the board.
- Someone's on a journey to Mount Moriah, not the street in Memphis, the biblical mountain and Minnie's Food Pantry know it's Abraham. Good work!
- There's one status update on the 450 prophets of Baal, and like the song said, these are the days of Elijah. 2 in a row for the pantry!
- Finally, someone spends too much money on the feast. It's not Kim Kardashian. It's actually Judas. (sorry, Lady Gaga.)

The saints close out the round and as we get a score check, it's 100 for the burbs, 50 for the pantry and 25 for the geezers.

As the choir sings from the intermission, it's a 2-player game we like to call....


Like the old YDKJ Dis or Dat question, 2 choices and one is correct. Today, you have to pick the statements that relate to....

- Word of the Lord
- Lord of the Rings

Got that? The Geezers have Chris & Roger and this statement.....

- "The journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... One that we all must take."

That's "Lord Of the Rings" and the Geezers score. It was Gandalf who said it. The pantry are down to 2 and this quote for their eyes only......

- "Then they made two more gold rings and attached them to the bottom of the shoulder pieces on the front of the ephod, close to the seam just above the waistband of the ephod. (Exodus 39:20 NIV)"

That would be the word of the Lord. The pantry scores again! The Saints have this....

- "Even darkness must pass, A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those are the stories that stay with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why."

Now if I were you, I'd go with Lord of the Rings....and they're right. Boy they read my mind. Not only that, all 3 know more about rings than Sonic The Hedgehog. Moving on to....


We get a video of a girl talking about Jonah and the Whale and we get a quiz about it. So......

1) What was Jonah doing before the storm went in?
- The geezers wake up with sleeping and is correct.

2) In Jonah 3:5, what were the people doing after Jonah got spit out?
- In a hurry, the saints answer with fasting. Correct answer. That leaves the pantry with this.....

3) What did Jonah wrap around his head?
- They go with God's arms. Alas, that would be a headlock in wrestling. The answer is: seaweed. A check of the scores say the pantry has 100, the saints with 155 and the geezers with 125. So as the choir sings to break, we want you to know this next round is an elimination round. It's called....


All they have to do is give 3 correct answers out of 6. Lowest score....goes home. Dun dun dun, my friends. The saints want to know the 3 things left out at the last supper. iPod, watch and a game boy are not one of them. They are:

Olive oil

They get towel and table, but is olive oil correct? Nope. Correct answer: swords. So they end up with 355 points.

The pantry go next and they want to know the physical attributes of His according to the old testament.

Eyes of God
Arm of God
Chin of God
Rib of God
Foot of God
Finger of God

They got eyes and arm, but is finger correct? They......got the points and they're in the lead with 400.

Last chance for the geezers to come back. All they have to do is name the 3 animals that are okay to eat according to biblical dietary laws. Just so you know, it doesn't involve the fast food menu at McDonalds. They are:

Great owl
Wild goat

Ox and Wild Goat are good, but can Rabbit hop into the finale? Silly rabbit, it'sÖ.....wrong. The answer: grasshopper, which reminds you of the old show "Kung Fu." And just like that, the Gospel Geezers are kicked out, but not before they leave with $2500.


Time for the final bible study showdown. Each team will have 1 topic and have as much time to study. Tonight's category.....


And off they go! The choir sings one last time with the notable absence of Stephen Rippy and the Castleville Kings. Time to show us what you know! The pantry goes first and after a minute, they get.....4. So the saints must get 4 to force a tiebreaker or 5 to win it all. They get........2. Minnie's food pantry stock up a win! As for the saints, they head back to the suburbs with 5K in their charitable pockets.

Another TABC in the books and until then this Pierre Kelly saying....


For more information on the teams and charities and to watch full episodes online, go to gsntv.com/bible.