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Sixteen celebrities are chosen by the most powerful name in
real estate to play out the ultimate job interview for
charity.
Recaps by Eric Pierce, GSNN
FACT FILE:
Host: Donald Trump
VO: Joe Cipriano
Creator: Mark Burnett
EP: Mark Burnett, Donald J. Trump, Jay Bienstock
Packager: Trump Entertainment LLC, Mark Burnett
Productions
Origin: Trump Tower, New York City
Website:
nbc.com/the-celebrity-apprentice
Airs: Sundays at 9p ET on NBC
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Episode 1
March 1
Welcome to the Celebrity Apprentice! This season The
Donald has taken a cue from another NBC stalwart, The Biggest Loser,” and bloat
his episodes to a solid 2 hours. Exciting isn’t it?
That said, we have 16 celebrities all trying to avoid the most heinous of
reality catchphrases (Especially considering the current economy).
The teams have been split into men vs. women and here are your celebrities:
The Women
Melissa Rivers (Fashion and gossip host)
Joan Rivers (Comedienne and Plastic Surgery aficionado)
Claudia Jordan (Former Barker Beauty and Deal or No Deal briefcase #1)
Annie Duke (Professional Poker Player)
Brande Roderick (Playboy Hottie)
Khloe Kardashian (E! Reality Star and sister to a sex tape vixen)
Tionne T-Boz Watkins (The T of TLC)
Natalie Gulbis (Professional golfer not named Annika)
The Men
Dennis Rodman (NBA Bad boy and walking pin cushion)
Clint Black (Country star with a penchant for black)
Andrew Dice Clay (Raucous Comedian and loud mouth)
Herschel Walker (Retired football legend)
Tom Green (Raunchy, uni-testicled comedian)
Scott Hamilton (Height Challenged figure skating champion)
Jesse James (Vehicle Pimper, not western outlaw)
Brian McKnight (Soul singer not available on the dollar menu)
The teams are given their first tasks rather quickly. Choose a project manager
and select a team name.
The men move quickly, throwing about names at random until one sticks: KOTU. Is
this Survivor? Wrong network. KOTU apparently stands for Kings of the Universe.
With their second decision they put Herschel Walker in charge as PM for the
first task. Now some team members such as Andrew Dice Clay feel like these
decisions are being shoved down their throats, but at this point in the game it
is way too early to ruffle feathers. Thus, swallowing is probably the better
decision.
The women work together a little better and with some prodding from Annie Duke
they settle on a name with meaning. The women dub themselves Athena and then in
a snap judgment select Joan Rivers as their Project Manager. The women are
moving fast and so will we.
Task 1: Bake cupcakes and sell them out of a Cupcake Truck for Charity. The team
that brings in the most money wins.
Pretty easy stuff. The men split up with half the team heading to the executive
cupcake kitchen while Jesse James gets to work on his niche, pimping out the
cupcake Truck.
The women sit down and try to decide how much money it will take to win and they
settle on about 20-30K dollars. Annie Duke speaks up again (get used to this)
and says that she can bring in 15K by herself easy. She asks is she can rely on
the rest of the team to bring in at least another 5K and Khloe Kardashian speaks
up saying that she doesn’t like being talked down to. Oh, I’m sorry, she spoke
up to the confessional camera, not Annie. You know how those reality stars do
it.
In the baking stage of this mission there were a few interesting moments. First
and foremost, in case you didn’t know, Andrew Dice Clay does not bake! He steps
aside and leaves the load on Tom Green, Scott Hamilton and the like. Apparently
Dice thinks he can attract more people by going on Sirius Satellite Radio (has
he checked out their stock price lately?)
Both teams have settled on doing a standard Vanilla and standard Chocolate
cupcake. They figure that there is no reason to get fancy with it to ensure that
everyone has something they like that they can buy.
In the Men’s kitchen the Chocolate cupcakes come out tasting like crap.
