Much Calmer Than All This!
Bonds will be forged... Will
will be tested... Patience will be strained... and foreign languages
will be screwed up beyond repair. In a moment, eleven two-man teams will
jet out around the world for a shot at a million dollars! Who'll come up
short? Who'll go the distance?
Time to begin this, the 13th
running of the Amazing Race!
As we speak, classic cars
are transporting the teams to the starting line, and speaking of which,
here are the teams that will be the subject of the next few weeks. (C-Note: in grand and glorious Wolvie
tradition, we've given them cute nicknames as well)...
Toni & Dallas (Team
My Mom's Kid): a mother-son team from Northern California. She's a
single mom. He's her son.
Nick & Starr (The Wonder Not-Twins): brother-sister team from New
York and Texas. They both know what they want... and usually get it.
Ken & Tina (The Estranged Spouses): separated spouses from Tampa.
He played seven years in the NFL. He's basically on a race to save his
Aja & Ty (The Booty Callers): they've been dating long distance
for a while now. They see their distance as strength, and they don't
take their time together for granted.
Marisa & Brooke (The Southern Belles): friends from South
Carolina. They say they're very classy, into fashion, and like baking
Andrew & Dan (Team Kappa Epsilon Gamma): frat boys from Phoenix.
Three words... Parties... Girls... Booze.
Anthony & Stephanie (Hollywood Swingers): this LA couple has been
dating four years. Stephanie's looking for a ring. Anthony's... still
not too sure about that.
Anita & Arthur (Hippie Beekeepers): married apiarists from
Oregon. They say they're strong and they have the ability to get it
Kelly & Christy (The Divorced Women's Club): recently divorced
friends from Texas. They think that their failed marriages give them the
strength to do whatever they put their minds to.
Terence & Sarah (Sex & The City): He's a free-spirit.
She's a workaholic.
Mark & Bill (Comic Book Geeks): these comic-book readin', t-shirt
wearin', Guitar Heroin' geeks wear the term like a badge of honor.
Because you haven't seen
this in a while, here's a refresher of the rules, some of which may OR
may not come into play.
These will be the bulk of the Race. Teams
must find Route Markers (red-and-yellow flags) which will
give them info to the NEXT Route Marker. Eventually, this
will lead them to a PIT STOP where they
must rest for 12 hours...and, for the most part, the team
that arrives last will be eliminated. These have to be
followed to the letter, lest teams be incurred a penalty for
A choice between two different tasks, each
with its own pros and cons. Both team members must decide to
do one of the tasks. If they cannot do their chosen task,
they MUST do the other. One task MUST be completed before
the next ROUTE INFO is handed out.
Only one team member does this task. They're
given a SMALL clue as to what's involved, but they cannot
read the details until they decide which one will do it.
No one member of a team may do more than
six ROAD BLOCKs during the whole Race.
There is only one FAST FORWARD in the
entire Race. If the team chooses to perform it and do so,
they can go straight to the PIT STOP and
bypass all other tasks. A team can only use one FAST FORWARD
during the entire Race, so they have to decide when it's
best to utilize it.
On each leg of the Race (or so
says the official site), a YIELD is placed. A team may use
this to make another team stop for a pre-determined amount
of time (denoted by an hourglass) before they can continue.
Any team can be YIELDed any number of times, but a team may
only utilize a YIELD once during the course of the Race.
A team who finishes last in a
non-elimination leg must complete a SPEED BUMP, one
additional task during the next leg. That task must be
completed before moving on. And you don’t know when it’s
is found at the end of a Detour. Teams can use the U-TURN to
slow down the progress of another team by having them
perform the Detour task that they didn't perform. Teams can
U-TURN only once in the entire Race, AND there are only
three of them along the course, so they must decide whether
or not it is in their best interests to use it.
STARTING LINE –
Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, Los Angeles, USA
The 11 teams are being driven in classic cars to a place of
Olympic proportions, where the Games have been held TWICE.
When Phil gives the signal, they will race to their bags, pick
up their first clue, and be on their way. There are 11 legs in
the 13th Race, eight of which are elimination stops. Whoever
arrives at the Pit Stop last at one of these will be sent home.
The players will receive cash at the beginning of each leg to
cover expenses except for tickets which are already paid for
(and no upgrading to business class).
And as always, the first team to cross the finish line will win
ONE... MILLION... DOLLARS.
I think I’ll turn this over to Phil now.
“The world is waiting for you.
And a quick jog up the stairs to the waiting bags and Benzes...
and Amazing Race 13 is officially ON!
FLY TO SALVADOR, BRAZIL!
Take one of the marked cars and drive
yourself to LAX to hop a flight to Brazil. You may only
travel on one of two flights: American 252 or United 843.
Retrieve your tickets at the marked counters.
Upon landing, proceed by taxi to O Rei Do Pernil. There you
will find your next clue.
And Nick & Starr are
the first to peel out. Terence & Sarah, in second, are heading
on side routes, having been through LA traffic once or twice
before. Some of the teams are on 110 South. Anita & Arthur got a
bit of a slow start, but they're finally on their way.
And the carpool
lane... useful. Aja & Ty hop into first and are first to the
Nick & Starr are
hoping to be adopted by "mom and dad" (Ken & Tina).
Now it's a race to
the American counter. The MARKED American counter. (C-Note: Now
I've been to the AA counter at LAX... it's not that hard to
On the American Airlines flight (first to leave)
1) Ken & Tina
2) Mark & Bill
3) Terence & Sarah
4) Nick & Starr
5) Aja & Ty
6) Kelly & Christy
This flight is due to arrive three hours before the other one.
