Star Struck - February 1
My step-grandfather died earlier in the month. We didn't
share the game show love, but you'd never find two more
more vocal sports fans in the greater Seattle area. I
mention this because he taught me lots about sports, and
those lessons hold true for the currently running
"Dancing With the Stars."
First mention goes to Tom Bergeron. If ABC has any sense
at all, they would sign him to a non-compete contract
and put him in a weekly show on the network from here
until he can host no more. He is that good. Whether it's
interviewing the contestants, recapping the scores or
firing off a quick joke before the break, everything
about him is a pleasure to watch.
Now that we're done with the best, we go to the worst.
One of the things grampa taught me was that even if
you're not very good at the sport, at least make an
effort. You may not win the rebounding title or sink a
free throw to win the state championship, but you'll get
the respect of the coach. (T-Note: I was very well
respected by my junior high school basketball coach.)
Last week, "P" Miller (second T-Note: I thought he was a
famous rap star, but apparently he can't afford a full
first name) turned out what was without a doubt the
worst performance that the show had ever seen. I don't
know whether it was the strain of practice, inability to
master the steps, or what, but it was just bad. Not only
did he fail to perform, he didn't win over the judges
either: scoring a whopping 8 out of 30 points that week,
and sending him on the next bus home. Perhaps he'll use
that time to figure out a way to can his agent.
Why be there? Yeah, I know, his son begged out from a
basketball injury and he was a last minute replacement,
but even so. If you're going to show up, at least put in
the time and effort to make it look like you know what
the blue hell you're doing. Surely there was some
alternate who would gladly soft shoe for scale in the
contest. If not, just have the first week as a
pre-season exhibition; no one would be eliminated, and
the audience would get to know the teams. Anything but
turning in a flat, uninspired performance that gave away
all accumulated street cred over the course of two
On the upside, the elimination of P gives me that much
more time to look at the lovely legs of Stacy Keibler,
so I can at least end on a positive note. If you'll
Normally, Travis would have you e-mail him at
email@example.com, but he's in the middle of 'me'
time. Do not disturb.