Apparently someone forgot to put in sugar. Mmm… bitter cupcakes. They brush the
cupcakes with syrup hoping that they will absorb some of the syrup and the
flavor improves… somewhat.
In the Women’s kitchen, Annie Duke freaks out (OCD, anybody) and turns into the
kitchen commando. In her defense, no one was taking charge in Joan’s absence and
they did get a lot of work done. Regardless, the women on Annie’s team don’t
like being bossed around.
This goes for when Natalie’s chocolate cupcake fail to rise properly and Annie
gets them in gear making a fresh batch and when Annie takes the time to teach
the reinforcement exactly how to ice the cupcakes (because icing cupcakes is a
dangerous job. Have you seen Ace of Cakes, it’s more thrilling than Ice Road
Truckers!)
The women eventually solve their chocolate cupcake problem by filling the divots
in with a chocolate ganache. This is why when you by a cupcake you should always
check its “cupcake-fax” history report.
Time to sell!
The teams hit the streets and clearly have no problem selling. They’re each
selling cupcake and 5, 10, 20 dollars a pop. And then the heavy hitters come in.
The women positioned themselves outside the Playboy building and Brande secured
ad big check from the Hef courtesy of a Playboy Bunny in full regalia. In
addition, all the workers of the building came out for a dessert breaks.
The men have money coming in from a few close friends, but the majority of their
money is coming from hustling on the street corners. The Truck looks great and
they are making a scene, but not everyone is chipping in. Dennis Rodman in
particular seems set against doing anything that requires him standing on two
feet. He sits in the truck claiming that if he comes out people will only stop
to take pictures not to buy cupcakes. (Yes, Dennis, because New Yorkers can’t
find someone who dresses as crazy as you on every street corner…)
As the hours wind down, Annie Duke is raking in the cash from all of her poker
buddies. She ahs easily made good on her 15K agreement. Tom Green meanwhile is
becoming slightly worried as his secured donation from Donny Deutsch still ahs
not been delivered.
Ring!!!
The Donald calls both project managers and informs them to send their best
cupcake to Crumb bakery for judging. The winning cupcakes will be worth 15K
dollars. Quite the game changer indeed.
Dice takes a Vanilla cupcake and Melissa takes a Chocolate ganache to the taste
test. The results will be revealed back at the board room. We enter the last
seconds of selling and the women have hit their last trays of cupcakes. Brande
has two final donors show up who offer to buy the truck out. Annie takes a step
back saying that they can only have a few and that she needs to know how much
they are paying. Brande in annoyed that Annie has stepped into her deal, but in
the end, the last tray of cupcake is sold for 9K dollars
The men are selling out as well and with only 2 minutes to spare Tom’s donation
from Donny Deutsch (as well as one from Tony Hawk) arrives. The men have sold
out and all that remains are the results.
Back at the boardroom we are given the results.
The women won the taste test by a landslide (looks like the fallen cupcakes were
a blessing in disguise). They get the 15K bonus. And then there are the final
totals.
KOTU: $49,449
ATHENA: $61,257
The women have won and will head back to the suite to watch the boardroom. The
men will now have to face The Donald.
As you might expect from celebrities, they were a lot of loudmouths but not that
much was said. Dice and Dennis become the obvious targets with Herschel also
coming under fire. They felt that Herschel was not an effective leader and
Herschel feels that Dice and Dennis were unmanageable.
The one thing that you do need to know is that Dice at one point during the
boardroom hit the Red button. He quit stating that if he can’t do things his way
that he doesn’t want to do it at all.
Well that, along with the fact that Dennis didn’t retract from the task and
Herschel was actually the biggest earner for the team, led to the Dice man’s
demise
Andrew, You’re fired!
And with that the new Celebrity season is off with a bang. More Donald next
week.To see this episode in its
entirety, visit the official website at
www.nbc.com/the-celebrity-apprentice.
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