Chico: And it comes in a can. Welcome back.
Gordon: We are now down to the BIG FINISH.
Chico: Which is even bigger than usual, because we have to pick up the slack from the first segment newswise. That said...
Gordon: start us off with the JUMBO SIZED finish.
Chico: First up: Amazing Race. Charla and Mirna, one of the most (insert
adjective here) teams this year, iced... Your thoughts?
Gordon: Cute, cuddly, underdogs, lots of spirit, not as bright as the
remaining teams.
Chico: Can't help but love them, can you?
Gordon: I love them like I love a cute beagle, but sometimes the beagle runs his head against a tree and has to be sent away to have their head examined.
Chico: And thus today's elimination. Also iced, Marshall and Lance, who have to have their knees iced, bringing us TO this week's Big Board... Subject: "Chico and Gordon's Most Painful Eliminations". Marshall and Lance, of course, the knees...
Gordon: We talking painful as in physical - or also as in mental, or we didn't see this one coming?
Chico: Any one of the three.
Gordon: Then I have to talk about my two favorite people - HEATHER and EVE.
Chico: That was painful. Eliminated by a taxicab.
Gordon: The most painful in AR history, though, had to come in the first
season. The poor mother/daughter team Nancy and Emily that gave up - only to know that all they had to do was to finish the task and they would have knocked out Team Guido.
Chico: Then comes any Idol elimination in which Gordon has to throw in the two words: "Chaos Theory"
Gordon: Ah yes, the Chaos Theory - if you think you are safe, you aren't -
and the eliminations got so painful that even Elton John gave us his 2 cents
worth.
Chico: Next: Robby Roseman, who is the king of futility, having answered his $100 question on Millionaire... wrong.
Gordon: As it's been known as llamaing out. The most painful quiz elimination has to be Dan Avila, who blew a 2 million dollar question, then a 1 million dollar question. Is it ...tuna?
Chico: No, it's CHOCOLATE! Another painful elimination came this week...
Will's ouster on a tiebreaker in Big Brother... I personally don't buy the whole "I flipped a coin in my head" defense Adria put up.
Gordon: no - Adria is smart - but she is backstabbing way too soon - and that will either cost her or Natalie this week. They could have sacrificed a
Marvin or a Cowboy this week - and that decision may come back to haunt her.
Chico: Like Will said, "Sooner than later."
Gordon: Yep.
Chico: Probably one of the best lines in BB history.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: Onto another elimination: Stump the Schwab this week had its final,
and the best man came out on top in Curt Spear...
Gordon: A worthy champion - but not worthy enough as he fails to win a job with the Schwab.
Chico: The only person to knock out the Schwab and he goes all the way only to fall short at the end. I think the best person won, really.
Gordon: I think so too.
Chico: You think ESPN will try to give away another job at the research
department? I would be surprised if they did, really.
Gordon: Why not? Its a decent job - but they may want to look for younger
-like 'The Assistant' type of younger demo.
Chico: Oh man.. That show's bordering on insanity, right now. Of course, it
help if Andy Dick's involved.
Gordon: I don't like the show, as I think it goes past exploitation. This
goes back to me having an inherent hate of shows that deceive the people of not knowing what they got themselves into.
Chico: Did I mention "insane?" Because if I didn't, I'll go ahead and say it
again.
Gordon: Insane - and (almost forming a complete anagram) asinine.
Chico: Correct two times. Jeopardy's in a bit of a downswing right now. No
surprise, right? Reruns + no Jennings..
Gordon: Not concerned. Just watch the ratings in September - especially if
Jennings picks up where he left off.
Chico: Yeah, but again, no surprise, really.
Gordon: nope
Chico: On the radar here, Survivor Vanuatu: Islands of Fire... 18 castoffs,
two sexes... Can the women repeat?
Gordon: Probably. Lets see what other twists they have up their sleeve.
Apprentice - also 18 people, what's up with that?
Chico: All I'm seeing is two extra episodes right now. But I doubt that's the
end of it.
Gordon: Agreed - I hope the Donald has something up his sleeve
Chico: Me too.. Or else, the gloves'll be off. Speaking of which, Contender
vs. Champ... Who's going to win this one?
Gordon: Contender. Champ already look like a tomato can, as there are many holes in it.
Chico: You can tell is just Fox mismanagement at its worst, can't you?
Gordon: Yep - though I don't think it will come close to 'The Chamber' sore
of mismanagement.
Chico: Well, all that's left is the "next outs"... Amazing Race: I think the
Bowling Moms are up against a 7-10er.
Gordon: Agreed - they seem to be next. BB5 - do we lose a twin?
Chico: Of course. Only question: Which one?
Gordon: I'll say Adria.
Chico: Probably Adria, because Natalie as far as we know hasn't done anything.
Gordon: True.
Chico: Candidate: Park is the only conservative left in the running. Big
target. Will anyone capitalize?
Gordon: Nope - same reason as in Idol - people will vote for the lone
conservative.
Chico: Especially in Virginia, the next stop on the tour.
Gordon: Yep.
Chico: One more question: Baja Blast or Pitch Black Mountain Dew?
Gordon: I don't drink soda, so C. Snapple Go Go Bananas! (Would that be Go Go Power Bananas?)
Chico: That's a pretty good place to wrap. Once again, big thanks to our big party who are... just about gone now... Left us to clean up the mess...
Gordon: Pass the mop.
Chico: Done. For Gordon and everyone here at GSNN, I'm Chico, and until next time... game over... Where's the Swiffer?
Gordon: I used it for Time Is Money. Grab the dustpan.