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Sixteen models are going head to head, pose to pose, and brain to brain for the chance at $100,000 and the coveted title of America's Most Smartest Model. Recaps by Chico Alexander, GSNN |
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S-M-R-T "Models. They're sexy. They're stylish. And if conventional wisdom holds true, they're all dumber than a box of rocks." But is that true? After all, the folks on that other show that searches for models aren't really that smart, are they? Or maybe the pretty girls on Deal or No Deal would rather find themselves on Jeopardy!. While that's ultimately for you to decide, VH1 has decided to take conventional wisdom to school in their newest reality show challenge.... looking for America's Most Smartest Model. As if the title wasn't a dead giveaway, no, this isn't being taken THAT seriously. Or maybe it is. Consider the competition and the stakes... both of which are very real. The CV's of the hosts... Mary Alice Stephenson is a celebrity stylist and executive director & fashion consultant. Ben Stein is your classic Renaissance man, author, actor, comedian, lawyer, economist, and game show host. But these guys probably remember one word of Ben's acumen... "Bueller?" Here's the skinny... the anorexic, if you will... We're looking for the perfect combination of beauty and brains. The winner gets $100,000 and their own ad campaign for VO5 Extreme Style (product placement, don't you love it). And the bad news? Two of them are going home TONIGHT. That said, let's meet the bimbos and the himbos... Andre Birleanu;
worked with DKNY; thinks him a bad boy; Russian; speaks five languages Now, three of them are going down the runway... and two are going home. Mandy Lynn, Slavco, and Jamie are called down. Mary Alice is faced with two lingerie models... and one ... Slavco. Ben thinks that Mandy Lynn is smart to make websites all by herself. Mary Alice sends her back (unwillingly), and sends Slavco and Jamie home. First challenge requires a pocket-sized dictionary... It's a good old-fashioned spelling bee. Dictionary's outside your door. Study it. Andre is sleeping with two midgets and Pinocchio. Oh, and did we mention that the bathroom is locked? And the code is "the year Christopher Columbus discovered America?" Okay, I call shenanigans. Christopher Columbus didn't discover America; Amerigo Vespucci did. In any event, the correct answer: 1492. The other bathroom's code? "the year America declared its independence" (1776). And the code to the fridge: "the year America celebrated its Bicentennial x 100" (197600). Blonde Rachel's strategy: wait for someone else to figure it out. Out in the back, the models get to know each other in the hot tub. All except for Mandy Lynn and Brett, who head off to do some studying. As for Pickel, after finding out that both Rach(a)els are single... "Rachel Myers just wants to get laid. That's all it comes down to." After finding out that Blonde Rachel really wants to act, Andre points that actors should be actors and models should be models, and neither the twain shall meet. He's here for one reason: to prove that models aren't stupid. Pickel thinks he's overdoing it a bit. They're two peas in a pod. Rebuttal from the Russian? "15 Americans against one Soviet. It's gonna be interesting." I'm guessing Andre didn't get the memo about the Cold War being over a long freaking time ago. Morning comes, and it's time to study for the bee. Except for Gaston, who's just "taking it easy". Angela is going to join shortly, but first she is going to feel objected by Gaston's "nice heinie compliment". Blonde Rachel... not good at the spelling. Mandy Lynn wants to make a good impression, but all she brought with her are what Erika calls "hoochie" clothes. Edge Challenge: Spelling Bee Every challenge in the house will be bifurcated.... split into two parts? First part is called the "Edge" Challenge. Winner will get an edge for the final part, the "Callback" Challenge. Winner of that challenge will get an automatic callback to the next round. Losers face elimination... or PURGING... We are playing Scripps Howard rules in this spelling bee. Losers are eliminated spot on until there are two left. Then it's a sudden death battle to the end. These are beauty-and-fashion related worth. The first round of words are dreadfully easy... Now it's time to get serious. Andre is eliminated on "retardant" (R-E-T-A-R-D-E-N-T). "What the hell. I'm Russian. I can't spell (^_^)." Sure you can. It's S-(^_^)-(^_^)-T! Gaston gets the word NINCOMPOOP... and is eliminated (N-I-N-C-A-M-B-O-O-B). Fickel is