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Fourteen men and women kick, shoot, dive, punch, and literally fall for the chance to work with one of the legends of American action cinema, Joel Silver, for a made-for to be aired later.  

Recaps by Gordon Pepper, GSNN


FACT FILE:
Host:
Tina Malave
Casting Directors: Victoria Burrows, Scot Boland, Josh Einsohn, Marki Costello
Creators: Gary R. Benz, Michael Branton
EP: Joel Silver, Gary R. Benz, Cris Abrego, Rick Telles,
Packager: Warner Bros. TV, Silver Pictures TV, GRB Entertainment, NBC Studios
Airs: Wedesdays at 8:00pm ET on NBC (replays Fridays at 11:00pm ET on GSN)


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Watery Grave - July 14

We are down to the Final Four - or the Elite 8, whichever way you want to see it. We have 4 men and 4 women, and they will be paired off into a one man and one woman team to make a movie which... will be seen by around 6 people and will be shows on USA Networks in around a month.

The scene this time around is called 'Watery Grave'. Both the man and the woman are tied up as they have to get past their worst fears - and an explosion, to boot.

Some people's biggest fear could be lack of sleep, as everyone got drunk after the callbacks. How drunk? Well, Jared woke up... naked... with Melisande. Sure enough, the video has Jared naked rolling on the floor. The rest of the guys tell Jared that he was spooning Melisande and refresh his memory about what actually happened for the evening. The problem - Jared has a girlfriend already, and she can't be too happy about Jared rolling around the floor naked. Oopsie.

Melisande wonders if she can stop the gossip train. Nope. She wonders if there is anyway they can drop it. Sean - "It looks like it has already been dropped." Melisande said that before she went to the show, she realized that she would be characterized as either a b$tch or a slut. Three guesses what you are characterized as...

As the next scene involves water (and more importantly, breathing underwater), Jim takes the 8 contestants left and brings them to stunt diving class. They get to play with the gear while trying to stay afloat. This concerns Melisande, who is afraid of the water. Mae, meanwhile, holds her nose while she is underwater. Being that they were considered the 'lawnchairs on the Titanic' the last time out, this isn't looking too good for either of them.

The NetZero High Speed Challenge is to work your way through an underwater obstacle course by grabbing a rope and swimming through it. By the way, you are wearing goggles painted black in the inside - which would be the equivalent of an underwater blindfold. Everyone made it without much concern, though Mark wants to know why they need to be so hard - and why they can't do it more than once. You sure you're not a blonde, Mark?

Speaking of Blonde moments, Jared and Mark argue which is better - grass or dirt. Or an Oscar and an Emmy, as they run their own mock radio show. Mark reminds Jared to keep his clothes on at all times. Now they tell him?

Of course, Jared doesn't have to worry about it, as Hollywood fashion designer Brenda Cooper shows the next wardrobe for the scene - skimpy bathing suits. Corinne, who had enough problems with full length clothing, should be having a conniption. The guys will be having body paint added to their body to make them more attractive - and Brenda orders the guys chests and backs to be shaved. This upsets John, who looks like the Tasmanian Devil, while Brenda reminds them to work on their insecurities.

Cut to the women. Brenda is playing with the girls'... assets. Corinne takes it personally when Brenda tells her and Melisande to get a boob job. That was the equivalent of telling her to jump in a pool of acid, and there is clearly no love loss between the two of them.

Jeanne loves cheese - and cheese loves Jeanne, as she complains about her weight. The actors are complaining about their next assignment, which is to write their own last will and testament. How cheery. Howard Fine tells them all that they can do better - and they want them all to prove themselves today. John goes first - and everyone was blown away. That concerns Mae, who felt that she wasn't ready to display her emotions. Sean says that he has a lot of relatives and he takes a while. He lets it go - and it just seems like he is going overboard, though Howard enjoyed it.

Next is Jared, who Howard is accusing him of being over-competitive. He does the Last Will... if it was Jim Carrey on his death-bed. Everyone was repulsed by it and even Howard detects manipulation in the performance. Howard gives his Casting Card to Sean...and Mae. He says that Jared can be emotional at any t ime, which is a neat trick - but it's still a trick. Hmmm...

Jared takes his snub personally. Everyone else takes a break - except John and Mae, who have to select their teams for the performance. Sean picks Jeanne, Corinne and John, while Mae gets Jared, Melisande and Mark. Being as Mae's group has the 'disposable' actors, they better be able to do the job well...

After more discussion on Jared and Melisande, everyone is introduced to a blond surfer-type. Chef Juliano (who Corinne wasn't sure if it was a guy or a girl) shows everyone about the wonders of vegetarianism. Sean did find it tasty - while everyone else just found him bizarre. Mad Mad House's Avocado's spirit has channeled into this show - and so has their ratings.

Jared does play along with Chef Juliano, but his organic spicy food was a little too spicy for him as he winds up in the bathroom for most of the evening. When he finally gets out of the bathroom, he goes right after the chef - much to the consternation of the rest of the actors, who go after Jared. Jeanne and Sean both go after Jared and Sean wants to beat the crud out of him. Jared thinks that Sean is threatened by him, and the war of words continues.

At 4:30 am, the actors are whisked to the set, all decked out with a water tank. Jared's group, who had a prayer's circle beforehand, goes first. Jerry reminds them that they need to show a sense of panic. Melisande had that and then some, as she thought the whole experience was a nightmare. On the other side, Jeanne thought that she may have been over-trained for it, because she was calm - maybe too calm.

The guys had their own problems. Mark, who never has been in a fight, had troubles with the choreography. Jerry says that looks are important, but it will take more than looks to get the gig. That leads us into callbacks, where we see everyone in action. All of them thought that Jeanne's team was the stronger team, which means that the eliminated ones will be in Jared's squad. They weren't nuts with any of them in the group and they think that Jared is starting to collapse. They still are arguing between which of the 4 need to go...

...and we'll see who wins the argument as Tina hands out the scripts. This time around, we also see casting director Victoria Burrows to give feedback. She reminds all of them that they are all at risk and to not be comfortable. She tells them all that none of them did an outstanding job, while Jared thinks that they all did a good job in his group. Actor and Casting Director on different pages - not good.

The call backs go to...John, Corinne, Sean and Jeanne. The last two callbacks go to...all four people. No one gets eliminated, but they all get a warning that this is their first - and only - reprieve. Jared completely disagrees and he rallies his troops, telling him that he was happy with the scene. Can we say deluded?

So instead of letting the show die a quick death, we get the agony prolonged by a completely useless episode. Argh.

Is it just me, or does both the producer and the director look like they want to do another casting call?

Does that feeling - and the criticism of the actors instead of saying what they have done right contributed to people leaving in droves and only getting a 2.5 (yecch) rating?

We'll have more rantings from me next week.

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