My step-grandfather died earlier in the month. We didn't share the game show love, but you'd never find two more more vocal sports fans in the greater Seattle area. I mention this because he taught me lots about sports, and those lessons hold true for the currently running "Dancing With the Stars."

First mention goes to Tom Bergeron. If ABC has any sense at all, they would sign him to a non-compete contract and put him in a weekly show on the network from here until he can host no more. He is that good. Whether it's interviewing the contestants, recapping the scores or firing off a quick joke before the break, everything about him is a pleasure to watch.

Now that we're done with the best, we go to the worst. One of the things grampa taught me was that even if you're not very good at the sport, at least make an effort. You may not win the rebounding title or sink a free throw to win the state championship, but you'll get the respect of the coach. (T-Note: I was very well respected by my junior high school basketball coach.)

Last week, "P" Miller (second T-Note: I thought he was a famous rap star, but apparently he can't afford a full first name) turned out what was without a doubt the worst performance that the show had ever seen. I don't know whether it was the strain of practice, inability to master the steps, or what, but it was just bad. Not only did he fail to perform, he didn't win over the judges either: scoring a whopping 8 out of 30 points that week, and sending him on the next bus home. Perhaps he'll use that time to figure out a way to can his agent.

Why be there? Yeah, I know, his son begged out from a basketball injury and he was a last minute replacement, but even so. If you're going to show up, at least put in the time and effort to make it look like you know what the blue hell you're doing. Surely there was some alternate who would gladly soft shoe for scale in the contest. If not, just have the first week as a pre-season exhibition; no one would be eliminated, and the audience would get to know the teams. Anything but turning in a flat, uninspired performance that gave away all accumulated street cred over the course of two minutes.

On the upside, the elimination of P gives me that much more time to look at the lovely legs of Stacy Keibler, so I can at least end on a positive note. If you'll excuse me...

Normally, Travis would have you e-mail him at traviseberle@gmail.com, but he's in the middle of 'me' time. Do not disturb.