eliminated on "electrolysis" (E-L-E-C-T-R-O-L-I-S-Y-S). Victoria, who "overstudied", misses "emaciated" (A-M-A-C-I-D-A-T-E-D). Erika misses LaCroix. Mandy Lynn misses Gaultier. Brett misses Isaac Mizrahi. Angela stumbles over Paco Rabanne. Aussie Rachael misses Von Furstenburg. Blonde Rachel misses Tommy Hilfiger. VJ misses Chiffon. Lisa misses Louis Vuitton, leaving Jesse and Daniel. Daniel... gets phosphorescence. Jesse gets psoriasis. Daniel gets variegated and Bacchanalian. Jesse... misses Dionysian. Daniel wins the edge for the Callback Challenge... AND now everyone respects his game. The edge... "you'll be asked to name as many SPECIES of DINOSAURS as you can. Good luck!" Gaston, meanwhile, practices his game... on the ladies.... Yeah, good luck with that. Callback Challenge: Walk-and-Talk. First callback challenge.. A fashion show on the runway. Some have no experience on the runway. That's okay, because we have Crista Klayman of LA Models to help. Callback begins in an hour! And, like many fashion shows, this one begins with a mad dash to the racks. Erika's a little big "regimented". Andre has the runway thing down... so he says... Mandy Lynn has... well, there's such a thing as being "too sexy". Crista suggests acting like someone hurt her dog. That did it. Now the models will attempt to walk and (not chew gum, but) list as many items from a category as possible. Remember, Daniel will have to name as many dinosaurs as possible. Helping Ben and Mary Alice judge are Olga Iriano (photo & bookings director for Harper's Bazaar) and Luke Storey (celebrity stylist). VJ: names of US states. He gets nine, but Seattle, Memphis, and Indianapolis are not states. As for his walk, it's very professional. Victoria: cities outside the US. She gets five, four of which are in Italy. She wasn't really walking. She was strolling. The dress wasn't that flattering either. Gaston: things that smell bad. We'll give him "dirty penis" for eight. As for the walk... he just looks like he doesn't care. Mandy Lynn: things that are round. She says the same four things four times. The experts don't see her doing fashion modeling. They see her as... a porn star. ... yeah. If she survives tonight, there will be changes. Blonde Rachel: types of trees. I think an umbrella tree counts. And she did her walk well. Ben only counted three different types of tree. And yes, an umbrella tree (Schefflera actinophylla) counts. Thanks, graphic guys! Jesse: things that are soft. He may need to lose weight. Lisa: names of islands. Olga didn't like her walk. Erika: world leaders, dead or alive. She is the world's "tiniest Clydesdale." Angela: names of rivers. Mary Alice compares her to Diana Ross in "Mahogany". And she needs a bra Aussie Rachael: types of drugs. She's got a lot of potential. Brett: elements on the periodic table. He got five, but metal is not an element. He is confident, though. He's one to watch. Daniel: species of dinosaurs. He got quite a few. The suit and the hair, though, says "Sopranos". He needs more attitude and more style. The walk sucked. Pickel: types of flowers. He knows four flowers... he plays the Mandy Lynn card. And he even made up one. Amethapeel (Bullplopera stupidus... not true). Acting might be a better choice for him... because he's got the whole BS thing down. Andre: things in the sky. He gets five. He looks like a boxer. The walk though needs work. And now, the callback. It goes to... Brett. Everyone else is now in danger of going home. Jesse thinks, "Damn, the black guy always dies first!" Erika, meanwhile, thinks Mandy Lynn is going home tonight. Andre is seen as a threat. Mandy Lynn hits the bathroom in search of something a little more natural. Will it work? Elimination Jesse looks great, but needs to slim down. He's not going home tonight. In danger of elimination: Victoria, Gaston, and Mandy Lynn. Gaston acted like he didn't care. Mandy Lynn is the complete opposite of what they're looking for, but she's totally natural tonight. Victoria is very surprised to be down here. BUT she was the first one out of the spelling bee and her runway walk was atrocious. "Gaston and Victoria, like the leg bones of a cetacean mammal... you are now vestigial." Translation: you guys are gone. Mandy Lynn was saved last night because of Ben. But tonight, it was Mary Alice who saved her. She sees potential. Mary Alice is making her her pet project. Ben likes her spirit, her energy... Andre: "That's BS. He likes her breasts." And so the journey begins as 12 models are now one step closer to being "America's Most Smartest Model." See you next time. |
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