August 22, 2004
Chico: And it comes
in a can. Welcome back.
Gordon: We are now down to the BIG FINISH.
Chico: Which is even bigger than usual, because we have
to pick up the slack
from the first segment newswise. That said...
Gordon: start us off with the JUMBO SIZED finish.
Chico: First up: Amazing Race. Charla and Mirna, one of
the most (insert
adjective here) teams this year, iced... Your thoughts?
Gordon: Cute, cuddly, underdogs, lots of spirit, not as
bright as the
Chico: Can't help but love them, can you?
Gordon: I love them like I love a cute beagle, but
sometimes the beagle runs
his head against a tree and has to be sent away to have
their head examined.
Chico: And thus today's elimination. Also iced,
and Lance, who have
to have their knees iced, bringing us TO this week's Big
"Chico and Gordon's Most Painful Eliminations".
and Lance, of course, the
Gordon: We talking painful as in physical - or also as
in mental, or we
didn't see this one coming?
Chico: Any one of the three.
Gordon: Then I have to talk about my two favorite people
- HEATHER and EVE.
Chico: That was painful. Eliminated by a taxicab.
Gordon: The most painful in AR history, though, had to
come in the first
season. The poor mother/daughter team Nancy and Emily
that gave up - only to know
that all they had to do was to finish the task and they
would have knocked out
Chico: Then comes any Idol elimination in which Gordon
has to throw in the
two words: "Chaos Theory"
Gordon: Ah yes, the Chaos Theory - if you think you are
safe, you aren't -
and the eliminations got so painful that even Elton John
gave us his 2 cents
Chico: Next: Robby Roseman, who is the king of futility,
having answered his
$100 question on Millionaire... wrong.
Gordon: As it's been known as llamaing out. The most
painful quiz elimination
has to be Dan Avila, who blew a 2 million dollar
question, then a 1 million
dollar question. Is it ...tuna?
Chico: No, it's CHOCOLATE! Another painful elimination
came this week...
Will's ouster on a tiebreaker in Big Brother... I
personally don't buy the whole
"I flipped a coin in my head" defense Adria put up.
Gordon: no - Adria is smart - but she is backstabbing
way too soon - and that
will either cost her or Natalie this week. They could
have sacrificed a
Marvin or a Cowboy this week - and that decision may
come back to haunt her.
Chico: Like Will said, "Sooner than later."
Chico: Probably one of the best lines in BB history.
Chico: Onto another elimination: Stump the Schwab this
week had its final,
and the best man came out on top in Curt Spear...
Gordon: A worthy champion - but not worthy enough as he
fails to win a job
with the Schwab.
Chico: The only person to knock out the Schwab and he
goes all the way only
to fall short at the end. I think the best person won,
Gordon: I think so too.
Chico: You think ESPN will try to give away another job
at the research
department? I would be surprised if they did, really.
Gordon: Why not? Its a decent job - but they may want to
look for younger
-like 'The Assistant' type of younger demo.
Chico: Oh man.. That show's bordering on insanity, right
now. Of course, it
help if Andy Dick's involved.
Gordon: I don't like the show, as I think it goes past
goes back to me having an inherent hate of shows that
deceive the people of not
knowing what they got themselves into.
Chico: Did I mention "insane?" Because if I didn't, I'll
go ahead and say it
Gordon: Insane - and (almost forming a complete anagram)
Chico: Correct two times. Jeopardy's in a bit of a
downswing right now. No
surprise, right? Reruns + no Jennings..
Gordon: Not concerned. Just watch the ratings in
September - especially if
Jennings picks up where he left off.
Chico: Yeah, but again, no surprise, really.
Chico: On the radar here, Survivor Vanuatu: Islands of
Fire... 18 castoffs,
two sexes... Can the women repeat?
Gordon: Probably. Lets see what other twists they have
up their sleeve.
Apprentice - also 18 people, what's up with that?
Chico: All I'm seeing is two extra episodes right now.
But I doubt that's the
end of it.
Gordon: Agreed - I hope the Donald has something up his
Chico: Me too.. Or else, the gloves'll be off. Speaking
of which, Contender
vs. Champ... Who's going to win this one?
Gordon: Contender. Champ already look like a tomato can,
as there are many
holes in it.
Chico: You can tell is just Fox mismanagement at its
worst, can't you?
Gordon: Yep - though I don't think it will come close to
'The Chamber' sore
Chico: Well, all that's left is the "next outs"...
Amazing Race: I think the
Bowling Moms are up against a 7-10er.
Gordon: Agreed - they seem to be next. BB5 - do we lose
Chico: Of course. Only question: Which one?
Gordon: I'll say Adria.
Chico: Probably Adria, because Natalie as far as we know
hasn't done anything.
Chico: Candidate: Park is the only conservative left in
the running. Big
target. Will anyone capitalize?
Gordon: Nope - same reason as in Idol - people will vote
for the lone
Chico: Especially in Virginia, the next stop on the
Chico: One more question: Baja Blast or Pitch Black
Gordon: I don't drink soda, so C. Snapple Go Go Bananas!
(Would that be Go Go
Chico: That's a pretty good place to wrap. Once again,
big thanks to our big
party who are... just about gone now... Left us to clean
up the mess...
Gordon: Pass the mop.
Chico: Done. For Gordon and everyone here at GSNN, I'm
Chico, and until next
time... game over... Where's the Swiffer?
Gordon: I used it for Time Is Money. Grab the dustpan.