And that flight is oversold. Which means it's time to race to
the United counter.
Meanwhile, Nick &
Starr team up with Ken & Tina in a "loose alliance".
On the United Airlines flight (second to leave)
1) Toni & Dallas
2) Andrew & Dan
3) Anita & Arthur
4) Marisa & Brooke
5) Anthony & Stephanie
All of the teams are on their way.
American: LAX - Rio de Janeiro - Salvador (delayed!)
United: LAX - Sao Paulo - Salvador
Even with the delay, the American flight is the first in
Salvador. After a few teams forget how to say "Quickly!" in
Portuguese, Mark & Bill are the first team to find...
BECOME A BARISTA, OLD SCHOOL STYLE!
Choose one local vending cart and wheel
it through the streets of Salvador to Praça da Sé. Deliver
your cart to Indio, who will hand you your next clue.
And Mark & Bill
can't get the thing started without knocking over a few snacks.
The rest of the American crew turn up to "drive the worst
shopping cart in the world".
They soon deliver
their goodies to a funicular, where... something's happening,
Terence & Sarah are
the first to reach Indio with all of their snacks intact, so
they get this...
TRAVEL BY TAXI TO 19 BATALHAO DE
CAZADORES, a military base where you will sleep overnight
under mosquito nets.
Once there, you will also have to sign
in to receive one of three departure times: 9a, 9:30a, and
9:45a. First come, first served!
Nick & Starr are in
front of Kenny & Tina... so much for the loose alliance.
Terence & Sarah are
first at the base, and they pick up the 9a departure time.
second flight arrives on time, and the five teams head to the
sandwich shop, and then to Indio.
9a: Terence & Sarah, Nick & Starr, Mark & Bill, Ken & Tina
9:30a: Aja & Ty, Kelly & Christy, Andrew & Dan
9:45a: Anita & Arthur, Marisa & Brooke, Toni & Dallas, Anthony &
Overnight, the teams finally get some rest. Starr thinks Dallas
is the most attractive guy on the Race. Meanwhile, Sarah is
conversing with the other teams, much to Terence's dismay.
The next morning
comes and with it, this clue...
TAKE A TAXI TO PELOURINHO!
Pelourinho is the historic center of
Salvador. Once there, you will have to locate a church that
houses your next clue.
Terence & Sarah's
cab are the first to head to Pelourinho. Meanwhile, Ken
breaks out his secret weapon... a whistle. Sarah thinks that
this is a popularity contest, but Terence thinks that, hey, he
doesn't care whether or not people like him.
But they are the first to
the church (on time, no less). Mark & Bill are second. But can they find
the clue? Ah, there it is.
DETOUR - HARD
WAY UP or SOFT WAY DOWN?
HARD WAY UP: Make your way to Escadaria
do Paso and make a spiritual pledge by climbing the entire
stone staircase on your hands and knees. Then answer the
mystery question posed by the samba drum player. If they
answer it correctly, they will be handed their next clue. If
they are wrong, they'll have to walk round the streets to
the bottom and start again.
WAY DOWN: Make your way to Elevador Lacerda and climb down a
precarious cargo net 240 feet above the street. Only three
teams may be on the cargo net at any one time. First come,
first served. Used the marked doors to access the service
Nick & Starr choose
the soft way down, an experience they call "creepy." "Mom & Dad"
are next, though Tina is scared of heights. Mark & Bill are
third down the cargo net, so the rest of the teams are going to
have to wait it out.
Nick & Starr make it down
first and are first to hear these magic words... "Make your way to the
MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE PIT STOP
Make your way to Porte Sao
Marcello, a floating battlement and the Pit Stop for this
leg of the Race.
WARNING: The last team to check in
will be eliminated!
Here on out, it's a
good old fashioned foot race. Foot and boat, anyway.
Back at the net,
Terence & Sarah pass the breaking Mark & Bill.
Nick & Starr meet Phil and a local club
footballer, where they hear another set of magic words...
"Nick & Starr... you're team number ONE!" As
the winners of this leg of the Race, they've won a trip to Belize. Very
nice. They think their relationship and the push & pull will turn into
power in this Race.
Ken & Tina are not too far behind for second place lock-ins.
The second set of travelers find the church
at Pelourinho. Andrew & Dan head to the stairs. And it seems like
they're the only ones there. The mystery question: how many steps have
you climbed? Correct answer: ... not 40. Try again.
Terence & Sarah are team #3. Mark & Bill are
at #4. Kelly & Christy are #5. Toni & Dallas... sixth.
The frat boys are finally getting to count
the steps. Correct answer: 53.
The Hippies finally finish the climb down.
Now it's a matter of who'll get to see "Philski" first... It's Andrew &
Dan (seventh) and Aja & Ty (eighth). Anthony & Stephanie are ninth,
while Marisa & Brooke are tenth...
... which just leaves the hippies. Anita &
Arthur are the last team to arrive. They gave it all they had, and
that's the most important thing... Most important thing to Arthur...
just doing this. Unfortunately, they can do this no longer.
After Leg 1: USA to Brazil
1) Nick & Starr - trip to Belize
2) Ken & Tina
3) Terence & Sarah
4) Mark & Bill
5) Kelly & Christy
6) Toni & Dallas
7) Andrew & Dan
8) Aja & Ty
9) Anthony & Stephanie
10) Marisa & Brooke
ELIMINATED) Anita & Arthur