"The Line..." -
Chrissy Sanford just won at least $5 million that she
didn't really win. Now she has to fool her family into
thinking that she's gone from gentle to mental, spending
the balance of the prize money on herself and herself
only. Any more tension? What do YOU think?
Time for Chrissy to up
the ante, as she charters a flight to Beverly (Hills,
that is) to go shopping some more. Today's challenge:
ignore the wants and needs of her family, and if they
want something, Chrissy has to buy it for herself. Dad
Guy is concerned that Chrissy's funds are depleting all
too quickly. But Chrissy has made her choice, as she
heads up Rodeo Drive. While on Rodeo Drive, Chrissy and
family roll up in the limo (in case you haven't seen a
reality show, that would be ten years ago what the
Bentley is now). Chrissy pretends to love it, and the
others buy it, lock, stock and barrel.
But if she's going to
spend like a high roller, she's got to look the part.
The first stop: Jonathan, which, if you don't know, is
the salon on Bravo's "Blow Job." Guy sees a side of
Chrissy that she's never seen before in a $300 hairstyle
and a $100 fruitplate. So what do brothers Eric and
David do in the meantime? Get a $14 cut at Supercuts.
Meanwhile, Chrissy wants
sushi for her sophisticated taste buds. Holly calls
Now to the shopping
spree. After hitting up Lladro (one of a kind porcelain
sculptures; $47,152.37), Eric decides that he hates
shopping... except with Holly. They get to talking about
a mermaid sculpture that Eric would sacrifice his
disability check for. Well, better hurry before... Oh,
too late. Chrissy bought it.
Next, St. John, where
Chrissy stocks up on shoes, belts, jackets, dresses,
and... more champagne for the family. They're beginning
to worry that Chrissy's spending habits may get the
better of her. The price of her St. John spree:
$57,412.06. "She's winding down, I hope." Not after a
trip to Chopard, the most expensive jeweler in LA.
Chrissy gets a $750K necklace, and a pair of $850K
earrings. Guy puts it best. "This is getting crazy."
This is way beyond
Chrissy's character, as she gets a pink-diamond watch
instead of the watch that David wanted.
Eric and Holly call BS
to the lottery official, saying that Holly was crying
her eyes out. "Watching my family have nothing to do
with me is not what I expected," Chrissy says, as she
plunks down $1.7 million on precious bling.
Next up, Chrissy decides
that she wants to become... a pop star? WTF? "I do have
a really really BAD voice!" Don't worry, Chrissy. Lots
of people with bad voices are into pop stardom right
now. *ahem*Ashleesimpson*ahem* To that end, she takes
everyone, including wannabe country singer Holly, to a
recording studio. Wait, it gets better. Mom's favorite
group: *Nsync. Assisting Chrissy in the studio... Lance
Bass *presses popstar button* "It's great music for a
Needless to say Holly
was hurt, and it's not just at Chrissy's mangling of
worked for years doing this, and she's in there doing it
off key... I'm just going to jump in that room and sock
her!" Get in line. Chrissy's jam session cost $18,000 in
So far, Chrissy spent
$1.8 million on herself... and zero on her family.
Although they did get some free champaggin out of the
Well, she regains her
composure, so no punching of the Chrissy today, though
she does think that Chrissy more than went over the
Back to the resort, the
conversation gets a little heated between Eric, Holly,
and Chrissy, while David said "Please just make it
stop." After all, who wants to see a rich bitch spin for
Chrissy now has to fool
the family into thinking that she wants to get some
serious nips and tucks. Guy thinks that he's getting
some lasik. Meanwhile, the doctors (actually paid
actors) decide that she should really have some botox
for her forehead, collagen injections for her lips, and
breast augmentation for her... breasts. Guy and Lois
note that she loves to play soccer and that this would
totally go against her tomboy nature.
The doc gives everyone
some samples to.. uh.. play with. And if that wasn't
enough, Tabitha, the doctor's secretary, gives the
Sanfords a... shall we say, demonstration?
Three letters.. F...
C... C. Implants: $28,000. The bouncing Chrissy
footage... priceless. But she still has $3 million (give
or take a few hundred thousand) to spend in order to
qualify for the big spin. So it's time to buy up some
property. Enter the realtor. Guy could think about the
lot for $1 million, build a home for another two, and
then sell it back for $4.7 mill.
Nope. Chrissy wants to
look at houses. Matthew thinks the house is huge,
Phillip likes the pool table. The tag: $4.75 million.
House #2: $7.2 million. Two words: theatre room.
"Definitely a cool outing," David said. "But if she
thinks about buying a house... I'm done!"
Winner: House #1, as
Chrissy buys it for whatever money she has left, at
least $3 million. And after all this hurrah about not
really having enough money remaining, and all in the
... and the Big Spin is
forthcoming. "You just spent the whole frickin' load..
Are you STUPID?!"
So let's take a rundown:
Chrissy's $5 million... gone. Guy's dream of building a
house for her only daughter... gone. All the love they
had for her in the first place... gone. David doesn't
want to be a part of the spin... but will he come
"Get her back in here.
We've got to talk some sense into her."
Next time... the Big